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Jan 2016 · 276
Fucking Mistake
I can't see the truth
I'm blinded by a vision of my own selfishness
Staring back at the mirror
My eyes flicker with rage
I want to scream
But no words can come out
I want to smash this reflection
Only if I can turn back now
I wish I would of changed then
But now it's a long road ahead
And obstacles are in my way
Like life itself
I don't seem to do it over well
And these tears are a distaste
Falling to my lips
I try to find the answer
But I haven't asked a ******* question
What am I searching for
To be loved sounds good
But even that sometimes turn me off
I just want to fly
Turn into an eagle and soar away
Maybe I would see the light
Or maybe the darkness will smother me
Choking the very life out of me
I strain for approval
Just maybe that's my ******* mistake
Jan 2016 · 301
A Man Like Me
The beauty I see is distorted
I cannot explain why
The markings around this fence
Tells me to go in one direction
But I choose to jump over it
And go my separate way
How well does that work out?
Well, it brings heartache and pain
I think I know better
But what I know amounts to ****
It doesn't save me from the real world
I'm protected by what I write
But I'm not safe in how I do things
My actions are gaunged on how I feel
So I run with that
Instead of thinking about the consequences
How pathetic is that
I fight the demons inside
But fail so many countless times
Keeping them at bay
They win quite often
Should I be concerned about that?
Should I fall to my knees?
Many days the answer is yes
Cause I'm just a fool
Making things worse inside my head
Thinking I'm not a good farther
That my girl could do without me
But then she hugs me
And tells me daddy I love you
So my guilt is just the boogy man
And my perception about life *****
I need to follow direction
And keep my head in the clouds
Maybe I won't **** things up
And just maybe God can forgive a man like me
Jan 2016 · 295
Fucked Up Once Again
What the **** just happened,
I once was doing- well, at least okay,
And then the world came crashing around me,
Once staying afloat,
Believing in Kingdom Come,
Now I'm just running to a different tune.
Staying east of the wind,
So my **** doesn't knock me on my ***,
Maybe it was the piggled-eggs I ate,
Maybe it was what I drank,
A little ***** and some juice,
But the little turned out to some more,
And I'm ****** up once again.
Jan 2016 · 291
A Piece Of Me
The way,
It's only a way,
Does it ******* matter to me?
I live among *******,
Hell, I'm looking at one-
When I see myself in the mirror.
I look into my eyes,
From the reflection I see,
Nothing but emptiness,
I see a piece of me.
Jan 2016 · 357
What The Friction Is
Its meaningless,
So tired and alone.
What is death?
Just a new beginning.
Then life,
This life,
Arrogant am i ,
Just wishing upon the sunlight,
The warmth I feel,
When I'm close to you,
I feel your breath,
One over-lapping another.
I see your  face,
So kind as can be,
Isn't it all priceless,
So let the friction be,
This is what it's all about.
Jan 2016 · 288
Drink and Smoke
So what,
I drink and i smoke,
Am i harming anyone?
Well, i'm harming you,
I don't mean to,
But i can't stand your nagging.
Does it mean anything
Jan 2016 · 272
Portrait Of Life
Life,
Does it mean something?
Are we all poets?
Are we all kings,
Searching diligently for peace of mind?
Dec 2015 · 284
Faint Whisper
I'm lonely and scared,
More scared than lonely.
I don't know what to do,
About this thing called love.
I try to do the right thing,
But it seems like not enough.
Whatever I decide,
Whatever choice I make,
It still seems like a faint whisper
Beckoning me from afar.
Dec 2015 · 248
The Question Of Christmas
The raindops have fallen more time than I wish it would
No snow to cover the ground the way I wish it should
The spirit of Christmas seems lost in our hearts
No forgiveness, just another depressing day to start
Where is this thing I have learned called love
Would it matter how many presents I give to you
Even the heavens are shedding their tears above
What does a person long for, what must he or she do?
