there is a hole in my heart
that is narrow,
though it is not big
it is only shallow
still it leaves
my spirit hollow
like the loss of a limb
or death of a sparrow
leaving me alone to wallow
in my preposterous sorrow
taken to tears i will shed
until tomorrow.....

vaguely i recall,
a sorry encounter
loving an angel
a rogue in disguise
little mistakes
to carelessly caution
the heart that sells
emotions by auction
how am i able to stand this?
he has no compunction

the same mistakes
i keep on repeating
promise my heart
that it would stop beating
but never it could
though seriously wasting
we have no control
of all our excesses

in reckless precision
i root my position
in lying ambition
the fire of ignition
burned my back
for courage i lack
to vehemently deny
this false recognition

what causes me to act
like keyholes in doorlocks?
always the passive answer
to a resistance?
can i not shine on
my own accord?
must i dream of luxuries
i can not afford?

i see myself
standing on my head
discarding the robes
like snakes in the shed
lying in my bed
and lying to myself
i am boring a hollow
but shallow hole in my heart

perhaps i deserve
the idiocy i create....

Mary Ann of the morning
with your bright hair
flowing in the wind
If I stand still, long enough
I can see your eyes moving
and your fingers dancing
It's, as if you never left....
this maze of sorrow
we all call our world,

Is that your voice I hear?
filled with the joys of youth
and the innocence of goodness
I miss your smile
and I am reversing time
in a perpetually slow motion manner
denying and not obeying
the circumstances of fate

Once again I witness,
the sunlight bathing the
features of your ever-beautiful face
How I wish for these sacred moments
to last forever
so we can share both conversation and coffee
in the early hours of a delightful dawn
with the knowledge that there is
safety in hope
a life fulfilled with unconditional love
that grows wildly like the
courageous flowers of the forest
and the mountain tops glazed
with the whiteness of snow,
dear Mary Ann of the morning....

Lost in the day
For the night’s
Chief bound captive
Wandering soul
In the morrow of doom
Love of the flame
Inscribed in a name
Heaven with mercy
Had given this fame

Wonderful feeling
Send strolling the air
Hide not in secret
To this, where I came
In colorful ribbons
To wrap all my gains
To touch all that drops
In winter gold rains

Love then, I shall
This wandering soul
Whose body is free
And can never be owned
By what right I should
Though eager I would
Passing in time
Forgotten in rhyme

Foregoing the consequence
Ne’re regretting the care
Neither remaining
In silver chain’s swell
That which was lost
For whatever the cost
To fallow a lead
And carry this deed

To wandering souls
To mortal time’s fare
Just for a share
In want and in bear
Give me one moment
Or give me but none
For this be the soul
I’ll offer the sun

Return to the clock
Whose hands I would lock
Are then to shock
And fate there to rock
In solid solitude
I dare not arrest
This impossible quest
That I must possess

A toast to thy presence
Without all pretense
Inverting the past tense
In measures immense
Thee be that wandering soul
That maketh me whole
Direct thee but one role
And safe in my lap
A bird that is free
Of the gilded restraint

For to covet a soul
Which I can not deny
Nor pardon for faults
I am not to blame
If I love a being
That God hath create
No matter what package
He be present
Is to love the morning sun
That quench this request…..

To this wandering soul
I lay at his feet
Submitting my past
My present and all
The I rest my case
And let my life fall
On the lap of this one man,
This wandering soul……….

my Lord speaks through
those that do not have voices
He sees through those
who do not have eyes
He needs no words to convey
His meaning
He is all music and movements
and mathematical equations
mercy tempered with justice
that is what He is
passion and compassion
reigning in His heart
His beauty is indescribable
He is the dark matter that
holds the universe in place,
though unseen
the stars and moons and suns
and planets
give homage to the One
who made us all
And ,though we do not
hear His voice
we feel him everyday
and everywhere
through Mother Nature
through the love
that bears His grace
through His spirit
that lives among the innocents
and the light from the sun
that shines on all our faces

my Lord speaketh and I hear
not through my ears
but through my mind
in His gentle telepathy
of faith and peace
and His wonders
that never cease.

I hear your voice
and I see.....

A burst of sunlight
dancing with a kiss
of the breeze....

Flashes of fireworks
cascading through the
illuminated sky...

waters falling
in the seas
like sweet and mellow notes
sung by children in
a choir of perfect harmony.....

the mysterious moon
shining over souls of lovers
swooning and dreaming,
blessing their sighs
with surge of emotions
so strong yet so frail
so beautiful beyond words...

the world in an hourglass
revolves carelessly
in the palm of your hands....

sands of Sahara
turning into silver and gold....

The sensual splendor of Rome
captured in the tender curve
of your smile....

The magnificent majesty
of the vast galaxies
of the universe
is enhanced in the
language of your eyes....

day embracing the night
and night surrendering
into day,
all in a second
through the gestures of
your body....

