Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
282 · Dec 2017
Perfect
jataud Dec 2017
there was a place
where everything was peaceful
and the world was beautiful
yet, i never felt at peace
and i decided to leave
this place so long ago
and now i am here
yet , i am not happy
or satisfied
my life has never been more bleak
and then i saw her
with eyes that bore through my soul
there and then i had a purpose
before she smiled
i was in love
in love with her
but she was so far away
she would never be mine
but my life worth living
just to see her smile
she was perfect
i guess
she is everything
but did she notice me
or was i a speck of nothing ?
i have but one wish
let my word be my bond
let my heart speak on my behalf
and the world listen as i speak
i want to be iota
of everything that is nice and perfect
if i could i would be
but then am i yet there ?
i want to be the perfect description
of everything i believe
in that my life and it could be
PERFECT.
224 · Feb 2017
who am i ?
jataud Feb 2017
My life never stops
My dreams never end
My nightmares are real
I could only see the darkness
But i had no eyes
I dine with death
He never wants me to die
He could ****
He could never dream
His soul was gone
His heart hollow
He could never believe
It was all a dream
But then i woke up
And the nightmare continued
If only he lived
If only he thought
I was dead
He would never have been there
He was my friend
Yet we spoke
Nothing but screams
The hell was real
The pain was real
But my soul never existed
If only they knew
I wasnt alive
Am a legend
Stories been told by the undead
To scare their kids
No one knows my name
No one knows me
My name is Erobus
I am darkness
I am nothing
And everything
219 · Jan 2018
what makes a man ?
jataud Jan 2018
I do not speak because I am bored,
I don't speak because I want to listen,
I want to get to know the depths of ur soul,
I want to immerse myself and understand,
What makes you,
I can't seem to speak up
Not because I see u as below me
But because you intrigue me,
You think I hate those little things u do
Yet they make me love you more
I am nothing but emotions
You are everything,
Yet I can't bear to tell you
Because when I see the soul
It doesn't just show me who you are
But what you are
You cannot hide your true self
Your soul knows and it will tell me
Yet I still know that you are more than that
What makes a man
The question can't be spoken
Or answered
It can only be felt
A man is what he feels
A man is nothing more than
A soul that wants to be accepted
Yet still be different
A man is everything and yet nothing
A man is love
Love makes the man
Hate builds the man
Sadness comforts the man
A man is all things that be and not be
198 · Jan 2018
my object of obsession
jataud Jan 2018
If there was a story in the beginning
I am the storyteller
I would want to show you
What I have seen ,
It all start with a Nubian princess with her brown eyes and a voice that will bring the gods to shame
If for anything,it was the proudest moment of my life
She had a smile that would send a jolt of electrifying passion down your spine
And when she speaks to you,your knees will weaken
She became my object of obsession
But I never existed in her orbit
All I could do was watch
If she spoke to me
Nothing would matter
nothing matters
when she's here
I released endorphins just by been in her mere presence
I was addicted to her
If I could wish for just a thing
I would want her to notice me
I would want her to love me
All I can do is watch
As this work of art
Glimmers and glows
As all I do is wish
My heart wishes the same
All the heart of an addict can do is want more
would my addiction ever be quelled
175 · Dec 2017
WHO AM I ?
jataud Dec 2017
could i be a king ?
could i be a god ?
if i could be all things
then i am nothing
there comes a time when been nothing
is better than been all things
its only when you have
lost all things
then will  you know what value is
if i knew from the start i would know
from the start
i would have hungered for nothing
so i will gain
what i didn't know i needed
rather than get all things i want
and lose all things i need
or am i crazy ?
tee hee hee
oh am i ?
