All I could do is believe
That I could achieve and accomplish anything
It drained me with every step
I lost my way
My life changed
I couldn't do this anymore
I needed parafillia to survive
It became too hard too live
To easy to want to take my life
As the thought came
The smile walked away
But it changed the playing field
I had been alive but never lived
If I jumped off a bridge
Or ran into a speeding car
As the thought took over my mind
It made me see,
how the life of people would be better without me
as I cried everyday till my tearduct dried up ;
as I woke up each day
I wished I had died the night before ,
just you wait ,
as I thought that way I started feeling as a burden more and more and more
I reached into my innermost self
as I entered it was dark
then I saw a little light ,
I moved toward the light
,it was so dark that you could cut the darkness with a knife ,          
  I started searching for my soul as I reached
where it should be it was gone ,
I was a ship without a captain
I went ahead to find my heart ,
the closer I got I could hear the heartbeat
I smiled saying at least I have a heart
when I went into my heart all I could see was a stereo playing the heartbeat sound,
it was also empty,
it turns out I am an abomination ,
I was dead but thought I was alive
my soul and heart left without saying a word ;
how could they hate me so
as I fell to the ground and lost what little sanity I had left
all I could think of was oh the insanity
Oh the beautiful insanity

If there was a story in the beginning
I am the storyteller
I would want to show you
What I have seen ,
It all start with a Nubian princess with her brown eyes and a voice that will bring the gods to shame
If for anything,it was the proudest moment of my life
She had a smile that would send a jolt of electrifying passion down your spine
And when she speaks to you,your knees will weaken
She became my object of obsession
But I never existed in her orbit
All I could do was watch
If she spoke to me
Nothing would matter
nothing matters
when she's here
I released endorphins just by been in her mere presence
I was addicted to her
If I could wish for just a thing
I would want her to notice me
I would want her to love me
All I can do is watch
As this work of art
Glimmers and glows
As all I do is wish
My heart wishes the same
All the heart of an addict can do is want more
would my addiction ever be quelled

It was never easy
It was never hard
It was never white
It was never black
Nothing is as it seems
The truth is only true ,as long as you believe
And a lie could be the truth
You would rather not exist here
If anything was
It could not be
But could it be ?
If it wasn't
Then it could be
But then a mad man rambles
And nothing is ever a lie
It's just the truth told differently
No one could see
What is when they cannot be
I have always seen
But never been a part if
I was among but never belonged
It could have been
Yet it never was
I was a boy
Now a man
Yet the difference is I am never here
I could never belong
Because I am a cell
Not just any cell
I am nothing and will cease to be
Before I do I will try to live
If I could I will live

There was a time
Where I was nothing
I was no one
I was faceless
I had no life
I did not exist
I was only a figment of people's imagination
Yet I yearned to exist
No one knew my name
But they told my story
As it got corrupted over the years
I was forgotten
And the devil gave me a deal
Become a monster
So you make them regret forgetting you
I took the deal and became a nightmare
An abomination that mustn't be named
When am named
I materialise in form of their darkest fears
And i only let one survive
So my name lives one
they can't forget
When they mention my name
The sky turns black as my world merges with theirs and the last thing they hear is
Snip,Snip,Snip
As their heads rolled off

It was the truth
That wasn't to be said
The truth not to be believed
Many men have killed
Many have been killed
many more will ****
For the truth
Yet who knows the truth
Was it real ?
Was it fiction?
It was just surreal
Could it have been ?
If the truth Was from the books
Then the men who read it lie
And the man who listens insane
Yet everyone needs to belong
Needs to believe
And so they take in everything
And take out nothing
They give their lives
For a cause
They never understood
And when confronted
They bare their harmless fangs
Because they see the "Truth"
And fight in disbelief
As insanity sets in
The "Truth" becomes true
Then all men know insanity is second nature to all

