perscripted after
mother found me
bleeding from
my wrist
more than a
week ago going
"strong" she has
my blades but it's hard
to take the harshest weapon
when it's your head
and it's sharpened in the night

Go under water and breathe in.

2. Take your dinner knife and push it through your heart. Slowly.

3. Open up your skull, and fill it with bees. Dance around a bit to aggravate them.

4. Stare into the sun without blinking.

5. Stick your tongue to a stop sign pole when the temperature is below zero.

6. Walk across a fire pit. Hell, just stand still in the middle.

7. Run as fast as you can and hit the corner of your counter with your hip bones.

8. Bite on your lower lip until it bleeds.

9. Lie on the ground and have someone put rocks onto your chest.

10. Pour grits on the floor and kneel upon them. You'll bleed some, but that's okay.

10. Go outside during an autumn evening with a sweatshirt on. Do you feel that breeze?

9. Read the Bible and wonder why God didn't tell anyone to write a book solely about you.

8. Play with children.

7. Stay up late and watch your favorite shows under thick blankets and pillows.

6. Put up Christmas lights and turn off all the others and think of how happy you were in every Christmas you've ever had.

5. Go to your local ball park and catch a game.

4. Look at how the stars match the same constellations in your eyes.

3. Go camping and wake up early. Make sure you make hot chocolate and fried potatoes and wear a hoody the whole trip.

2. Read poetry and sit at the ocean.

1. Fall in love with yourself too.

i feel like im floating
                 im not in this body
     just watching it
slowly die
without being able
  to care because its too
far gone for help

                                      small fact
i dont think im going anywhere in life
and if the teenage years are "the
                                                         best" well im not
gonna make it far

you don't need this                                                           are they just voices?
no you shouldn't eat that                                             because the personalities
you'll gain weight stupid                                                             are in the hues of my heart
don't break the chain of starving yourself
you were getting somewhere
don't eat that you fat pig
okay fine just a little
no, no more

                                care more, she's your friend
                          put her first she deserves more
                                  don't tell her it'll upset her                  what makes you think
           be nice, accepting and make her happy                            you could be worth anything?
        then you can attempt to be happy for her         everyone else left, maybe its time
                             fake it till you make it stupid

you didn't do that good enough
you stupid fat *****
why'd you even think he'd care
just go ******* stupid                                              my exterior disgusts me
you ****** up again                                         my mind revolts me
like you always do, you don't                                           im tired
get anything right
you'll never be
smart enough or pretty enough
just stop

I just can't seem to think clearly anymore

My

             Thoughts



Aren't
     Aligned


                              In


               Any      Way

I just need the loving touch of an angel
To bring me back to sanity

                           Sweet and gentle man

I ask you

                      Gently and carefully




Let me bathe in


                                    Your aura


         Of hazy night, and deep raspberry perfume