161 · Jan 2018
mine
jataud Jan 2018
You have been a friend ,
You have been a sister,
You have been a confidant ,
You were a backbone when mine failed,
You have been family ,
It was never easy been my friend,
Nor was it a walk in the park,
You still held a smile on your face
And that smile made the difference,
In my darkest hours ,
If i heard your voice , i would be alright ,
I was never a good friend hardly checked up on you
Last to know when something happens i  your life good or bad ,
I always know too late ,
Yet you never ignored me once,
In my times of need you ; you were my strength ,
Yet i never ever thanked you ,
Yet i never gave you what you deserve ,
I loved you for a long time ,
And i will love you for a longer period,
I was never the best with words ,
But you the best thing that ever happened to me,
And i will never forget to cherish you,
You will always have a place in my heart,
A permanent spot ,
And it would always be available even after a millions years,
You are my everything.
#friendshipforever
157 · Dec 2017
who would save me ?
jataud Dec 2017
if man is an island
then the whole world is an ocean
if i was a fish
then everyone is a shark
i have dreamt of being able
but never capable
all i could do is watch my world crumble
as if i was a pebble
that just watches
all of its home crumble
or am i that fly perched
on the wall watching with my eyes
as everyone swats at me
could i be this hated?
what have i done ?
all i do is what i was created for
is it my fault ?
whose fault is it then?
whose fault ?
i am asking
is it yours or your?
is it mine ?
i never knew what it meant
all i could do is escape
but who would take me ?
who would save me?
150 · Jan 2018
a "madman" rambles
jataud Jan 2018
It was never easy
It was never hard
It was never white
It was never black
Nothing is as it seems
The truth is only true ,as long as you believe
And a lie could be the truth
You would rather not exist here
If anything was
It could not be
But could it be ?
If it wasn't
Then it could be
But then a mad man rambles
And nothing is ever a lie
It's just the truth told differently
No one could see
What is when they cannot be
I have always seen
But never been a part if
I was among but never belonged
It could have been
Yet it never was
I was a boy
Now a man
Yet the difference is I am never here
I could never belong
Because I am a cell
Not just any cell
I am nothing and will cease to be
Before I do I will try to live
If I could I will live
148 · Jan 2018
my insanity
jataud Jan 2018
All I could do is believe
That I could achieve and accomplish anything
It drained me with every step
I lost my way
My life changed
I couldn't do this anymore
I needed parafillia to survive
It became too hard too live
To easy to want to take my life
As the thought came
The smile walked away
But it changed the playing field
I had been alive but never lived
If I jumped off a bridge
Or ran into a speeding car
As the thought took over my mind
It made me see,
how the life of people would be better without me
as I cried everyday till my tearduct dried up ;
as I woke up each day
I wished I had died the night before ,
just you wait ,
as I thought that way I started feeling as a burden more and more and more
I reached into my innermost self
as I entered it was dark
then I saw a little light ,
I moved toward the light
,it was so dark that you could cut the darkness with a knife ,          
  I started searching for my soul as I reached
where it should be it was gone ,
I was a ship without a captain
I went ahead to find my heart ,
the closer I got I could hear the heartbeat
I smiled saying at least I have a heart
when I went into my heart all I could see was a stereo playing the heartbeat sound,
it was also empty,
it turns out I am an abomination ,
I was dead but thought I was alive
my soul and heart left without saying a word ;
how could they hate me so
as I fell to the ground and lost what little sanity I had left
all I could think of was oh the insanity
Oh the beautiful insanity
147 · Feb 2017
Untitled
jataud Feb 2017
if all i could do is breathe then i rather die
if all i could see is the sky i rather be blind
if all i could do was walk i rather be lame
all everyone does is complain
no one says thank you for the little they have  
or for the strength they have
but i am no better
i do the same
my eyes keep bleeding from
comparing my life with others
but it never changes
i take the grubs am given
complain when i am home
its always the same thing
day after day
but i would never speak up
i want to be strong
but my heart betrays me
my body weakens and never supports me
i am a visitor in my host
i bear its identity but it never knows mine
i could write an encyclopedia on my host
but i am still a stranger to myself
who am i ?
when does my journey end ?