These I see and so
much more...
for you have given me wings
to soar through
heaven's immeasurable heights

And I say to myself
this must be love...
my heart can not deny
This must be love..
It must be true..
and it is such a precious pleasure
to fall in love with you

Paris....
romantically calm
lovely in January
Lights up
when you arrive
at her doorstep...
you promised me a postcard
but it sounded to my ears
like a promise of springtime
and roses,

Then I say to myself,
This must be love...
What else could it mean...
All my being arrested
with a word from your lips..
this must be love, my darling...
It must be so...
and it is such a precious pleasure
to fall in love with you...

I am myself in shadows
Forsaking the dawn
I am myself in darkness
Among a crowd of one
A solitude of plenty…
I am the words to
A rounded song,
A song to a husky voice
A voice to an empty silence
That I can not hear…
What do I fear?

This magnitude of life,
I wish that it had passed
Me by…
If I had been an ordinary lad,
Then maybe I won’t be so sad.
my end would not have been
So bad,
In my listless ,senseless compulsions
Brewed an endless stream
Of addiction,
Far worst than I could ever have
Imagined, in all the years
That I have survived..
What do I fear?

One happy thought,
Just one happy thought
I had none..
All is gone…
Alone
Louder, and louder
The deafening nothingness
Leaves me alone
Do not leave me alone…

Do you fear me?
Do you fear what I had become?
I had everything
That is nothing
Of true value
But everyone has a price
So I must pay the price
Of my folly..
My castle is my prison
An asylum for my kingdom

Long, long time ago
I used to know a different man
But he was gone before
I could remember his name….

deep set eyes of mystery
you give a solution to this misery
in a sad world of disenchantment
i see no end in disappointments

fair-faced being of the sand
so straight in time you stand
of principles so thorough and deep
you fight for all creatures that weep

poet of kings
you create a thousand rings
around my saddened heart
i only live by what you impart

i see tomorrow in your eyes
that never knew the burden of lies
teach me the way to fly
and all the things that answer why

and as i read your words of rhyme
i hear the bells that chime
to herald the coming of an age
to release a bird in a cage

shall i, to you, speak
and hear my voice so weak
so you may feel my hungry touch
that wanted you so much

or shall,i here, in any place stay
never to move or go away
absorbing colorless dreams
imbibing lifeless beams

if i had not known you, i will not be whole
a master of words, soul of my soul
i beg to meet you in a place
that defy all measures of time and space

the easiest words to say
are the hardest to live by
mere words they are ,
and yet,
could very well remind us
of our fallibility
and inability
to hang on every word
we ever spoke in promises

we often say
"I love you"...
we hear it now and then....
the soft tones
our voices emit
are, in reality,
only that...
with nothing else to spare

the hardest words to live by
are the easiest to understand
but how can they be said
with truth conquering lies
when the eyes connive with hearts
to allow lips to
utter mere syllables
bereft of meaning and
lasting joy
that it's true pronunciation can evoke....

flutter by
oh butterfly!
spread those wings,
go fly
into the mid-morning sun..
there your inner beauty
can not help
but truly shine

out of this world
into the silence of space
align your soul
with the passion
of your young life
you are now free of any strife.

promise me a kiss,
in your spiritual bliss
may you not forget
those who loved you
without regret
who now are grieving
upon your leaving...

in life, you have graced us
with the beauty of your face
we did not always understand...
at times we sneered
and we jeered
at times we clapped and cheered

but one thing's certain
you gave us cause
to stop and turn
you made us laugh and wonder
you made our thoughts wander

rest gently now
sweet butterfly
your sorrows are
no longer your sadness
we shall remember
this undying ember
the day you were born
in November

sleep in your dreams
peace in you ,gleams
your eyes will never close
into our hearts
always remain close......

out of the blue
I think of you
and everything is
as it should...

having you in my mind
is a preoccupation
unequaled in the
depths of my emotions...

why do you come to me,
in all hours of the day
or night?
but I welcome the thoughts of you..
with a glee
that makes all sorrows flee
to set me free

sometimes I wonder
if you know,
but I know that you
feel something too
there is this unspoken
thing between us
or am I overstepping
my boundaries?
with you, I can not take liberties
much as I would want to
and the gulf of year between us
reminds me that I must
keep my dignity intact

ah, but what I would give
just to make you look at me
with amorous desire
and see me in a beautiful light
the way I see you.....

For now I am content
knowing that our friendship
grows in leaps and bounds....
I am happy just to look at you
from afar-
in your small corner
of inter playing time and shadows
beside the main thoroughfare
that is heaven to my eyes...

I relish in the thought
that you lie gently in my heart
like the quiet fragrance of roses
in their magnificent poses
bathed in the sunlight of my
undying love...

For: R.F.
19 June, 2015

Sounds of a guitar
Sliding through the chords
Of my heart
The music is rock,
But it feels like
Free-flowing tenderness,
The gentleness of rain
As it drizzles through
The mellow pavement
Voices singing
Fiercely melodious
Of melodies untrained
Yet well contained
In a pool of unforgotten
Memories.....

You were the gentlest
Soul I have ever known
Straight as an arrow
In principles not wanting
Sometimes your stance
Was misunderstood
But you only bother
About what is good,

“A loving husband...
A doting father......”
Your epitaph may well
Be written with
These simple words....

