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273 · May 2018
Good Energy
It's sure hell when your down
Everything seems so hard to do
Life seems unbearable
You just want to curl up in a ball
On your bed and sleep the day away
It doesn't even matter if it's nice outside
Cause it's not nice in your head
Getting out of that funk is even harder
Time seems like it stands still
But just putting one foot in front of the other
And hope that the next day will be better
Believing in a higher power
That will bring you through difficulties helps
It makes sense in a world full of hate
Believing in kindness when people aren't kind
Just feeling that good energy flowing in
Protect the heart from confusion and chaos
272 · Jan 2017
Spirit
There wasn't much more to say

I had to go no matter what

You couldn't make a decision

You wanted everything to remain the same

But my heart had to leave

Because there was no way of killing my spirit

I had to soar above and beyond

Away from all of the chaos
272 · Mar 2015
Heart Of Justice
Seeing so much in life
Has me wondering
It has passed the twilight
And reached the pit of my soul

I sit pondering
And try to find
An example of mystery
To listen to the heartbeat
Of society and reach out
Unselfishly...

Why do I even bother?
What is the hold up?

I turn away from the flames
Look into the heart of justice
If there be any love out there
May it find this black heart of mine
Something is taken hold of me
An evil I don't want to let in
But it is here nonetheless
I want to hide from the darkness
I don't want to act on my thoughts
Or everyone I despise will be dead
I cringe to think of the devastation
A lot of blood would be spilled
I try to hold back these thoughts
Wondering if I'm extremely ill
No, it's this darkness surrounding my head
Wouldn't it be nice to sacrifice these ones who deserve it
271 · Mar 2018
Ebb And Flow
I may be down for a while
Then kicked down for long time
I look at the hours gone by
The miutes of discomfort and hurt
There was you laughing at me
Making fun of my condition
Because I stumbled and fell
Made a mistake I shouldn't of
I've asked for forgiveness
Said I was sorry and such
But did it even matter to you
You just wanted to play games
Hurt me in the long run
Over and over again
Teach me a lesson in torture
Make me do pentance
Well, I'm so over it
Moving on and upward
Can't stay on the ground forever
Got to brush myself off and take a step
Then take some more steps
You're always going to be around
Cause you can't live without me
Without trying to make me feel bad
I guess that's your destiny in life
To try to make me feel miserable
It will work here and there
But I'll keep dusting myself off
And moving on
Moving on without you
I hold onto the belief in the ebb and flow
Of life
Such good energy out there leading me
In the right direction
I stumble, make mistakes
Got to apologize and move forward
Can't really continue to go backwards
Not really
I don't want that to happen
I try to believe in he goodness of life
I have experience the ugliness
I could of kept wallowing in it
I would of never got clean
Wash myself off and take the lead
The ebb and flow really has me
And it's a wonderful feeling
271 · May 2016
No God
I feel God shows up through people
What happens when there ain't no one showing up
It's all selfish and ego driven
People out there not caring about others
They are out for themselves
And they ******* say one thing and do another
So where is this ******* God I here about
I don't see it anywhere in others
No one is speaking the ******* truth
It's all ******* lies
Little ******* white lies that they think
It's okay to ******* tell me because it's not too bad
No. This ain't going to take me to hell
I'll be alright saying this to James
He ain't that important anyway
He ain't going to ******* mind
Besides, he's a ******* anyway
Where is this ******* God you talk about so much
You cry to me about your ******* problems
Thinking I can fix what so ******* bad with your stupid life
At least I'm trying to find something for real
And I haven't found it ******* yet
Apparently this ******* God doesn't show up through people
Well, anyway, he sure the **** hasn't been in your world
I have watched you and heard the things you've said
Just don't pretend you know something you have no clue about
271 · Dec 2014
Verse
Simplicity is an art
Stillness hard to repeat
Facing a yearning heart
Quietness hard to release