Dec 2015 · 352
We Are Not Alone
You are not alone
There are others out in this
World !ike you
Who wants the best
In everyone, including himself
Or herself
I can feel the connection
It's forces are an attraction
Connecting us to one another
Whatever you are feeling
Believe I'm feeling the same way
Because I have been through the ringer
Of emotions
It feels good to know I'm not alone
It feels good to know we are alike with
The same pulse
Let me have my two pots
Of coffee in the morning
And a pack of smokes
Before you start with the hugging
What the ****?
Are you that needy
Always need my attention
Can't live without it
You always had to say
"I love you."
That was nice to hear
But not every ******' five minutes
Rub your back?
Your back always needed rubbed
Rub a dub dub
Can't take a bath in my own ******' tub
Without you up my ***
I couldn't sit on the toilet
Without you bothering me
Wanting to know what I wanted for supper
Christ, food was far from my mind
I was just trying to push out this
**** at this time
I felt so ******' smothered
The only peace I got was going for a walk
To check the mail
And even then you was calling me
Wanting to know what I would like for supper
Food? What the ****?
I like it as the next man
But it seemed like you wanted me fat
I don't know about this crap
Figure it out your own **** self
I'm not hungry
I said I'm not ******' hungry!
That was the bright spot of the day
There was no communication in any way
That's why I'm leaving today
I hope you don't get mad
As a couple it was pretty sad
Maybe it will be better
Separate from one another
I don't know
But I have to let you go
Dec 2015 · 274
Run It's Course
You asked me why
And I told you why
We've ran our course
Now it's time to move on
Being in love is exciting
But I know I wasn't there
I understand you were
And that's more than okay
But I was so distant
Not happy where I was
So many times I let you know
That this wasn't going to work out
But you wanted to hold on for dear life
Not letting the situation run it's course
I feel for you, hoping you can understand
That being in a relationship should mean something
But it didn't mean all that much to me
Now you're angry and I don't blame you
I practically have wasted your time
In which it could of been spent else where
Now you want to start trouble
And that's where I draw the line
I can't help the way I didn't feel for you
We were both infatuated with each other
Lust was a big issue for the most part
After getting to know you I really
Didn't like what I was seeing
There was too many things that weren't right
I'll be honest and say I felt sorry for you
But even pity had a way of biting me in the ***
You had no place to go at the time
Just moved your things into my home
And you over stayed your welcome
What is it with women moving their things
In a man's home without asking?
It doesn't serve no purpose
Especially when we are just getting
To know each other, yes, the ***
Is good but even that doesn't hold
A relationship together. Or whatever
You want to call it. I call it plain insanity
Dec 2015 · 285
The War Within Is Over
The war within is over
Thank God
I can finally sit back with ease
I don't have to struggle
No matter what is going on now
Doesn't have to be the end of the world
I'm not looking for attention no more
I would bend over backwards to be liked
I don't have to do that no more
It feels good
I have found a little piece of heaven
It's in the way I view things now
I have found quite of bit of beauty
Just look at Mother Nature
And how she envelopes us with her loving wings
I find it comforting life isn't counting my mistakes
But how I'm living in the truth
If I lie, cheat, and steal
I can believe my life will be ****
Karma will make sure of that
I've been at the very bottom many times
Suicide was looking mighty tempting
It's when I was at my lowest point
That God was there to rescue me
I'm not saying I live my life perfectly
There's a lot of room for improvement
My obscenities are one of my character flaws
How I do revel in cussing
But I feel God turns the other way
And shakes his head
Hoping I will let go of my ***** mouth
But if that' the only thing He has to worry about
Then there is diffently something wrong
How I do like the fact my mind isn't racing
That it has slowed down quite a bit
That I do find moments of peace
And never know I just might find happiness
But I feel happiness comes from doing the right thing
Dec 2015 · 267
Blood Red
Hey, is this for real?