I hear your whispers
Loud and clear
From the spiritual side
Of a non-physical world
I wish I could say more
But words could
Flow no more...
All I know is time stood by
When you breathed your
Last worldly sigh....

So here I am
Alone and awake
In the middle of the night
With  music in sight
An empty room and
Two electric fans
That could not quench
The stifling heat

Sounds of a guitar
In a well organized
Chaotic music that rocks
The loneliness within me

And then I realized....
I really, really miss your presence.....

On the road
I thought of you
Through flying clouds
And powder blue skies

There is a feeling
I can not comprehend
That makes my mind
And will bend……
What meaning, unto me,
Do you want read?

Lined trees alternating
In shades of green
Moving on ahead…

I cried

‘twas a long, long route
To a destination
I had no control of,
The pain and the pleasure
Intermingled in my breast
My heart was not at rest

I remembered…..
For so long
I finally did,
As I realized
There are fewer and fewer
Memories to live with……

I know your tears now
For I have shed them myself.

Standing alone in the rain
I look at all my pain
My life has gone through middle age
And I feel I am in a cage

Your music came to me one day,
The high pitched sounds along the way,
Soothing my soul in the words that you say
I relinquish my sorrows where I may

I have loved you all these years
And the echo of your voice I hear,
Songs of sensuality, unclear
Passionate verses without fear

I have lusted for you all this time
Making love to you in rhythm and rhyme
In my fantasies ,your lyrics are a chime
Your notes ,the dearest pantomime

You are mine but never mine
You were a star ,way too far
Down below and oh so low
I lie alone ,in motions of slow

You are human too,
You know agony as well,
Bled like mortals
Fell like mortals
Aged like all of us
Changed like all of us

Yet, to me,
You will always
Be the same
With your golden
Hair, flowing in the wind
As you crooned and cooed
Your long tall frame
Blending with the bars
Of the drums , the bass
and lead guitar
Your body is my altar
Your voice, my vision of hope

Nothing lasts forever
Nothing remains the same
Not the singer nor the song
As we move in life along

But in my mind I see only you
Singing the blues in blue
In all colors and hue,
With you, I am young again
With you I am new again

Your voice is my song of hope.

Golden droplets of the sea water
Mist my hands and hair with sighs
From mountains of flourishing splendor
Far away from battle-scarred grounds

Bring me to sea
Where all through the way
Fishes delight
And corals in sight
Catch up in time
To rest on the rails
Dissolving in thoughts
Of pleasures surrendered

Moving in lines
Choreographed by the wind
Sky-cloaked
And sun-soled
And fishermen’s nets
Living like creatures
Adorned by starfishes
Forgotten in time…
Just relying on compasses
To never get lost

You and I,
Our ships gliding
Through the night
Both never knowing
We’ve come face to face
Both of us longing
Tranquility’s strength
Lost in our own thoughts
Or company’s joy
Never alone and yet,
So alone……

Denied by the truth
In lands that we live
Grievously grieving
Though laughing in vain
Hiding, pretending
As masters behave

Only at sea
Do we begin to see

You were a lover
Who sailed through the seas
I am a dreamer
Who sees through the sail
Never together we were,
And never to be
Two fields divided
In two roads diverted

I’m strange to be longing
For someone not known
Strange that I ponder
What lies yonder
Thoughts of you
So clearly I see
Thoughts of the night
Then, your images flee

Only at sea
Do we really
Begin to see……..

Worldly passions arise
In this abstract distraction
From a faraway land
In his gaze
I live my life in fantasies
For his many splendoured
Smile…
That goes for many
Many miles
Of pure pleasure
Almost spiritual in nature
When I look upon
His countenance of joy
Erased are the pain
That becomes my past
Never more to besiege
My lonely heart
In this troubled life
I see only nature in its
Constant beauty
My abstract distraction
Is a form of distinction
material and immaterial
Perhaps in another galaxy
Or another lifetime
But for now,
I revel in the rapture
Of his being
And his silvery presence
On a screen
That projects a form of poetry
In my soul….

Morning is in the eyes of
Those who seek
The waves that lap
To meet the cheek
Death that calls us
Soon and all
Evening bends the will
That has to fall….

Enter life, in essence
Naked to the world
Exit life, as naked as the
Day of our births
Sleep that we have no choice
But to partake
Must in time and place
Break up things
We must forsake

Moving now
As moving we create
Swaying with the breeze
That will never cease
How moments treasured
Just go by,
In a wink,
In a flash,
And forever flying high

Think in my mind
Of you
When you were here
Silently, the tears have fallen
With the fears
Friends we were and
Friends we’ll always stay
In clouds of smoke
I do begin to pray

I see you as a bird
I see you as a flower
No longer man
Your spirit blooms
In splendor
Where you are
Is where God dwells
And where we’ll all be
Someday……

I take your hand
You view my soul
And you take off
On the clouds
In the skies
As morning blends
With the coming evening
I say
Goodnight my friend

Sweet are the thoughts
That you have left me
While you lived
We’ll meet there somehow
And somewhere
We’ll take off together
Soaring the blue and endless heavens….
You were there first
And I’ll be there next……..

