I know there will come a day when she will leave me

She has to

No longer will I get to enjoy the beauty of the smile she hates
Or notice the way she waddles away
A bit like a duck

'I'm perfectly okay with this'
That is what I'll say
That is what I'll say on that terrible day

And it's coming...

Creation slows for no man
Not even the son of Three
It's coming to take her away
To new and exciting roads...

A life that needs to be lived in a little

I hope that she finds the goodness
That she finds peace
It's an ugly world we live in
If you ain't marching to the right beat

If ever you need me, I'll be around
Spinning just the way I always was
Even if only the electrical impulses that used to be me
Remain buried

Dusty

Deep in the back of your mind

I hope sometimes you'll visit
You can have a seat in my chair
Perhaps we will plan new adventures
Or just reminisce about the ones we've shared

Either way, I will be grateful
To see that you're happy and intelligent, and capable
I'll tell you a couple of my stories, too!
Maybe then we'll fall in love the way

All True Lovers do.

Today a dense fog drifted over my mind and
behind my pupils, my breath
swam through it as I passed blindly over the
moist cracks in the sidewalk. And
no matter how hard I focused, my
lungs still felt heavy and my heart
still raced, and my legs
couldn’t keep themselves
from stumbling on the thoughts that
flickered uncontrollably through my mind.
Today, I threw my hands at the
gates of never-never land
desperate to escape, even if I cannot see
the other side, even if these gates
are made of nothing but my own
fear.
I want to scream, ”I AM AN EMOTIONAL MAN,”
but there would be no one to hear me but
the squirrel, confusing the utility pole for a tree as I pass by.
Today, snippets of joy and confusion and
longing slip in front of my retinas like
water particles suspended in air.
I can feel the emptiness burn
like a fire within my core,
the void that I confuse for hunger.
Today, my eyes see nothing
but the tenderness that lays softly upon my heart,
the longing for
inner-peace that laces my every breath, and the
yes, maybe, someday, love, that
echoes in my every footstep.

I've done this before
the      d       i         s            t           a          n          c               e

game.

Must be something
special cause I swore
I'd never futs with
that again.

But here I am
marking days off my
calender     X     X     X
X     X      X

I understand why you hurt and
I understand what's been done
But it seems to me you do not understand
That I am not the one.
She was the one that broke your heart,
I'm not her.
She was the one to psychotically start,
I'm not her.
The ones that left silver scars on your perfect face...
I'm not them.
Yet,
You react and flinch at me as though I am your former femme.
Ghosts of girlfriends past
Haunting our sublime present
They begin to scar me too
As you reflect onto me your ailment.
Punished for performing torment, neglect, and malice
When all that I'd done was exaltment, respect, and cherish.
I beg you to lift the mask from your eyes
That will lead to our purest love's demise
For if we were to end on their score
I will forever bear my own wounds that were yours before.

I'd faithfully promised
Myself and my friends
That all this was over
And I'd reached the end
Of my fawning and sighing
And tripping cloud nine -
I'd said I was finished
I'd said I was fine.

But I wasn't, you see,
And it all became clear
When I saw you again
For the first time this year:
You stood so **** near me
And smiled so wide
And shouted my name
And I melted inside . . .

I can't turn away now:
You stare so intensely,
You promise tomorrow,
And I love you immensely.
Thus, after the heartache,
The fear and the pain,
I'm back with a vengeance.
I'm back in the game.

For you,
One Day.

I’ll just be a name,
A face in a picture,
A dusty old memory
Hidden in the back
Of your mind.
Like the sock that
Always goes missing,
Or the book that
Falls behind the shelf.
I’ll fade to black,
And thoughts of me
Will be fewer,
And farther between.

For Me,
One Day.

You will be more
Than names and pictures,
And there will never be any
Time for dust to fall
On our memories shared.
And that sock,
And that book,
I cling to them
In hopes that one day,
You will go looking
For those lost little pieces
That before where just,
*There.

The storm will keep me
in good company instead
also more coffee