Salty kisses trace their beauty down tired cheeks
Songs split with the heartache of too much love
And my palms are empty
I reach for some sort of conclusion
Some suggestion as to where my bandaged heart
May warily stumble
I am lost.
In eyes the colour of chocolate milk and lashes reminiscent of licorice
I am lost
In eyes the warm dawn blue of glacial landscapes
Laughing with years of happiness crinkling their edges
I am lost.
My exhausted heart struggles to hold scattered emotions
That scud gently across the surface of reality
Disturbing the dark waters of my soul
And crying to the wanderlust in my veins
They speak to me
The peaks jagged in the brilliance of dawn
Stand majesticly
Tall, demanding, inviting me into their surreality
And i am lost
The harsh white glint of sunshine on frozen snow captures the notes trapped in my fingertips
And i want to sing
I want to dance under the expanse of life spread before my stunned eyes
Kiss the drops that rain down on young hearts in love
with life
I want to sing to the glistening stars
Wheeling above our awestruck heads
Breaths
intermingled in a cold condensation before released to the darkness
such a profound feeling of connection
my heart is full
my palms empty
and my cheeks salty
Love found in freedom along the lines of his arms
which raise in admiration of the wild beauty we are
submerged in
I am in heaven
If it were made of cold stars, singing snow, soft breaths, unexpected laughs and an infinity of limbs which reach for eachother
Strings of freedom plucked to the symphony of the ranges
that cradle our bodies
Bodies heavy with the honesty caught in these peaks i let a tear cascade down my cheek
Because I am lost
Between chocolate warmth and glacial ecstasy
Both of which catch my swollen heart with hands meant
To cradle and breath
The mountain air that crisply reflects our tired limbs
The hoarse crack of the whisky jack nipping scraps from
frivilous fun
A spoon, glinting in the alpine spring sunset as his laughter
lightens my soul and sets free my wings.
We are so perfect
ly unperfect
A silly meandering giggle permeates our friendship
But eyes
Like the warm dawn blue of a glacial landscape meet the salty depths of my soul
and look right in
Profound understanding, contentment caught in the smile in his eyes
the light touches of my foot
hands red from the cabin heat
set free the smile trapped in my shoulders
And i am whole
He is more to me than these limbs are to my torso
He is my legs which run down the snowy hill
The stomache i slide on as we glide down penguin slopes
The fingers i use to ink down my indecision on scrap paper found in the lines of my heart.
He knows how much I care
He asked "do you love him?"
a crack in his  voice
his shoulders hunched with the weight of my emotional betrayal
I could not answer
My lips formed
Yes
I care for him. I may even love him.
But he is my best friend
My sword fighter, my rock scrambler, my running through the dark blindly spinning underneath the wheeling stars for the pure hell of it lover
He is the raw moonlight dancing through the clouds
kissing the branches with laughing lips
He is lightness.
And I am lost.
I am alone
And so i should be on this journey to freedom
Buf he makes me feel as if i belong
My mind is a canvas
These mountains my muse
and he is my paintbrush
Streaking sunset hues across my landscape
And I cannot decide.
So i release and let this mountain become my guide

For Helene.


Ashes on the water, now.
Love's bones like dust downstream.  
At least it got to see itself in our eyes,
Feel itself between hand holding hand

And whispered caresses.
From pillow talk to fists raised at
Concerts, glasses of Portuguese wine
On her balcony to the sound of magpies

We named our neighbours.
We were beautiful.
Began beautifully.
Ended gracefully.

I open hands that held hers and see
Nothing but skin worn by labour,
And air.
Ashes on the water, now.

Embers without a chance against rivers  
Cold with melted mountain snow and
Unyielding differences.
Some loves drown with lungs too full

To cry; others float like a funeral-pyre-
Longboat into the night, ablaze.
King and queen, hand upon hand.
Crowns tied from fresh flowers,

We were beautiful.
Began beautifully.
Slid apart the way a glacier parts from
The hills; slowly, but with the force

Of its thousands of tons.
Ashes on the water,
Where the ghost of our union rests
Underneath the surface of our memories.

I will remember you.
Until the stars burn out, raining the
Dust of themselves like snow upon
These waters that always are moving.