time,
if time be kind,
to unwind
reverse the hands
with no demands...
will I see you
will you be mine,
even for a day
or a night
of unconcerned passion...
your smile,
comes up like the sun
in your eyes...
and the beauty
that I see
in your face...
I have seen in
no other man...

there in the land
where midnight is day,
cold winds wrap
my body and hold it
like a caress
I dream of a castle
foreign in name
but so common to my soul

you are someone I can not touch
yet you are someone
who has touched
the deepest chambers
of my heart
like a restless vagabond
I seek to know the
emotions seething inside
your mind
for in my mind
I witnessed your glory
in Rockelstad Slott
so dashing
so full of life
in debonair delight
I swoon in the brilliance
and the radiance
of the being that was you....

give me one summer
in Rockelstad Slott
that is all that I ask
of time...
give me one summer
where you and I
will be one...
the Swedish skies shall
witness this rebirth
of a love ,the prisoner
of a flame
enhanced by memories
of a handsome count
that once lived
in the land
of the midnight sun....

We are locked in a system
Politically,
Historically,
Culturally
And religiously

We think we have order
But our order is disorder

Looking back, we ask..
Where did we go wrong?

Why is the system not working
As it should?

But can we change it..?
No matter how we rearrange it
We go back to where we started

The system has taken its roots
Upon our brains and bodies
It chokes our necks
Until our breathing becomes laboured
Yet, we do not die,
We just rot and fade...

After us , what comes next...........?
I dread to imagine


#jeanrojasforthesystem

I see you in my rose-colored dreams
Embedded in a fluid glass
Surrounded by musical notes
The sounds of laughter
Reverberating on the halls
The smell of fresh strawberries
Hung heavy in the air
My closed eyes perceived this all
In one unaccustomed glance
On the far corners of
A pleasant memory
That has come to pass….


I feel the force
Of your mighty grace
A supernatural aura
That glows on your face
The flower of beauty
Blooms in your eyes
And the enchantment
Of your smile
Will always hold me enthralled…
I have known no other man
Who has held his reins of power
Over my heart
Like you have..
And how…..

My  fleeting dreams,
They are all I have at hand
Somewhere along the
Folds of my brain
Your image begins to interfere
I am a captive
And I have no strength to let go
I am , in this desperation, grow…
A fondness for your face
That always steals the show

I have no will to resist
I keep within
This burning hope that flames assist
A crowning glory
A maze aglow

Here within my *****
Warm and deep
I count my blessings
In my sleep
For sleep alone can
Make you stay
And so to this
I truly say
From the first moment
That I saw your exquisite face
Lips knew not and words did stray
Bound to wonder, this I pray
No man can be as beautiful
As the sun’s golden ray
Yet, somehow, you managed to be
Far more stunning than
A tranquil sunset in Manila Bay.

There are no words
But I have to utilize words,
For I don’t know any other way
To tell you what I see
Inside my mind
When my imaginations fly
Me in different directions,
Everywhere……

The order of the Universe
Is not an accident,
It is a design
Every molecule, every atom,
Every matter, anti matter and dark matter,
Every planet, moon, sun and star,
Every particle,
Has a purpose and a proper place
There is order even in chaos
For the Universe is God’s playground
And the scientists , His messengers
Helping us to understand as much
As we could, in our limited
Mental resources
The vastness and magnificence of it all…

Children of my heart,
You were once pieces of stars
Your forms today involved
Billions of years of
Revolutionary evolution
And so you belong, not only
Here on earth
Which is the place of your birth
But you are also of the stars
As God created you through
The harmony of His Universe…

Travel with me ,therefore,
And in our mind’s eyes
Let us walk gallantly through space
There, truly, we can trace our origins
For God’s face ,too, resides there…
In the stars…

Words can not describe but
Words are necessary
And they are flowing from
My lips now…
For all the beauty that I see and I feel
I see and I feel in you,
Thank God for children
And thank God,
For the Order of the Universe……

My  love,
I am so afraid,
That one day,
I will lose my head,
Over the cunning deception,
Everywhere.....
I made many bad decisions,
In my life,
That now cause me so much,
Pain and grief,
I feel I am alone,
Among the street smart people,
Leading me on,
Mostly without defenses....
Armed with trust and love,
I come out in the open,
With rose petal vision
In my heart...
You know, more than I,
The ways of this world..
And I come to you for solace
To ease the confusion of lies..
But where are you now,
My love...
I see you not though
Clearly you are near...
The mystery in you rises
To the surface
And all I can embrace
Are your deeply sonorous voice
And your words...
I know ,you too,have been,
lost in pain
We have to console each other
And shut off  the madness
Of our lives.
So tell me to fear not my love
Tell me to be not afraid
And I shall follow your lead
In a place where you and I
Can embrace in peace....
Knowing not the word goodbye
Knowing only the rainbows in the sky

For the least time
I held your stare
Traveling the distant nowhere
In the outer recesses of space
Brief moments of gaiety
Are but overused
Memories to be replayed
Silenced the night whose
Stillness can be heard
Loud and clear.