Lost in the chaos
An image of a confused time
A feeling of misguided trust
Holding onto a verse of one's life
271 · Apr 2018
In My Memory
I stare out at the sun
And the sun smiling at me
Agreeing how beautiful a sunset can be
I look out in the distance
The sky so blue and pink
I smile from the view
What a beautiful view it is
No one can take that away
Steal the precious feeling I have
They may bombard me with obstacles
But that view is etched in the heart of my being
And I can bring it back, all I have to do is close
My eyes and there it is in my memory
270 · Nov 2015
Imprinted
Why all the demands,
Can't you see I'm doing pretty good?
Can't you understand,
It's always the way it should be?
Can't you see,
We weren't meant to be,
But two souls trying to be free,
Free from our tyranny,
And the darkness imprinted on the inside?
270 · Oct 2015
Find Myself
I walk amongst the dark,
struggling to find my way.
I have played the role,
and then I strayed.

I look into the sun,
blinded by the fire.
I can't run much longer,
my life hasn"t got any brighter.

What the hell am I suppose to do,
I wannt to grab at the light
but I'm stuck, feeling unglued.
I have goodness in sight
but the darkness takes me down
to a place I don't want to go.

I don"t want to go.
No, not that way.
I want to take it slow,
and find myself.

Find myself in the music of the spheres.
Find myself in mother nature.
Find myself in the mirror,
and let it all become clear.
270 · Nov 2015
More Of The Truth
My shadow turns and run, I'm left trying to catch up with it. I'm feeling quite shy, out of place, like I don't quite belong with the world outside. I want to hide, bury my face in a pillow, not be bothered with by anyone. I want to feel a part of but where can I go that I can also remain invisible. I'd rather be by myself than take the chance, too much hurt and pain has me at a glance. I try reaching out for help but I'm left by myself, wondering if life is even worth going the extra mile. I hope things are okay but is it worth the while. I feel like I need a doctor, someone to put the pieces together, lock me up so I don't run away, and be indignant of others who were always there for me. There was my family, they tried to help but never really understood me. There were my friends, they thought I was seeking attention which was more of the truth. Society, who liked to make fun and ridicule me. Through it all I came out the other side still confused and losing my mind but it's not so much what I feel inside but what I do about it, trying to forget myself and help someone else out.
269 · Apr 2016
Chances Are
Love, what the ****?
Am I only the fool who has no clue
What it truly is?
Is it forever being with someone
Knowing the flaws of that person
And still want to be with him or her?
I'm not for love, it burns like the sun
I have cared for and thought I was in love
But it was only a myth, a dream of a dream
I can only hope for it one day but the chances
Are it will never find a madman like me.
269 · Apr 2016
Sick Of It All!
Down and out
Feelings of loneliness
Flying high on the wings of despair
Can't seem to live a peaceful life
Everyone wants to **** with me
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Maybe I'll burn the whole ******* down
Cause what comes around goes around
I'm ******* sick of it all
Want a better way of doing things
But you got me tied against the wall
And there isn't a point in smiling
Nothing to smile about here
I just have a no energy left anymore
Nothing to be sincere
I'll just close this ******* door
And find a way to disappear
268 · Jun 2016
Stupid Expectations
Do you see me now
So invisible I have come
There are ones left behind
So friendly in their disguise
And I have wiped these tears
So many times from my eyes
It's like what did I ever do
To be crushed under the weight
Of your high and mighty attitude
No one deserves to be left alone
Thinking all the time
And these thoughts aren't good for me
They penetrate my skin
And send sounds of screams to my head
What did I ever do to you
I guess I'm just not cool enough
For your clan
I just don't understand
How people can be so insensitive
I write about junk
But I don't take it out into life
I take life into what I write
If that makes any sense?
I'm not popular by no means
Never had a click by my side
All I ever have done is chase people
Wanting their attention so badly
How can I be such a fool?
Starting today
I'm not going to chase anymore
If I have to survive lonely days
