Once upon a time I died a little, and I have not lived since then.

Life starts as a clean slate.
A child, a babe,
Innocent.
When you are born, you have done no wrong.
But every single day after that,
Every extra day you breath, you do something wrong.
But today, You begin anew.
I grant you a fresh start,
A second chance,
Call it what you will.
Don't dwell on the past,
Focus on the life you want. Work for it.
Begin anew.

You hate me
I hate me
Everybody hates me
I just can't believe how stupid I am
It was such a simple **** up Just a double check.
Know you know and I ****** up
Any chance I had is gone
****
I just wish I were dead.

Ranting
Screaming
Cussing in my head because my anger cannot be stopped
I am not a mindless sheep,
Not a child to be patronized and pitied
Don't laugh at me
I don't need your sympathies
If you care so much then why did you leave

This empty talk, it hurts me,
My tears make it hard to see.
All my smiles are fake
I'm about to break
And I just don't know who to be.

Once, I was strong. So I stretched it.
Then, it was fine, so I let keep going.
Something happened, so back I pulled.
for a while, it stopped and I grew stronger again,
But the pressure came on and now-- I've snapped.

So very scared....

Recovery is a state of knowing.
A state of trusting.
Knowing that you're strong enough,
And trusting you won't fail.

I don't think you kniw what it's really like to break
You say that's what you did, but I'd just call it being a *****.
Because breaking is when you can't resist the pull of your addiction to the blade,
And breaking is when you've held the pills to your lips and not even felt sorry.
Breaking is not needing to be alone,
Breaking is not a single panic attack.
I understand that life is ****,
But You haven't broken yet.

Something I am left without
A driving force that leads me
To the right place,
The right actions.
I'm lost
What am I here for
Like that midnight walk when you were sure that you wanted something, but you lost it in the process.
WHY
I can't take it!
Like looking out a window, expecting something to be there
But you just see the same old neighborhood
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting results
and I'm going insane the way that all things go
But it's not my fault! Can't you see it's not myfault I meant to do something but helpI cant gdet what I wanted to getIm going crazypleasehelpme ivelost my Purpose.