For the last time
I embrace the shadows
Hovering about you
Memorizing each trace
Of darkness
Each line and each
Hallow vision
Savoring the few minutes
Of private contact
With your negative image

For the last time,
I thought
I came so very close
To you
Advancing in inches
And inches so near
Conquering the barriers
Of fear
And demolishing the
Brick walls of time
Command now this life
That was lived
In the briefest of happiness

For the first time
Before the dust
Shall blot out
All memories of today
Let the past give way
And the future stay
If only to rectify mistakes
And restore your good name

But life goes on cruelly
And like a theater’s curtains
Must fall
On us all

So for the last time
I said my goodbyes
Remembering your stare
Out of nowhere
Remembering your shadows
And your pain
Never have I felt
Your presence more strongly
As I kissed your shadows to rest
For the very last time……

What is peace?
Reduced to ashes,
It is now synonymous
With chaos and violence
It is death and destruction
To one and to many

Where is peace??
Does it reside in the
Deserts of Arabia,
Is it in the cafes of Europe
Or the woods of America
Or the seas of Asia?

In this twisted age that
Spawned terror
Peace is an oxymoron
For peace can not exist
With out Love
And to live a life with out love
Is to have no understanding
Of compassion and respect

So now we shall  travel in
This vicious cycle
A merry-go-round to nowhere
And nothing..
Barefoot in mind we walk
Our hearts beating without cause
Without meaning

And if you ask me again
what or where or when
Is peace...
I shall look you in the eye
and tell you i don’t know
for i have never  seen
it in its true form
all i see are compromises,
and false propaganda
i shall cross the yellow line
and smother my mind
with the pillow of comfort
that I know nothing
i can no longer feel anything..
except force myself
to stop talking...
someone is pointing a gun
in my mouth

05 December, 2015

#jeanrojasforterror2015

The hour has come for us to sail
Away in the lonely sea
Fine memories replace the evident
And guilt is washed away by tears
I want to say a word that touches
Before I go to sleep
And raise a person to the level
Of the wind and the sky
To make forget one lonesome thought
Erase the fruitless years
I want to say a word that touches
The floor the earth expands
The minutes pulled the hours
Till short of time we stand
The brink is near
But, what ,the way…
Is closed today of mud….
I see the sun but shineth not
Nor rays- do they extend

Enclosed the lifeless breath
The clouds exhaled
And leaves the boat
On a standstill…

I want to say a word that touches
But words do rhymes deny
This pointless search
This mask of struggle
Have not touched a single soul
I touched today…

Verses out of rhyme
From prophets to poets
Out of line
Corridors of restless passages
Form this abode of passion
Of mine
In countless manifestations
Upon seeking representations
To salvage this predicted downfall
About to be genuinely fulfilled

What say you
To my fate in this
Displeasure?
Hiding the crimes
That people must censure
Getting a fix
And giving a trick
Being used like a workhorse
Before my staying power
Is over….

Can I make myself
Come to terms
With failures for fortune
Riding the crest
Of my oblivious popularity
Will they remember
Or can they see?
When white men
Would drag me
To the cell of my death?

I belong here, don’t I?
Like verses out of rhyme

I close my eyes
To nurture the *****
Of this solution
They must inject inside
Of me
To dissolve me
In the fading background
Like lingering shadows
That will never take shape
I brought my hands up
To touch my cheeks
I wipe the bitter tears
As I lay me down
To sleep…….

Bronze skin
drenched by the light
of the Portugal sun
Lines and countours
slowly shape a man
in his glorious splendour

youth and beauty
chiseled with fire
morning wonders
in the depth of his eyes
Speak they of golden
sensual tales
as their brown color
eagerly traverse the
waiting blue horizons

birds sing their songs
and trees sway in a dance
wild flowers loudly declare
the poetry of his form

Son of the Portugal sun
disperse all our woes
bring laughter sans tears
Ruler of love and
Conqueror of hearts
bathe us in seas
of quiet tranquility
and mesmerize into slumber
the moon up on high

A question within a question
a mystery unfolds
No answer forthcoming
no soul to be sold
to gods and to mortals
to nature and to space
a nest for all sweetness
in the palm of his hand

To share but a moment
in his arms softly lay
is to touch the shimmering light
of the bold Portugal sun!

My dearest Danny,
delicate young angel
with yellow hair..
sweet innocent child
that is not so innocent
redeem me,
from the ache that
gnaws through my bones

Where do you go?
when you want to feel safe?
Where do you hide?
to be invisible
and out of reach?
take me to your secret place
for I want to be there with you...

Life has not been kind
to you,
dearest Danny
experiences have aged
you far beyond your years
and yet you cope,
you recuperate from
the scars that blur
your identity
How soft you still are
how fragile,
not hardened nor embittered

How do you still go on?
standing up after every fall
Then falling again
Then standing up again.....
The bruises that covered your soul
have healed,
but at what price...