I see the moon turn blood red
In the distance a wolf cries out
Hungry, smelling the stentch of my sweat
The dead stare in my eyes
How much I am scared
Of the madning of my soul
Dec 2015 · 561
Bring On The Sunshine
A lot of things I fear
I'm going to see it through
My blood, sweat, and tears
It ain't going to be in vain
The chaos will end too
Once I let go of the things in the way
So much I'm not proud of
But I'm moving forward now
Time to never look back
I've had enough
I'm going to smile instead of
Always wearing a frown
It's a wonder the way I looked
Before wasn't stuck in place
The world is mostly bleak
But I'm going to make the most of it
Put what matters first in my life
I know the heavens has the key
To dispel the darkness
And in return bring on the sunshine
Dec 2015 · 290
That Guy
To find the truth
Is a little messy
What I fear the most
Is I'm exactly that guy
Who passes the buck
Dec 2015 · 500
The Haunting
The pressure is on
I feel torn
No where to go
Can't step to the flow
It hurts to ponder
Wonder
Why I turned out the way I am
I try the best I can
But it seems like it's not enough
I act tough
Though deep inside I'm unaware
Just exactly why I'm scared
I walk this road all alone
Trying to find a place to call home
My thoughts over reach their bounds
What comes around goes around
Karma has a way to unfold
It's justice prevails I'm told
And I have experienced it first hand
It something I don't quite understand
But it's still there to judge me
Only darkness I can see
Can't escape this spell
I'm living in hell
I cry out to release this pain
But it just won't quite go away
Something is haunting me from the inside
I just feel like I want to cry
Curl up in a ball on my couch and die
My heart weighs heavy with despair
It seems like I'm lost out there
In my insanity I cringe
I can't seem to escape this sin
All along it was my insidious Hyde
Torturing what's left of my mind
Dec 2015 · 350
Let You Go
You asked me to love you
It was that look in your eyes
It told of a shattered existence
Lonely and afraid
Oh, how I knew the way you felt
I felt the same not too long ago
It was lust at first sight
But once that was over with
We didn't have much in common
Life took on a new meaning once
Our daughter was born
I had to pull up my pants
And become a man quickly
But I failed utterly
Nothing I did seemed right
You knew all the answers
And God forbid I spoke my peace
Years collided with one another
And I blinked and our daughter was three
Even after years of being together
You never gave me much credit
So love faded
And I became ill with contempt
Resentment
And anger
Not a pretty picture for our daughter
I just wish I was in love with you
But unfortunately I don't think I ever was
You moved your things in
Never asked me if you could stay
Just assumed everything would be okay
And you would live your life forever with me
I made you feel comfortable
As comfortable as can be
We made passionate love
Hot
And heavy
Steamy
Sticky
Love
But
I was no where near a commitment
You seemed like you didn't care
Then you got pregnant
Two fools who were unaware
Things changes
I have changed
You seem like you're staying the same
Demanding
Controlling
*****
Trying to tell me where to **** in the woods
I don't think it will ever work out
Between us
So I must let you go
I've kicked you out three times
Each time accepting you back
Because of some ungodly reason
Each time I felt sick
Because I knew deep in my heart
That I really didn't love you
Now this last time we're threw
No more games
I have to let you go
Relationships? If anyone knows what's going on with them, please let me know.
Dec 2015 · 277
Disappearing Act
Moreover,
It is difficult to love
Without strings.
I'll do anything
To feel a part of,
But in your eyes
Is that enough?
I'll bring you the stars
But is that going too far?
Am I grabbing at air,
Only to find you're not there,
No more?
Dec 2015 · 371
Window Of Pain
Days are fading away
Boredom takes place
Hits home inside my heart
Don't know where to start
Loneliness is an avenue
Don't quite know what to do
Listening for answers
But there really isn't one
Holding my life intact
By the very gracefullness
I see in the sun
I look for the path
But I'm already on a road
To an ever increasing stability
If only I surrender to this gracefullness
And let the sun shine brightly through
This window of pain in my soul
Dec 2015 · 320
Deprived
I come as a godhead
A bright individual
Taught from the streets
Of light and darkness
There I roam once again
Beaten into reasonableness
Submission cracked me wide open
The light is in the madness
The darkness is in the light
I come to stand strong
Not be broken down
Left my home many times
Started over from the beginning
Oh well, it's a new day
I come not to stand in the way
But let my words show kindness
Until it's time not to be kind
Rather throw my fist and knock
The crap out of the person who offends
I come riding a lightning bolt
Into your freakin' mind
Too tired, must go to sleep. Sorry about the rant.
