I want to be better
Not mad or in anger.
Not giving pique to
Fellow strangers. Not
Giving self the world's
Own pleasures. Not being
Selfish in others letters.
Not being abundant in
Thoughts of me. Thinking
Not on tommorrow
But eternity.
God help me
Be the me
You created me
To be. I'm a
Human who
Has flaws
Mistakes
Have felt
Distrust
Done the
Heartbrakes.
I am ashamed
Of my past
Though want
To move ahead to the
Future and present.
I'm just a transgressor
Trying to overcome the
Darkened essence.
I am not a saint
I'm humbly a peasant.
Meaning poor in my actions.
But those shall change
No longer do I want
To be estranged from
Dios mío. I want to
Give him all
This is me
This is real.

my son is a better version of me

i easily break
he rides storms smilingly

i crumble in a crisis
he handles stoically

my emotions play loud on face
he hides it handsomely

i'm doubtful of exploring
he ventures courageously

i speculate on life too much
he bothers not seriously

she asks him
do you believe

in magic?

in ghosts?

in angels?

and he thinks
he does

he'd rather talk about
how soft she is
and how lonely
he's been

he doesn't understand
the magnetism
that draws him
toward her

he doesn't understand
the poetry
that happens
in confused conversations

he doesn't understand
walls

or conflict
that advances and withdraws
with no warning

he can't see her blue skies
and doesn't know
that they bring real tears
that fade when
the rain comes

these things almost never
end well

maybe she should have asked
do you believe in me?

A shout in the void, a light in a dark place
More elusive than time, more vast than space
Deeper than the thousands of leagues, past the ocean floor
Taller than the steps that lead to heaven's door
Extraordinary I shall be in any shape or form
From the pages of time shall my name never be torn
Wether that be in the hearts of millions or just one
I will be something great before it's all said and done
Before my name is called and my earthly light burns out
I must be something, do something, know something that stands out
It could be the secrets of the universe or to know the embrace of true love
I seek all that lay beyond the imagined, past what you could ever think of
To have my breath taken away, stolen by all that is great
To have a lifetimes of such moments is a fate I'll forever chase

I want to sleep but these creeping thoughts keep breaching the security of my inner peace
I want to think positive and deposit these utterly exhaustive thoughts of worry someplace else
Onto the page I lock them away to stay out of my space and only on the page for someone else
To see
To read
To agree
Even if that person is only me
At least those negative intrusive thoughts won't be so bothering
No longer can they take up such precious space
Stronger I will be

I long  to have tons of crazed fans, or just one for a lifetime
To be with neither would lead me out of my right mind
Trapped in the western mentality to always be number one
Fighting the overwhelming need to just be Someone
Struggling to prove daddy wrong by showing I am worth it
Trying to find someone that believes who I am is perfect
If I can't that must mean all those awful things are true
That everyone must have daddy's same view
I need a number one fan, or thousands that claim to be
To be alone forever would be the death of me