And yet,
here you are before me
blindingly beautiful
with a tainted innocence
and such a trusting heart
I miss that waywardness about you
I miss the weakness that
makes you unintentionally strong

Take me to your secret place,
Danny...
And heal me...
make me whole again....

when the time comes
that time is no more
and the union of body
to soul ,no longer a lore,
then heaven's door
is nearer the earth's floor
and stars align with planets
like the lines of a sonnet
And You shall be resurrected
with all Your glory ascended
upon the heavens, descended
here to fill us with rapture
our spirits in Your hands, capture

My God, My gracious Lord
we herald Your second coming
In triumph, Your face a-beaming
seeing You when trumpets sound
the judgment call, I ask
where will I be my Lord?
where will you take me?
for the love I feel
no words could ever make real
only my mind talks
and You understand
here I kneel
where you stand

My Lord
cleanse me of sins past
bring me to Your kingdom
at last....
for I have always known
the unknown
and love You from afar
I stake no claim
on reason or rhyme
I believe
without the benefit of sight
I don't know where it comes from
it is beyond my comprehension
So when You walk upon
this earth once more
take me in Your arms ,
forevermore...........
then time ceases to be
and You are all I see

Some souls are seeking
The kingdom that won’t come
To minds their eyes beseeching
The things that can not part
No longer weary
But fast fading forward
Some souls are seeking
The rest that has long gone

But what if a soul
Shall not want bearing
They lesson it is not learning
By wisdom failing
By knowledge misgiving
Into his inner depths
Do fathom the unthinkable

For want of  light
That which can not be sought
For riches scorned
The path that downhill brought
The kingdom bestowed him
A kingship forlorn
Like vultures waiting
For the lifeless flesh

In silent weather
In cold compost
His eyes are shut
His lips are tight
The people from above
In their weary nonchalance
Will never even know
This  poet’s anguish
The torment of his spirit
For pain unmeasured
For hurt ,undefined

Night time received this visitor
In blindfold rage
Sleep now this worn soul
In his forbidden lore.....

in the middle of the night
we said our goodbyes
among the smoke-filled rooms
across a wall-papered hall

- I am lonely -

knowing the pain that
comes from parting
a lost season
in a now loveless life
I do not want to bid you
goodbye
and kiss your cheek
with my aching mouth

misty eyes
that can't hold back
the tears
my shadow slumps
on an artificial wall

words escape me
I am empty now....

I did not want
to let you go
but my voice was
wandering in unknown
backstreets

never wanting to show
always putting up a show

i have lost that one chance
in a lifetime

we said our goodbyes
and I bid you farewell
with the cold formality
of a handshake
and a nagging feeling of
a sad and sorry state
that I could have done
something to keep you
but I let you go away
from me instead....

We find ourselves
in this unusual scenario
Neither in love
nor infatuated
We revel in this
Bizarre affair
That both delights
And consumes us
We are not close
In the strictest
Sense of the word
But we are closer
In thoughts and
In feelings
Though far apart
The distance is
No matter
Nothing will stop
Us in the games
We choose to play......
Words, actions,
Moans and sighs...
Like masks hiding
Our faces
In a grand pretense.......

For us there is no past tense
We exist for the purpose
Of our pleasure...
Present and future
Merge and are enmeshed
It cost us nothing
And we gain nothing
Except knowing each other
And hoping that someday...
Somehow...
The echoes of our voices
Bring us together in one
Place
One time....
And this time...
Play the game for real...

On their faces are three hands
altogether telling the hours,
minutes and seconds that pass by
amidst this all
are your smiling eyes
expressively inviting..

from where you are and
where i am.....,
it's just a stone's throw away
i look but not look
yet i see and i desire...

you belong to someone else
but no one can stop me
from dreaming....
and in the dark solitude
of my room
i say your name with a
thousand fluttering sighs

i imagine how tightly
your gentle but sturdy arms
would hold me

i visualize your wondrous kiss
that will linger on my lips
for days and days to come....

this fascination leaves me breathless....
but i take control,
and keep it contained...

- for i know i am alone
in my feelings-

and i have no way to tell you
unless you read my
passionate words...

that your being is already
tattooed technicolorly
in my mind

and all i want is to thank you
for making this tired, old heart
beat again.......

warm English eyes
a provocative smile,

Long limbs of fragile masculine beauty
touch my heart
and reach my mind
in depths of boundless measures

technicolor dreams
of sylvan delight
satin rains in sheets of
melancholy blue
whispers of lines
on a filtered silver screen
love know the actor
in a pious sensual sight
many ,many moods govern him
and many more have sought him
but illusions mask reality
and the truth just slips away
in private meditation
undisturbed

have i loved in substitution
knoweth not ,in ignorance have pledged
this mountain of emotions
this ever growing presence
out of control
yet slowly subsiding
in the noon of midnight
in the morning of evening

here i love without caution
loving an image with
a poet's imagination
loving his English eyes, his smile
and his sacred power to convey
in animated gestures
in artistry divine
his is the face my memory
would not abandon
for him are these words
and these words have become
his soul on my paper
his fire on my pen....

Soulful eyes
Riding on a
Gentle smile
The moon begets
An apostle of doom,
A child that flowers
The light of the sun
Was born for anguish
On a mountain of despair.....

To flee from the wrath
Of fortune
To shield the self
From destruction,
A feeble attempt
A wayward contempt,
What was begun
Can never be undone...