what is my purpose /
i am a robot with no programmes
i am scrap metal that was built together but not completed
my life is an error code
all i am
is a blip
i do not exist
i am nothing
if i fell into a never ending replay
my life would be better than it is
if i went to hell my life would be better than it is
if i died i will be the
happiest man alive
death evades me
it can't touch my flaws
all i am is flaws
i couldn't live
i do not understand the concept
i don know what love is
i don't feel anything
i am nothing but scrap i am useless
141 · Jan 2018
the faceless
jataud Jan 2018
There was a time
Where I was nothing
I was no one
I was faceless
I had no life
I did not exist
I was only a figment of people's imagination
Yet I yearned to exist
No one knew my name
But they told my story
As it got corrupted over the years
I was forgotten
And the devil gave me a deal
Become a monster
So you make them regret forgetting you
I took the deal and became a nightmare
An abomination that mustn't be named
When am named
I materialise in form of their darkest fears
And i only let one survive
So my name lives one
they can't forget
When they mention my name
The sky turns black as my world merges with theirs and the last thing they hear is
Snip,Snip,Snip
As their heads rolled off
141 · Feb 2017
dreams
jataud Feb 2017
My world is a lie
My dreams dont exist
My tongue loves to sleep
My eyes always sleeps
Never again will i dream
Why should i ?
No one cares
Not even my dream does
But then i saw the night sky
In there was a reason in itself
The darkness so thick it took all my problems away
But never again will i want to see the sun
Why should i ?
It shows all my flaws
But never my good sides
My dream ended
My life ended
My soul longs to hold
But at the end who will it hold?
I am in love with the sadness
It loves me too much
Yet i strive
And when i hear the sky talk to me
It was love that would never end but the daytime came
133 · Jan 2018
the unknown lover
jataud Jan 2018
There was never a lie
There couldn't have been
I was there and I felt it
I saw the Nubian goddess
With shape like an hourglass
And breast like two hills
It is fertile like the
Soil of the  Nile
And when she smiled
Nothing mattered
It could all be
She was there ,she loved me
Yet it never happened
It was the beginning
Of the end
The end started
But the beginning ended
If all I could do was be a man
I never felt like one
It was the night where
I was meant to be In pain
meant to be heartless
It could never have been
But when her mouth opened
I saw the venomous fangs
And the forked tongue
Whatever she said was sweet
As honey
But as harmful as tar
I was in love
But she killed me
She was killing me
I had discovered,I was already dead
It could never have been
She was the best for me
But the poison that will take my soul
I knew I had to leave
As I took my bag
And gave her one last hug
As the bag dropped
And the door closed
As I slumped
She was poison
Yet she was my poison
I have died a thousand times by her hands
But I don't want to live without her
131 · Jan 2018
"TRUTH"
jataud Jan 2018
It was the truth
That wasn't to be said
The truth not to be believed
Many men have killed
Many have been killed
many more will ****
For the truth
Yet who knows the truth
Was it real ?
Was it fiction?
It was just surreal
Could it have been ?
If the truth Was from the books
Then the men who read it lie
And the man who listens insane
Yet everyone needs to belong
Needs to believe
And so they take in everything
And take out nothing
They give their lives
For a cause
They never understood
And when confronted
They bare their harmless fangs
Because they see the "Truth"
And fight in disbelief
As insanity sets in
The "Truth" becomes true
Then all men know insanity is second nature to all
127 · Jan 2018
lost connections
jataud Jan 2018
I saw you walking down the road ;
And i knew I wanted you;
I didn't know you , yet I felt I had known you for ages;
I needed to talk with you ;
I needed to hear your voice ;
I wanted time to be still;
I wanted to hold you in my arms;
Yet you were a stranger , I already knew
I  want to be in your presence
I loved you long before I met you ;
Now my heart cries out ;
It misses You; it cries for you;
To hear your voice one more time ;
To stay with you forever;
I won't rest until I see you again ;
Until then I have something to live for;
I Want to live for you ;
And i hope you feel the same ;
You are my missing piece ;
You complete me ;
And i know that now ;
I wish you will feel the same ;
You are the ying to my yang;
And i hope I will be able to ;
Complete you too ;
I beg nature to make you cross my path again;
And this time I won't let you go forever
for this time i will make you mine.