Dec 2015 · 236
Unfortunately
Count the many ways
You want to hurt me back
Manipulating
Controlling
Demanding
If only I could love
The way you want me to love you
Unfortunately
Those days have long passed
Dec 2015 · 206
The Tears We Cry
The tears we cry,
It's like rain on a cold day.
We try to live right,
But the more we persist=
The more life takes away.
And our loved ones are taken,
Why do we have to die?
Can't we just live forever?
Why do we have to cry,
It seems like a waste of time?
But the more we crave-
The more life wants out of us today.
Dec 2015 · 243
Life Is Killing Me
Life is killing me,
So softly,
Sweetly,
One more day is a nail in my coffin.
I'll treasure that day,
The moment they close the lid,
And I am no more,
Just bones and organs.
Dec 2015 · 343
A Question About Love
Love,
It's sometimes blind.
Where can I find it though,
That it won't hurt?
I've been searching for it,
But have come up empty.
I've found out it hurts more than anything else
But is it better to love,
Than never to have felt it?
I've been defeated,
And now I'm left crying.
Love lost,
Love gone astray.
Is there ever a love that will make me happy one day?
Dec 2015 · 211
Reflection
What are you talking about
I know I don't make much sense
Going along like everything is okay
But in truth it's not okay, I want to scream
Stomp my feet and throw a fit like a child
Is there anything worth while
Or are we doomed to a shooting spree?
I kiss you goodbye and walk away
Not knowing for sure if I'll ever return
I can't understand ******* people
Why they do the things they do
So many things that don't make much sense
That's why I try to live my life one hour at a time
Don't know who's going to come around the corner
They could be wearing trench coats
Or they could be wearing suits
Nowadays it doesn't ******* matter
Who's going to come after me?
I peek around the corner and can't see
The truth is blind to who are my enemies
I seriously don't know anymore
I shut the door and try to fall asleep
Without waking up in a ******* nightmare
Can we ever find ******* peace?
I think we're over stepping our bounds
There ain't much out there in this world
That is obsolete and in reach
So much hatred I feel it too
I hate everybody equally
There isn't anything anyone can do
I'll try to break through this hour glass
And find the courage to kick some ***
There's a lot of people that needs their *** kicked
I put myself in harms way and felt the full force
Experience has taught me that I don't have to take the risk
That there is beauty out there in this god-forsaken world
I just have to try to find it and make it apart of my life
Sounds silly, doesn't it? But I'm a silly kind of man
And the choices I make today reflect who I am
Dec 2015 · 509
Better Off Dead
I look into the void
Nothing left of me
Pressure building
Jump start my heart please
I see so many faults
But I don't ******* judge
Who the **** am I
Just a sinner lying naked under this sun
I *******, thinking of you
Your skin is so smooth to the touch
I wish for you back
But I'm out of touch
So here I am alone once again
With my **** in my hand
I'm such a *******
Don't make much sense
I'll shoot you
A drive by coming at you
Messed me all up in my head
Now I'm wishing you dead
I'll huff gasoline to feel numb
How the **** did it come to this
Now I'm ******, coming undone
I paid my soul to the devil
Lying through my teeth under this sun
Through it all I won't stoop to your level
I'll **** it all up with the way I drink
Here's how I ******* think
**** it all, I can't get up
Too many pills, who's to trust
Reaching for the nine
It would be better if I wasn't around this time
A devious smile comes across my face
I'll put myself out of my ******* misery
Not even God can save me, no ******* grace
It's all ******* over, time to let go of this place
Find my way into the sky, it's better off if I die
Dec 2015 · 251
Like The Old West
My fault is I'm alive
In a world that doesn't make sense
Too much anger aimed at "who?"
Too much violence
I can be evil, it doesn't take much brains
All the while watching the world burn up in flames
I can be happy about it, it doesn't mean much to me
What the hell are we fighting for if it's not peace?