Then so be it
It's all has meaning
Yet I don't get it yet
I guess I'm just stupid
To expect anything from others
268 · Oct 2015
It Turned Out All Wrong
Feeling stupid
to think you could ever love
a man like me
I gave you everything
and it still wasn't enough
You wanted my pride
My dignity
How much I cried
to find out you were never alone
You had your, "friends"
Never once did I say
to give **** up
But you went away
and I strayed away
Now I'm the *******?
What a ******* hypocrite!
You would smoke it up
and I wanted to drink
But either way
I stayed away
Left you high and dry
And now I'm the *******?
when all you did was tease me
broke my heart a hundred times over
You knew what you was doing with me
It wasn't like we were playing house
And you wanted my soul
and everything in between
But mostly my money
a hundred dollars for crack
and like a ******* ******
I gave in
All because of your sexiness
I wanted in your pants
How can I be such a fool
to think we could be together?
to love?
to hold each other?
to whisper sweet things in our ears?
No, it turned out all wrong
267 · Oct 2015
Change My Ways
Seeing my reflection was hard to reflect,
The pain I caused others I wanted to object,
But it was a reality just as breathing,
This hollow face that I was seeing.
The tears flowed from my eyes,
To think I was the one to cause the pain,
It wasn't much to forget about life,
And try really hard to run away.
But now I have to face my sins,
And try really hard not to do it again,
To do a 180 and find a different ninche,
It's shouldn't be that hard to find meaning and purpose.
I have taken so much out of life,
Reaching deep down in my heart is about time,
And find the courage to change my ways.
266 · Mar 2015
Simplicity
My identity isn't the same, no, it has been reshaped, molded into a creation it is today. Whether it is bad I couldn't say, it is what it is and life can always make me go insane. I try to live by principles but it isn't always the same, I make mistakes and have to find my way. I look unto the heavens but my feet are planted on the ground, I truly believe what comes around goes around. I think too much, sometimes I haven't had enough and life sure as **** can be rough but all in all the time has been good to me just as long as I live in simplicity
266 · Feb 2016
Wonderful Bounty
It's been a beautiful day
The sun glowing across the sky
The air is warm as sitting next to a fireplace
I stand and smoke a cigarette
Looking upwards and seeing the birds fly
Soaring into the vevelt blue yonder
I smile as I feel an assurance from Mother nature
Nurturing the environment as a newborn baby
So soft and gentle, protecting us in our womb of life
We surrender to this incredible power of existence
This force that passes all understanding
In it's time it opens the shades
And pours out it's wonderful bounty
Of love, taking care of us all
265 · Jun 2016
Misery Loves Company
Send me down to the pit of despair
I wish I didn't have to go there
Through the thorns of agony and pain
Once again I've caused my own misery today
265 · May 2015
Losing Time
Inside I'm weary
tired of all the *******
I can't see clearly
A lot of things don't makes sense

Why do I have to ******* complain?
It would be easier for me to shut my mouth
Is it me going ******* insane
Or the world trying to stop my mouth?

So much misery out there
I have it good to think about it
Do people really care
Or is it a sign to **** the innocent?

I struggle with happiness
I want it all from the start
Doesn't everyone deserves it
Or is it just a role to play the part

The day crashes over me
And I stare into the sun
I clearly can see
What I have become

It doesn't take a rocket scientist
To see I'm alone with my thoughts
Trying hard to expel the darkness
I've went through rounds when I fought

My life has become a blank slate
All I have is words on my mind
I have wondered how well I rate
But looking back I've lost ******* time
I can't ******* understand others
I wish I had clarity from my brothers
No, one works in the automobile field
The other is a preacher full of zeal
Wants to save everyone he can see
But they don't want any parts of me

I look at cars passing by
All the hustle and bustle
I am not one who drives
My past is such a trustle
Digging a hole for future events
I'm the one who likes to ******* vent
And all this mechanics can **** ******* ****
Too many ******* around here that take stock
They like to blow **** up your pants
Burn the wheels and let's all dance

