That smell isn't around anymore.
I didn't even realize it until I could barely remember it.

It's the smell of the old place I used to live
alone.
The smell of the doors at night
and the corn patties in the cupboard
and the leather sofa
and my old cat.

It's the smell of the doubt.
The lack of the light.
Being stuck in the middle of the tunnel.
The smell of the tunnel vision.
The smell of the fact that it was
midnight after the journey through the tunnel.

The smell of my heavy chest,
that I smelled with my head hung,
nose close to my heart.

Straight ahead, it doesn't have that heavy smell.
Now it smells of ethnic food.
And breath always on the side of my neck.
It's warm.

The smell of trying and failing.
I only smell success from effortlessness.

Enough
Enough death
Enough lies
Enough hurt
Enough cries
Loosing a battle we should have won
Enough is enough
This should be done
Enough tears
Enough fears
time to make it clear
that being put down through all the years
only makes you stronger
Stand taller
Show the world your life was meant for longer
Fight harder
Become strong
Show them they were wrong
Move along
Life going on
Life going strong
Life moving on

We'll drive
Stare out the window
And sing
to each other
Eat terrible food
and laugh
with one another
Gallivant around antique shops
and dream
of life together.

We'll reach the final destination
throw our suitcases
on the bed of our
cheap motel
and kiss passionately
wherever.

I used to find pain
Behind every withered memory
Hiding under every word
Creeping alongside my laughter
But I have been opened
And the pain that lingered inside
Has taken flight like a startled crow
A black shadow against the black night
I appear to have been opened
And sweet things are trickling in
Where the pain used to be
They fill my soul
Not make it deeper
They touch my wounds
But do not hurt them
These sweet things that taste of honey
Smell of spring
And look like life
Repair my withered memories
Enhance my every word
And laugh alongside me
I don't know what the sweet things are
But they grow on me
And do not consume me
Now I have forgotten the pain
I remember what the sweet things are
They aren't love, they aren't happiness
They are little pieces of **velvet stars

I don't think I've ever been the stuff of woman’s fantasies

I doubt a stranger passing on a street has given me

a second glance you see,

I can't play guitar I can't sing a song I can't even dance

I am what some magazines would call “out of shape”

I have a beard but contrary to stereotypes

it doesn’t smell nor does it contain

remnants of food like Mr Twit .

But maybe if I died in some immaculate way

I'd be revered and future people would pray to effigies of me,

have images of me dangling from their neck.

Alters made up of an old shoe I once wore,

or perhaps a piece of paper I had scribbled on?

My pathetic writing suddenly prophetic.

Until then I guess I continue to exist

and grow my beard in readiness.

My favorite memories are here, with you
Riding in your car
One hand on the steering wheel, the other in mine
One eye staring at the road to keep us safe
The other can’t resist looking back at me
With love

Your voice sings loud enough to cover the radio
Notes above and below pitch
I’m a critic, but I don’t mind
Because you’re mine
You’re all I need

Consistent trips to an overpriced coffee shop
Caffeine runs through our veins
Caffeine mixed with a four letter word
One that drove our actions, our words, our hearts
When we were still too afraid to say it

I first told you here, where my favorite memories are
Because it is one
Though it isn’t perfect and romantic as I’d hoped
It’s our memory all the same
When my fear of that same four letter word was lost
And my fear of losing you replaced it
I had to tell you

I sat there quiet, refusing to look at you
And when I did
I just couldn’t help myself
Whispering softly I said it
And my whole world changed

Suddenly it was different
Love existed because you and I existed
And in the midst of fooling around
In an empty parking lot
In your car with the radio off
I told you I love you

I feared the worst in that moment
Until you tilted my head up
So that my eyes would meet yours
And you smiled
And before you said it, your eyes did
And I knew you loved me
And then you said it
Pure bliss

I never knew such a feeling existed
It was different than I’d imagined
Better
It gets better every day
Because each morning I wake up
I look at the picture frame on my nightstand
The two of us staring into each other’s eyes
With love

Each morning I wake up
I fall deeper in love with you than the day before
Cliché I suppose
But with love
All the clichés begin to come true

There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do
To make you happy
To see you smile
To hear you laugh
To feel your lips softly caress mine

With love

So he dreams and dreams and dreams of her,
And is awakened by the light,
In his heart he loves her so,
But only in the night,
The dawn of day reveals to him,
Out of reach and out of sight!
He awaits each evenings sunset,
To drift into her shore,
And once again be held by her,
Embraced and wanting more,
The tide begins to draw him in,
The surf begins to rise,
His only hope of having her,
Is when he's closed his eyes.

I have heavy boots
My boots are filled with all of the things I never say
They are getting heavier with all the things I never do
Sometimes it’s just easier to wear heavy boots
At least your legs get strong