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jataud Jan 2018
I do not speak because I am bored,
I don't speak because I want to listen,
I want to get to know the depths of ur soul,
I want to immerse myself and understand,
What makes you,
I can't seem to speak up
Not because I see u as below me
But because you intrigue me,
You think I hate those little things u do
Yet they make me love you more
I am nothing but emotions
You are everything,
Yet I can't bear to tell you
Because when I see the soul
It doesn't just show me who you are
But what you are
You cannot hide your true self
Your soul knows and it will tell me
Yet I still know that you are more than that
What makes a man
The question can't be spoken
Or answered
It can only be felt
A man is what he feels
A man is nothing more than
A soul that wants to be accepted
Yet still be different
A man is everything and yet nothing
A man is love
Love makes the man
Hate builds the man
Sadness comforts the man
A man is all things that be and not be
jataud Jan 2018
You have been a friend ,
You have been a sister,
You have been a confidant ,
You were a backbone when mine failed,
You have been family ,
It was never easy been my friend,
Nor was it a walk in the park,
You still held a smile on your face
And that smile made the difference,
In my darkest hours ,
If i heard your voice , i would be alright ,
I was never a good friend hardly checked up on you
Last to know when something happens i  your life good or bad ,
I always know too late ,
Yet you never ignored me once,
In my times of need you ; you were my strength ,
Yet i never ever thanked you ,
Yet i never gave you what you deserve ,
I loved you for a long time ,
And i will love you for a longer period,
I was never the best with words ,
But you the best thing that ever happened to me,
And i will never forget to cherish you,
You will always have a place in my heart,
A permanent spot ,
And it would always be available even after a millions years,
You are my everything.
jataud Jan 2018
All I could do is believe
That I could achieve and accomplish anything
It drained me with every step
I lost my way
My life changed
I couldn't do this anymore
I needed parafillia to survive
It became too hard too live
To easy to want to take my life
As the thought came
The smile walked away
But it changed the playing field
I had been alive but never lived
If I jumped off a bridge
Or ran into a speeding car
As the thought took over my mind
It made me see,
how the life of people would be better without me
as I cried everyday till my tearduct dried up ;
as I woke up each day
I wished I had died the night before ,
just you wait ,
as I thought that way I started feeling as a burden more and more and more
I reached into my innermost self
as I entered it was dark
then I saw a little light ,
I moved toward the light
,it was so dark that you could cut the darkness with a knife ,          
  I started searching for my soul as I reached
where it should be it was gone ,
I was a ship without a captain
I went ahead to find my heart ,
the closer I got I could hear the heartbeat
I smiled saying at least I have a heart
when I went into my heart all I could see was a stereo playing the heartbeat sound,
it was also empty,
it turns out I am an abomination ,
I was dead but thought I was alive
my soul and heart left without saying a word ;
how could they hate me so
as I fell to the ground and lost what little sanity I had left
all I could think of was oh the insanity
Oh the beautiful insanity
jataud Jan 2018
If there was a story in the beginning
I am the storyteller
I would want to show you
What I have seen ,
It all start with a Nubian princess with her brown eyes and a voice that will bring the gods to shame
If for anything,it was the proudest moment of my life
She had a smile that would send a jolt of electrifying passion down your spine
And when she speaks to you,your knees will weaken
She became my object of obsession
But I never existed in her orbit
All I could do was watch
If she spoke to me
Nothing would matter
nothing matters
when she's here
I released endorphins just by been in her mere presence
I was addicted to her
If I could wish for just a thing
I would want her to notice me
I would want her to love me
All I can do is watch
As this work of art
Glimmers and glows
As all I do is wish
My heart wishes the same
All the heart of an addict can do is want more
would my addiction ever be quelled
jataud Jan 2018
It was never easy
It was never hard
It was never white
It was never black
Nothing is as it seems
The truth is only true ,as long as you believe
And a lie could be the truth
You would rather not exist here
If anything was
It could not be
But could it be ?
If it wasn't
Then it could be
But then a mad man rambles
And nothing is ever a lie
It's just the truth told differently
No one could see
What is when they cannot be
I have always seen
But never been a part if
I was among but never belonged
It could have been
Yet it never was
I was a boy
Now a man
Yet the difference is I am never here
I could never belong
Because I am a cell
Not just any cell
I am nothing and will cease to be
Before I do I will try to live
If I could I will live
jataud Jan 2018
There was a time
Where I was nothing
I was no one
I was faceless
I had no life
I did not exist
I was only a figment of people's imagination
Yet I yearned to exist
No one knew my name
But they told my story
As it got corrupted over the years
I was forgotten
And the devil gave me a deal
Become a monster
So you make them regret forgetting you
I took the deal and became a nightmare
An abomination that mustn't be named
When am named
I materialise in form of their darkest fears
And i only let one survive
So my name lives one
they can't forget
When they mention my name
The sky turns black as my world merges with theirs and the last thing they hear is
As their heads rolled off
jataud Jan 2018
It was the truth
That wasn't to be said
The truth not to be believed
Many men have killed
Many have been killed
many more will ****
For the truth
Yet who knows the truth
Was it real ?
Was it fiction?
It was just surreal
Could it have been ?
If the truth Was from the books
Then the men who read it lie
And the man who listens insane
Yet everyone needs to belong
Needs to believe
And so they take in everything
And take out nothing
They give their lives
For a cause
They never understood
And when confronted
They bare their harmless fangs
Because they see the "Truth"
And fight in disbelief
As insanity sets in
The "Truth" becomes true
Then all men know insanity is second nature to all
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