She was my everything
She was my beginning
She never broke me down
She was the backbone I needed
Yet she wasn't mine
I hear her complain about him
She was mistreated
She believed she deserved it
I was here , I wouldn't dream of harming her
I wanted to see her smile
The smile that will make the goddess Athena jealous
She wasn't perfect
Yet she was perfect
Her mind was beautiful
And her beauty beyond comparison
Her scars showed how strong she was
Yet she never knew , I could never say it
I was a coward
The way she looked at me
Told me she knew
But she wanted me as a friend
I would jump from the edge of the world to see her smile
She felt she didn't deserve me
Because she wasn't the best
She was wrong
She was the best
And I lost her forever
When she took her life
Because of him
I cried but felt relieved
She would never feel pain again
As she died with a smile on her face

There was never a lie
There couldn't have been
I was there and I felt it
I saw the Nubian goddess
With shape like an hourglass
And breast like two hills
It is fertile like the
Soil of the  Nile
And when she smiled
Nothing mattered
It could all be
She was there ,she loved me
Yet it never happened
It was the beginning
Of the end
The end started
But the beginning ended
If all I could do was be a man
I never felt like one
It was the night where
I was meant to be In pain
meant to be heartless
It could never have been
But when her mouth opened
I saw the venomous fangs
And the forked tongue
Whatever she said was sweet
As honey
But as harmful as tar
I was in love
But she killed me
She was killing me
I had discovered,I was already dead
It could never have been
She was the best for me
But the poison that will take my soul
I knew I had to leave
As I took my bag
And gave her one last hug
As the bag dropped
And the door closed
As I slumped
She was poison
Yet she was my poison
I have died a thousand times by her hands
But I don't want to live without her

I am gonna tell a story
A story so old it would
Be as old as the world itself
This was a time
When the world was at peace
And there lived a lady whose
Smile could melt the hardest heart
She was so beautiful
Yet she didn't know
She had a crest on her chest
She was a princess
I thought
If she isn't then it's the people's loss
I couldn't look away
I had to speak to her
But I was lost of words
I stood there just staring and smiling
And then she spoke
she was friendly
I was lost but didn't know
There was nothing that she did
That didn't look perfect
I was so scared
I trembled
If I made a friend
Would I lose a lover
She was just perfect
Yet I only saw what I could
There was never a better soul
If the world had ended
It would have been alright
Yes I was a kid
I didn't know what I felt
And didn't know how to explain it
I thought it to be infactuations
And I let it go
She matured like fine wine
She was more of a princess then
And now she's a queen
Who deserves everything
she has everything
But she still doesn't know
Who she really is
She is everything
Without her there is nothing
She would put her mates to shame
with that smile on her face
She would take over the world
it would be a better place
There has never been a much better person I know
and i won't have it any other way
I am happy I know her
And am glad I do
And each time just to see that smile ,I would turn the world upside down
Just to see her smile.

the time has been foretold
the hearts have been broken
they all know what should be seen
they all know what should be done
yet no one believes in what they can do
i wait to be fed
i wait to be cloth
i do not move to build
the truth is the truth
unless we say its not
Or are we all liars ?
you came up to me and i broke you
you came up to me and you destroyed me
yet we all have to smile like we are whole
that makes us all insane
does that mean i am mad
my world has ended
my life has begun
and i yearn for the truth
yet i have been described as the mad man
do i really need to belong
or do i need to eat the truth
or feed you the truth
no it has ended because there never was
and there never will be
all else has failed as i am now unknown
Who am I?
i am the unknown
cause i never existed
Or did I ?
i can never know
i don’t remember
i do not exist
Or do I?

there was a place
where everything was peaceful
and the world was beautiful
yet, i never felt at peace
and i decided to leave
this place so long ago
and now i am here
yet , i am not happy
or satisfied
my life has never been more bleak
and then i saw her
with eyes that bore through my soul
there and then i had a purpose
before she smiled
i was in love
in love with her
but she was so far away
she would never be mine
but my life worth living
just to see her smile
she was perfect
i guess
she is everything
but did she notice me
or was i a speck of nothing ?
i have but one wish
let my word be my bond
let my heart speak on my behalf
and the world listen as i speak
i want to be iota
of everything that is nice and perfect
if i could i would be
but then am i yet there ?
i want to be the perfect description
of everything i believe
in that my life and it could be
PERFECT.