Running away from this avenue
All because I'm afraid to
Terror has me clutched in it's grip
Holding tightly around my neck
No positives, just negatives I see
except this gun I hold around my waist
I feel secure, so does my family
I'll **** you in a blink of an eye
If you try to come between us and our home
Am I evil for protecting what's right
Or is there much more to the story?
The one where I give out love with my hand gun
Like it ever came down that I cared
I care who I place first in my life
And right now you aren't in it
Call me mean or a hypocrite
I really don't mind
But for now it's about saving lives
I feel everyone should carry
It would be like the old west
A lot more people would think twice
Of who to **** with
Dec 2015 · 304
The Fire
Just a broken heart
Giving love a lost turn
Finding nothing in part
Amending my ways
But I thirst and burn
With a lonely void
Rendering me incompatible

I search for the desert
The snake biting my tail
Holding nothing closer
In my arms than I should
Everything seems forsaken
Bitter dreams haunting me
Falling farther down into desire
Can't come up from the fire
Dec 2015 · 219
Dead Meaning
I do what I must to stay alive, that means trying to be rid of this selfishness that wants me dead. It tells me lies that I can do things on my own, that I don't need help and I can survive with what I'm still doing.
Nov 2015 · 236
Sometimes... I Wish...
Sometimes I wish I could fly,
Soar above the misty mountaintops,
Come swooping down to catch a meal,
A feast I share with my family.
Nesting in a tree,
Sometimes I wish these things for me,
Is it so hard to see,
That life is harder than it's made out to be.
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear,
Vanish without a trace,
Like the ring on the Hobbit,
I would put it on and leave this place.
Sometimes... I wish...
Nov 2015 · 267
Beautiful Sort Of Way
Coming face to face with myself
I stare into the mirror and don't
Like what I see. I want a better
Way of life, I want to feel at
Peace. Though many times I
Sabotage my structure I have
Built, I have to start all over
Again and try to make it this
Time without killing myself.
I see others who are happy
And joyful, I want what they
Have but if that means I have
To bow down to someone then
I don't want any part in it.
I have grown up in an
Atmosphere of do what I say
Not what you see, that has
Lead me to many questions
About where I fit in the scheme
Of things. I placed trying to
Belong so badly with the world
And the people in it I that it
Only caused my downfall. I
Turned my back on what I was
Taught was right, traveled down
A dangerous road of hell, demons
Had my soul, only to come out
Of it with an experience of what
Not to do. I played the victim for
So many years that it's a wonder
That anyone likes me, I would
Cry a river, sing the blues, every-
Thing looked dark and bleak that
Others didn't know what to do,
So they left me be. I found a way
Out that made sense to me, I no
Longer crave attention but rather
Give it to the ones who matter. I
Have stepped across the threshold
Into a new and wonderful way of
Life that needs no commitment but
Rather a little bit of effort on my
Part. It's called surrendering my
Inner being to a higher understanding
That I am not alone anymore, that
The Universe wants to hear from me
And all are beautiful in a beautiful sort
Of way.
Nov 2015 · 174
Leave Me Be
You have a right to your opinion
That's what being free
But I also can say *******
Get a ******* life
And leave me ******* be
Nov 2015 · 366
And That's That
I want to do my own thing
Be free with how I feel
And write words that flow
Getting into people's heads
Through ******* experience I jot
Down on paper how things are
I am a ******* bumb
I live in a trailer with my girlfriend
And child
I get social security as an income
On welfare too
What the **** is life all about?
I try really hard to succeed
But the ******* world weighs on me
I wish things weren't the way they are
But the more I wish the more I get ******
And I want to ******* shout out to the sky
I work hard to raise my kid
Play with her everyday
And love her in every way
I try to work on my relationships
But I can feel it slipping away
Cause I'm rotten through and through
Even though I have ***** by my side
I still look at **** and rub one off
So does that make me evil?