I'm not one to believe your belief
I have my own ******* values
They may not be what you'll have me to be
And what I say is, "*******!"
I"ve gone down that road before
And it didn't make any sense
Got ******* baptized caused I was confused
Out there in a world I ******* spent
Now I want blood, it's what I dream of
So many ******* I hate their god
It ain't worth trying to preach to me
I've seen it all on both sides of the ******* fence
265 · Feb 2016
Passing It On
Nothing ever so much touches the silence
An invisible array of contentment
Peace collides with this intangible
And bombardment has no place in the void
Heartfull from the ages of time
Contemplated the very essence of form
Mockery has no hold, no darkness
And all is abundant at the door
A person finds hope
Release from worries
A flame burns inside
And love is an avalanche
Greeting the ones who are interested
In passing it on
264 · Apr 2016
All Sorts Of These
Hello. I am a ******* freak
Lowly as can be
I like to justify my actions
As much as possible
Can't you see?
It's hard to get noticed
I've tried everything imaginable
I've worshiped God
And ran with the devil
Just for you to like me
I'm meaning no harm
So don't be alarmed
I've ****** daddled with magic
And almost died from my own tragic
Fundamentals and ideas of the truth
It ain't no fun, get struck by the sun
And found my calling in my youth
I am a what you have me to be
I can be all sorts of these
But is it my ******* wreckage
That has me down on my ******* knees
Wishing I was exactly like you
But that really wouldn't be the truth
So what must I do
Bow down in grievous over this
I think I'll give in to temptation
And follow after my own heart
263 · Sep 2015
Can't Explain It
What a complete ******* I have been, treating the one I loved the most like ****, hurting her in a way that is inexcusable, taking away the place she called home and we were united under one breath. Too many things went on, another person came along and I chose to uproot her life by cheating on her with this person. Why did I choose such a path? Did it come down to ***? I can't pin-point my sin or sins but nevertheless it was wrong, the road I chose lead me to hell and back to hell again. Karma has a funny way of finding me when I'm doing wrong, when I'm doing things that aren't right to the universe. I wrote this woman a nasty letter while she was away for a little while, paragraphs of **** spewing onto paper just because I had a belief of a life not going right with her but it went okay when we were together. The other person was a mistake, lead me straight to handcuffs and a life of complete turmoil. Why did I go that route, only God can explain it to me because I sure as **** can't.
263 · Sep 2015
Down This Road
Turning away from the darkness,
the negativity that had me down for a long, long time.
Trying hard to do what is right,
and make some sense of why;
why did I hurt the ones I love?
now they don't even trust me,
and I don't blame them
because most of the time I don't even trust myself.
But now it's totally different,
I'm a working process.
Not am the man I used to be,
and all the credit goes to God Himself.
Though I still like to cuss,
that's something I'm working on.
I smoke way too much,
and drink coffee like there isn't going
to be anymore when I wake up.
Don't be too upset reading my poems,