Dancer of desires
Bathe a giant wave
That commands the
Emotions of the sea
The winds announce
The coming of a star,
The hero, the victim
In one enormous heap,
Transforms into a man
Who shall become
The fulfilment
Of a mocking tragedy....

Dancer, dancer
Dance for us all
Show us the outline
Of your graceful figure
Before you go and embrace
The kiss of death
The world will never stop
At your funeral
But you shall be dancing
On your grave

And the tears
In your eyes
Will mean nothing
As the curtains close
On your final performance

Save me from this conflagration-
Strangers' desires make people
Do foolish things…
I want to fall in love
I always knew I want
To fall in love,
With you….

Capture me with your eyes
Make me dream of those lies
You are real
But you are not my reality
Yet, you spark rapture in my soul
I always knew I will love
Someone like you

From distant lands we both exist
Spaces can ****,
And so they say,
But images can thrill
And memories can fill,
your uncommonly beautiful face,
I kiss in my mind…
The sound of your voice
That deep, soothing
Masculine baritone,
Unforgettably instilled
In satin velvet
Benignly sensual
Rocking me forth to sleep,
In a slumber of
Unfulfilled fantasies
Unrequited realities
On my own…

I always dreamed I will
Love someone like you…

I heard a call
an echo towards the sun,
come forth my heart
thy wounds lay restless,
narrow seeds
upright among distorted rainbows
into darken storms do shroud
the forsaken road
alone and far away
a dream in death despair
the value of true love
the wisdom of its feel
has lost its touch
time's eager hands did block

I'll never know
the kiss of fever pitch
thy cheeks best stole
the song no lyric
ever wore

I am flying up to love
Soaring high upon the heavens
I can not fall into love
For love can not spiral
And tumble to the ground..
It moves upward to perfume
The air of it’s mist and magic
It lives to guide the stars in their
Twinkling warmth and brilliant glow..

Any definition of love
Will surely be met with
Utter failure
For love itself is its own definition
No measure of words can reason
Its existence into being
No science nor art can definitely declare
That love is this or love is that…
It is neither here or neither there…
But love fills the heart and feeds
The soul of beauty everlasting…,
Of peace that reigns in the bounty of nature…
A canticle of colors that can not be seen
But can be felt by the nakedness of the human
Vision…
Like the breathtaking display of the northern lights
That captures one’s imagination and attention…
A certain calm that possesses
A sort of liberation from the drudgery of this world…

So love only for love’s own sake
And do not equate love with material
Things or possessions..
For love indeed, can conquer,
If it conquers at all…
And there is nothing more that one needs
If one is to live
A happy and fulfilled life
Than  to love fully and truly and be truly and fully
Loved in return

magnificent warrior
weary king,
the day is closing
night birds no longer sing
your eyes begin to dispose
tears of wasted forlorn.....
silence is your weapon
the only companion that you seek

I don't know
what goes on in your mind
in the twilight of afternoon
but I see your movements
in slow motion
and the fluid grace
that accompanied your youth
..............like a shadow dancer

you were beautiful beyond belief
a troubadour of the gods
climbing each staircase
towards heaven
nearer to the sky of oblivion

in different languages
we say our pieces
in different moods
our moments have arrived
and now I am
thinking of you
and seeing you in a different view
like a stolen reality
in My sea of imaginations

tell me your tales
and break that code of silence
I know there is something
deeper in your heart
that matches....
the beauty of your face

let me sit with you
in this twilight of afternoon
let me touch your being
and drink from your lips
for in my soul I know
that it could be so exciting
with you and your stories
of long ago....

language of love......,
words that could brand the spirit
with tempest or surrender
spoken with lips of enticing hue
colors of life
that fly into hearts
language of love,
send my soul to light,
I beseech..........

Spanish tones of dreams
and romance
melting the ice
with the passion in his eyes
lover that claims
and lover that heals,
language of love.....
sing this melody......
that cradles my hunger
for a kiss........

these words spread wings
of their own.....
words that caress like hands
of wine and gold
letters that spell
of embraces so bold,
never to melt
the strength of desires

they sustain me in my
hours of self -pity
hurl me to worlds
I've never ever known
these words that my
forefathers spoke in their dignity
are the words
that haunt me endlessly

flowers will bloom
for eternity's sake
rivers will rise
in their journey so wise,
mountains will bend
valleys will sigh,
the beauty of nature
never will die
if lips must reply
let sentiments go by,
the language of love
is the language of life......