113 · Jan 2018
ALL FOR YOU
jataud Jan 2018
I am gonna tell a story
A story so old it would
Be as old as the world itself
This was a time
When the world was at peace
And there lived a lady whose
Smile could melt the hardest heart
She was so beautiful
Yet she didn't know
She had a crest on her chest
She was a princess
I thought
If she isn't then it's the people's loss
I couldn't look away
I had to speak to her
But I was lost of words
I stood there just staring and smiling
And then she spoke
she was friendly
I was lost but didn't know
There was nothing that she did
That didn't look perfect
I was so scared
I trembled
If I made a friend
Would I lose a lover
She was just perfect
Yet I only saw what I could
There was never a better soul
If the world had ended
It would have been alright
Yes I was a kid
I didn't know what I felt
And didn't know how to explain it
I thought it to be infactuations
And I let it go
She matured like fine wine
She was more of a princess then
And now she's a queen
Who deserves everything
she has everything
But she still doesn't know
Who she really is
She is everything
Without her there is nothing
She would put her mates to shame
with that smile on her face
She would take over the world
it would be a better place
There has never been a much better person I know
and i won't have it any other way
I am happy I know her
And am glad I do
And each time just to see that smile ,I would turn the world upside down
Just to see her smile.
107 · Jan 2018
take my hand
jataud Jan 2018
She was my everything
She was my beginning
She never broke me down
She was the backbone I needed
Yet she wasn't mine
I hear her complain about him
She was mistreated
She believed she deserved it
I was here , I wouldn't dream of harming her
I wanted to see her smile
The smile that will make the goddess Athena jealous
She wasn't perfect
Yet she was perfect
Her mind was beautiful
And her beauty beyond comparison
Her scars showed how strong she was
Yet she never knew , I could never say it
I was a coward
The way she looked at me
Told me she knew
But she wanted me as a friend
I would jump from the edge of the world to see her smile
She felt she didn't deserve me
Because she wasn't the best
She was wrong
She was the best
And I lost her forever
When she took her life
Because of him
I cried but felt relieved
She would never feel pain again
As she died with a smile on her face
105 · Jan 2018
suicidal love
jataud Jan 2018
I was beginning to think i mattered
I began to feel i mattered
Yet nothing told me otherwise
I was in love
Or i believed to be in love
She told a different story
Her touch would make me sing  beautiful symphonies
Which i  always got lost in
And yet i never got enough
I began to understand what i saw
As she walked up to me
And pushed me on the bed
And then she came ontop of me
As she kissed my lips  humming a beautiful song
She looked me in my eyes and said
The words i always wanted to hear
That she loves me and wont live without me
And she went back to kissing me as i cried tears of joy; i never wanted this moment to end and then i heard a bang
My eyes opened , i was dreaming
I was alone in my room
And i looked into my phone
And not even one missed call
I have had enough ; i jumped out of my window
As i was falling i saw her entering my house
As i hit the floor and my blood was spilling
As i lost consciousness she whispered i love you ; it was too late , and then the lights went out.
82 · Jan 2018
THE UNANSWERED
jataud Jan 2018
the time has been foretold
the hearts have been broken
they all know what should be seen
they all know what should be done
yet no one believes in what they can do
i wait to be fed
i wait to be cloth
i do not move to build
the truth is the truth
unless we say its not
Or are we all liars ?
you came up to me and i broke you
you came up to me and you destroyed me
yet we all have to smile like we are whole
that makes us all insane
does that mean i am mad
my world has ended
my life has begun
and i yearn for the truth
yet i have been described as the mad man
do i really need to belong
or do i need to eat the truth
or feed you the truth
no it has ended because there never was
and there never will be
all else has failed as i am now unknown
Who am I?
i am the unknown
cause i never existed
Or did I ?
i can never know
i don’t remember
i do not exist
Or do I?

— The End —