vulgarity just comes with the territory.
I just pray down this road of life
I will change some more.
263 · Oct 2015
Can't Put You Down
I can't put you down
you've been a part of my life for so long
everywhere I go, I take you along with me
never once thought of any other way
Everywhere I go, I take myself along
Wouldn't it be nice just to drift away?
Has it been a problem?
Yes!
But it feels so ******* good
and that's why I can't put you down.
262 · Dec 2016
Leaving
Frustrated, life seems out of balance
Or is it me, walking on tip-toes,
Trying hard to forget the past
And make the future stand for
Something. But I get lost in the woods,
Branches come out to greet me and smack
Me in the face, arms and then my nuts.
Am I going in the wrong direction? It
Must be because the darkness hovers
Over me and I can't see the beauty out
From the woods. Lost. Seeking guidance
Through praying but answers haven't come.
What do I do now? Do I stay or go? The
Answer has always been from within my
Gut, just too scared to make the leap of faith.
I must go. Where ever the path leads me.
262 · Jan 2016
Slothful
The time is now,
If not now, when?
So slothful,
No motivation whatsoever.
So proud,
But he hasn't done much of anything.
What is he proud of?
His life is in shambles,
Shouldn't he be working on himself,
Trying to get his head above water?
No, he'd rather lay around and stay lazy,
It has never worked out all the times before.
All it has done is cause trouble,
His mind races and he finds the trouble.
He sinks deep into it and revels in it.
Oh, wouldn't he be better if he stayed straight?
262 · Dec 2014
Chaos Bringing Me Down
Nothing is the way it seems, just a dream, trying to-
Run from the darkness but it grabs a hold of my-
Heart and makes me bleed. I hit the floor, it seems-
I'm on my knees, crying out but not being heard.
No one can hear me scream,  I'm making the face-
But no words are coming out of my mouth. The-
Demons in my head are talking to me, wanting me-
To give up the fight. Hell seems like it's following-
Me, I'm blind to see the truth, chaos bringing me-
Down, and it seems like everywhere I go I drown.
262 · Dec 2015
Like The Old West
My fault is I'm alive
In a world that doesn't make sense
Too much anger aimed at "who?"
Too much violence
I can be evil, it doesn't take much brains
All the while watching the world burn up in flames
I can be happy about it, it doesn't mean much to me
What the hell are we fighting for if it's not peace?
Running away from this avenue
All because I'm afraid to
Terror has me clutched in it's grip
Holding tightly around my neck
No positives, just negatives I see
except this gun I hold around my waist
I feel secure, so does my family
I'll **** you in a blink of an eye
If you try to come between us and our home
Am I evil for protecting what's right
Or is there much more to the story?
The one where I give out love with my hand gun
Like it ever came down that I cared
I care who I place first in my life
And right now you aren't in it
Call me mean or a hypocrite
I really don't mind
But for now it's about saving lives
I feel everyone should carry
It would be like the old west
A lot more people would think twice
Of who to **** with
261 · Apr 2015
Set You Free
I can't set you free
That's not how it works
I am only one among many
So much to do it hurts