One glimpse and gone forever
never to see the face of day
one night together and
nothing more
one attempt to share each
others bodies,
for so long I have remembered
one glimpse of the inner room
above the sky
and that is all...
it closed before I could really see
that you and I are just
playthings in the wind
and the circumstances shall
forever rearrange....
what the first and the last
in chronological order
really means, sans deception
of eager perception
is that I shall never behold
for the second time
what the first glimpse had given me

        a little taste of ecstasy
        a little knowledge of the extreme
        and a random thought of
                                       what might have been.......

my soul is lost
when i hear
the sound of your name
like whispers in the sea
his echoes
compel the heavens to weave
its magic spell
i touch his face
and all the wonders
there i see
deliriously
i feel his lips
with a sweet delicious scent
of an intoxicating taste

in blind adoration
with feverish admiration
i speak his name
and i am spellbound
he opens for me
sights and sounds
i never knew existed

but my words precede me
so i can describe no more

this prince,
this angel
borne of the moscow winds
blessed and kissed
by the drops of crystal dew
in the fertile russian soil

my life has never been the same
since i heard the sound of your name

A basket of love
In colors of brilliant hues
Is what you bring
You are like home-
A soft warm bed,
A loaf of bread
Someone who lights
Up a room
With the words you speak
And your smile
That lingers long
After first it was seen...

This is who you are
Devoid of masquerade
You are as real
As a sunlit sky
Or a  moon’s
shadow on the sea
For it is hope
That you bring
To those whom
Hope has never seen
You are joy, personified
An angel with invisible wings...

I could say that the Lord
Could not have sent
A better messenger
To spread His words and sprinkle
His love all over...

Stand up and dance...
And make us laugh
For in this world today
There’s so much misery combined
But for one moment
All is well and as
It should be
When you are near
We lose all fears

Give us your basket of love
And let us shine with you
Stand up and dance
And we shall all dance with you...

I don’t write verses
to suit purposes
I don’t use words
To nail their rhymes
To fit a song
To fill a book
To foster riches
Or gain control

This massive universe
That I may never know
Is, to me….
The only force
That I can call a home
And just like those
Who lived here
Before me
So I must live
To die
And to give way……..

Thus, we see things
Pass before us
Creating, destroying
Those that surround us
Believing we’ll live forever
Believing our spirits
Return in different forms
Invisibly grotesque
To frighten the living
We’ve left
After we’ve lost this life
That we shall live
Only once……

All matters
Matter only
When our hearts
Learn to unravel the truth,
When we seek for love
And love only
For love itself,
Never to succumb
To the ravages of time
Never regretting
The passing of youth
Moving on
Without ever looking back
Surrendering all our joys
And pain
To the One being that made us
Never bothering to question
The other loads
Laid out before us
By time and space

I only write verses
I only sing songs
I never use them
As they never use me

I can fill no books
I can foster no riches
But I can love you
And love you so…..

That is all I can do
That is all I can say….

Cleveland, 1935......
the moon over Lake Erie
is drenched with crimson light
Peter, Peter, come.....to greet them
in their resting places of the night
fearless you are
and the strongest by far
redeem the butcher's dozen
from the claws of oblivion
unlike this unnamed monster,
you are not anonymous
not hiding in shadows
not nurturing the dark

there is war out there
and you are on the side of
truth and justice
dedicated to compassion
for those that were wronged and hurt
you stand as an example
to generations of your kind
a brave soldier
doing God's work
to protect the weak against
the strength of evil

there is a calm after
the storm
and tonight, I know I
will sleep soundly
for you are there
to catch my nightmare
before I begin to fall........

Blue sunrise,
Purple sunset
Our minds play
With colors in the sky
What we see is
Not always what is,
And then we cry
After the laughter
And the bliss…..

Your face, I have not seen
And yet your goodness
Comes clean
Through distances and time
Your soul burst forth
Like the light of the sun
Your heart of gold
Will never grow old
For you, these lines
Do virtues find…….

Values never die
Compassion runs high
It lives in you,
In your childlike mind
Always the innocent,
Unaware of the sorrows
Of this world
Your smile is sweet enough
To open up a flower’s petals…

Those who fail to see the sunrise
Turn around to face the sunset
Those who leave for fear
That they won’t understand
Are the real lost causes

You are nature’s love child
Cradled by the blue sunrise
Born out of a rose’s bloom
In the arms of the windy clouds
You will stay,
Never to stray,
Never in pain
Your laughter flows
With the gentle rain….

Truly blessed you are,
No sin can ever mar
Your beauty that I love
Here and from afar
Give me the honor
Of  knowing your name
To me it is more important
Than fortune or fame

Morning is in the eyes of
Those who seek
The waves that lap
To meet the cheek
Death that calls us
Soon and all
Evening bends the will
That has to fall….

Enter life, in essence
Naked to the world
Exit life, as naked as the
Day of our births
Sleep that we have no choice
But to partake
Must in time and place
Break up things
We must forsake

Moving now
As moving we create
Swaying with the breeze
That will never cease
How moments treasured
Just go by,
In a wink,
In a flash,
And forever flying high

Think in my mind
Of you
When you were here
Silently, the tears have fallen
With the fears
Friends we were and
Friends we’ll always stay
In clouds of smoke
I do begin to pray

I see you as a bird
I see you as a flower
No longer man
Your spirit blooms
In splendor
Where you are
Is where God dwells
And where we’ll all be
Someday……

I take your hand
You view my soul
And you take off
On the clouds
In the skies
As morning blends
With the coming evening
I say
Goodnight my friend

Sweet are the thoughts
That you have left me
While you lived
We’ll meet there somehow
And somewhere
We’ll take off together
Soaring the blue and endless heavens….
You were there first
And I’ll be there next……..