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Jesse Jan 6
“You know what, she’s actually right”
Suddenly, the chatter faded
The only sound that I can hear is just a blaring horn echoing through the busy street
And thousands of voices in my mind
“Thanks dad for the heads up"
It actually feels really good to have someone defending you in the middle of arguments with your mother
Because I know that I will never win against her
“Thanks dad for understanding me”
As I let those feelings sink in, i start to realize,
i shouldn’t think like that

My 15-year-old self will never think like that
I used to hate him, you know
I used to hate my father.
Yet here I am now,
thinking like he would think
saying the things that he would say.

I still remember how it felt,
When I have a big fight with my mother
She looks at me right in the eye
Her sight is filled with rage and tears that dared to fall
And she said,
“you know what you sound like right now? you sound like your father”
13 words I wish I’d never hear again

That was a few years ago but the weight of her words still lingers in my mind to this day
I never wanted to be like him
But the more I think about it,
The more I realize
That I have so much of him in me

Now, I wonder
Did i slip into his shoes without even realizing?
Have I turned into him?

-N.J
i think about this at least 10 times a day #lol
Jesse Dec 2023
“i love you forever”
that’s the last thing he said to me

it’s funny isn’t it, he said he won’t leave me
yet, i'm sitting here with a cold coffee and pack of cigarette
while my cheeks are covered with salt

it’s funny isn’t it, the way we always love to stargazing
yet, he never mentioned that he’ll be one of those stars

but its okay, i guess at the end, forever didn’t actually mean forever, did it ?

i hope heaven loves you as much as i do
until we meet again.


- N.J

— The End —