I can't capture a moment
And filter it out for you
So many people can be spent
So much anger it's true

The days are long and unimpressive
Sick of all of the short cuts in life
I try to be one who is decisive
But it can't change the picture in your mind

Here comes a long list of things to undo
Unravel the past and make the future right
If only my faith wasn't stuck like glue
I would be able to set matters right

I would be able to set you free...
261 · Apr 2016
Better View
I can be such a phony
So fake, such a fake
I wish I could turn back time
The world wouldn't of got a hold on me
But it's too late now
The world is my master
And I'm just a slave to it
Better give in like I always do
And dream of a better view
261 · May 2016
Lost For Words
My taste buds are dying
As I try to feed my palate
Nothing is freeing my eyesight
I'm as blind as can be
So hellish from my dreams

From the North comes a storm
The lightning is striking out in the distance
The thunder banging loud like drums
And there still isn't a sign of you coming home

I can't feel you anymore
My touch has gone to waste
I am perplexed
I grab hold in haste

Deafening sounds fill my ears
The silence is so hard to break
I'm not sure what is clear
I am lost for words
everything was at stake
But now all is flashing goodbye
Like the lightning in the sky
The sound of laughter no more
Like the sound of thunder
Once there
Then fading as I close this door
**** this and **** that
It's all ******* anyway
I would like this and that
But we all have to pay
Wouldn't it be nice
If there were no killings
No wars to fight in
No murders on the streets
But that's not the way it is
Have to be ******* politically correct
Or get shot for using your imagination
The times are hard, so ******* scary
Will there be any brootherhood among us?
So much hatred, so very little peace
Too many people along the sidelines not to trust
But that's the way it goes, it time to get used to it
Make the most out of it, carry a ******* gun
I'll protect my family before I'll protect you
I'll **** someone ******* with them and
Not even think twice, does that make me
A madman or is it self-preservation?
So it's a matter of survival than anything else
It is the times, get ******* used to it!
261 · Apr 2015
A Storm
The clouds are rolling in
The raindrops start to begin
The sky turns dark, ominous and grey
The lightning flashes and you can hear
The thunder from far away
The wind picks up speed
Blowing fiercely
And the raindrops turn into a massive
Down pour that floods everything so
Violently
261 · Dec 2014
Scream
There I lie, broken inside, a shell of a man with tear-
Stained eyes. All hope was just a flicker of light, gone-
As quickly as I cried. Finding out the truth wasn't a-
Relief, I think more of myself than I want to please. It-
Isn't hard to believe, that I curse myself not knowing-
What to believe. What right do I have to sit randomly
By, watching the world in full steam reaching out to-
Me, and all I want to do is scream.
260 · Apr 2016
Don't Give Up
Precious, oh so precious
Like fine wine
We see our standards
And try to live up to them with time
But like our humanity
We tend to fall short
That's what makes us stronger
In our difficulty we see the light
We rise from our pain
And see a beautiful way
A way not yet thought of
Only dreams flourishes into reality
And the fires of hell burns brightly
The strength that says we're not going to give up
260 · Feb 2015
Feeding On The Spark
Searing, burning
My eyes staring into the dark
With the world turning
Everyone wants to feed on the spark
I kiss goodbye the daylight
And reach out to the night
Finding a home where I go
Realizing I'm never alone
259 · Jun 2018
No changing that!
They're no friends of mine
Why would I want that in my life
All they bring is misery and pain
Nothing but bullies
I get lost in the rain
Trying to escape
Escape the suffering
I want something better
Something tangible and real
Though it wouldn't be smart to think I can get away from pain.
It's always going to be out there. Waiting.
It's how I handle it is what's going to be sane
Maybe these bullies, society who are dum about mental illness and try to make things harder on me, are ****** in the head. They're the head cases that need the help. But I'm still going to be me, that's all I have, I can't trust no one else, and they ain't going to ******* change that.
259 · Feb 2016
Done Something
I saw the confusion
As you tore apart speakers
Wondering where the voices
Was coming from
The look in your eyes
Pained me
I wanted to be able to do
Something for you
You went through the house
Taking apart the electrical outlets
And rewiring everything
Because you thought that would do the trick
I really didn't know how you felt
And I never asked
It must of been scary for you
To hear things that weren't there
I wish I was more considerate
And payed more attention to you
Talked to you more often
Instead of just doing my thing
Being really selfish
And thinking you were faking it at times
How could I be so arrogant
And not care about your welfare
I wish I could of done something
Told you that I loved you more often
258 · Jul 2018
Good Vibes (Love)
My mind is cluttered
And I feel like ****
All I want is to feel better
But everyday is a struggle
Struggle to get up in the morning
And stay awake
All I want to do is sleep my life away
My depression has me in its grips
Wanting to cloud everything
And make it dark
I want to break free
And smile once again
Even faith as tiny as a mustard seed can be a spark
But most days I plug along
Hurting inside with these dark emotions
Wishing I could just disappear
Be forever lost in the nothingness
Though I know the Universe isn't out to get me
I need good vibes to win me over to the lighter side
I have to stay focus on what is right
And that's love will conquer all
Love of life
Love of family
Love of a pet even
Love.
258 · Mar 2017
Drown Me
I don't want to feel
I want to be numb
All this work on myself
Seems like a waste of time
I want to come to know me
My identity has been shackled
Chained up for a very long time
I want to be free
A sense of peace like a rainbow
Seeing the colors makes me smile
And feel good about life
But a dark cloud hovers over me
And I want to run
Say, "**** it"
And crack open a bottle
Drown all my worries
Drown all my emotions
Drown me
258 · Mar 2016
Searching Out For Destiny
There is a constant yearning
I feel it in my heart
A tug pulling me in a direction
Of light and love
I have searched for the truth
Again and again I have failed
Looking through the hourglass
I see my life fading away slowly
Like pebbles in the sand
I walk ever so gently to understand
Where I must go
Where I must be
Where I find my destiny
It's not so much clear
But I have the peace it will all appear
And the hope that abundance will find
It's way to me
258 · Jun 2018
Hollow Souls (stigmitism)
Splintered emotions
Falling away from oneself
Can't undo the past
Though it's revisited of every minute
Of everyday.
Try to think of positive things
but that's few and far between
Especially when you're almost down for the count Others see this and try to take advantage
Of the fact you're depressed, that I am depressed.
Stigmitism runs deep and hollow souls try to make it worse. They want us to lose it. They get a kick out of it. It makes them happy because they have no life of their own. They're just plain ******* bullies. They would rather pry in your life than take care of their own. Their intentions are felt by us. We're the ones that get their baggage cause they can't go a day without making fun of us.
They're a useless bunch.
257 · Apr 2015
Useless Cause
Buying time
I don't know why
I don't want to tell the truth
Of how I lost my mind
I look at you
And you seem put together
Like nothing bothers you
I on the other hand
Can't accept life
No, can't accept the way
Things are
I try and I try
But it's a useless cause
A useless attempt
I want to be for sure
Though I know I'm not
I feel like the world is on
My shoulders and I can't
Get this monkey off my back
257 · Jan 2016
Don't Know
It's been hard for me to make
The right choices, I have a tendency
Of choosing the bad. What is wrong with me?
All my life I felt like it's been a dream
Not a good one though
I have made decisions that weren't pleasant
All because of wanting to be satisfied
I've chased after lust
Wanting *** all the time
Not getting too involved
But rather having the *****
Then anything else
How well does that work?
It doesn't
No woman in their right mind
Wants to be treated like *** objects
But that's been the story of my life
I don't know how to be in a relationship
257 · Dec 2015
The Question Of Christmas
The raindops have fallen more time than I wish it would
No snow to cover the ground the way I wish it should
The spirit of Christmas seems lost in our hearts
No forgiveness, just another depressing day to start
Where is this thing I have learned called love
Would it matter how many presents I give to you
Even the heavens are shedding their tears above
What does a person long for, what must he or she do?
257 · Mar 2015
Waste Of Life
Evil thoughts
Dead inside
Make believe
Black heart of mine
Conjuring up nothing
Not a pleasant sight
Just a lonely demon
Trying to buy his time
For the waste of life
257 · Feb 2015
My Own Hell
What happened to the day,
it seems so dark and gloomy?
Can't seem to get away-
from the pain inside my head.
So much has been said,
so much has been laid to rest,
wishing all was well,
wishing for the best.
Though nothing goes right,
everything is just a nightmare.
Can't have you by my side,
what does it matter anyhow?
Feeling all the pressure,
it's takes place in my mind.
The day turns cold, dark and lonely.
Oh, how I want things to turn out alright.
Though I'm here in my own hell,
where there is no lights.
257 · Jan 2016
Nobody
I don't know myself
Do I even care?
I hope that I do
Nobody is going to care for me
No one is going to take my hand
And lead me where I need to go
Nobody is going to tell me I'm
Making the wrong choices
And I need to to make better decisions
I try to do the opposite of what
I've always done but that in itself is difficult
My first instinct is to make a mess out of things
Hurt the ones who really mean a lot to me
I don't even know if I appreciate life
That it would better if I just die
But I trudge the road of confusion
Because I don't know how to live right
Would it be better if I gave in
Surrendered to a better source?
I believe it would help my thinking head
Always racing thoughts of past mistakes I've done and said
Not only that, it's delusional most of the time
All I want to do is to be able to feel fine
Someone told me to have self respect
Hell, I don't even know what that is
I have too much contempt for people
Not a good place to be in my mind
Though nobody is going to help me live right
And take my hand during the day and night
And show me a better way to live then what I've been doing
No, I better start caring or I am a dead man
I don't want to die and people say he was an *******
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