I really ******* don't know
I know love is hard to make it grow
To let it progress into something beautiful
I really am a hard *** criminal
So selfish in the ways I do things
Stealing time like there wasn't enough of it
Stealing my girlfriend's heart
And not caring how I treat her
What the **** is wrong with me?
Too stupid to see
That there is more to life than being a brat
A ******* grown *** man acting like a seventeen year old
And that's that
Nov 2015 · 240
In My Life
Are you kind
Or just plain mean?
Do you find
What is best to hold dear?
I'm an idiot
When it comes to love
So many feelings inside
I can only dream of
Lost for words
Can't return anything
I see my face
In the reflection of your blue eyes
I look depressed
Wondering if I'll ever be happy
But the time has begun to wither away
What is meaningful in my life
Nov 2015 · 630
The Feather
Like a feather caught in the wind,
I float away in a hustle of words,
Faith eludes my broken heart,
Longing for relief to comfort me
Peace, that elusive feeling, comes
And goes like the feather in the wind
Nov 2015 · 303
Being Thankful
I never gave gratitude a chance
Always selfish in my attempts
If you were in pain
I only thought of myself
And how I can be in pain too
I wanted your attention
I needed your affection
I craved after a compliment
When I didn't get it I felt sick
I never gave being thankful a fair hearing
Always after stuff to fill my soul
It didn't matter how you felt
I would make sense of it all
I would cry like a wolf
Make you believe me
All was lies to begin with
I never made any sense, really
Chasing after intangible things
Never giving your feelings a fair side
Hoping you wouldn't find me out
And change everything you felt about me

Oh, how selfish I have been
To you and your family
I have been rotten in so many ways
I don't think you can ever forgive
There are things about me
That the cosmos only knows
It would better to not to say
And try to have a grateful heart

Live our lives today
Like it needs to be lived
Being thankful for all we have
Nov 2015 · 353
Release our Grip
All that will ever be
Has passed away through time
No sense making things worse
And hurting the ones we love
The night passes away
Soon comes the dawn
How can we ever get along
If we hold grudges in our hearts?
We try to make a good
Situation out of a bad one
We have a different attitude
We make our dreams come alive
And we look forward to the rising sun
We çrawl after our possessions
Wanting to take them with us when we die
We sit alone at the bar with thoughts
Of suicide crossing our minds
How can we ever find peace
If we are so busy all the time?
We waste our energy trying to look prettier
But it ain't going to matter much in the end
We need to give things up, try to release our grip
And make love the focal point in life
Nov 2015 · 784
Not One For Sentiments
I'm not one for sentiments
But there is love and possibility
So much hatred in the world
Why not give kindness a shot
If I am going to be free
Free from all kinds of oppressions
I have to give up the selfishness
That I am smarter than life
I have gone insane from theologies
And religion hasn't saved my soul
The past is exactly what it is
Can I ever go back? No.
I've taken hard knocks to know
Only what experience has taught me
There's only one thing I need to know
Life's a *****, no point in it
Can't I just accept there are possibilities
That are beyond my puny mind of mine
Things that can't be seen but are there
I can't see love but I can feel it
It's in the air and the smell is sweet
Why should I let there be peace?
It's because I haven't got the energy
To hate just one more day
Nov 2015 · 228
Running Away
I grind my teeth
Your words left a sour taste
In my mouth
What am I suppose to do
When you're yelling at me?
So much belittling
So much I feel small
I can't take it anymore
I want to disappear
I unlock the door
And walk out into the night
So cold and I am scared
I keep walking
I have no clue where I am going
But any place is better where I'm at
I can't see in front of my face
I hear the sound of a dog barking
So I turn around and walk back home
Thoughts of getting my *** beat
Came across my mind
But at this point I didn't care
If only I had a place to go
I wouldn't have to run back home
With my tail between my legs
All because of being scared
And not knowing where I was going
Nov 2015 · 308
Ain't Good Enough
Once again
I'm wide awake
Staring into this tablet
Of mine, trying to come
Up with something to write
That will blow people's minds
But it's the same old *******
Writing about my ****** up life
Who really wants to hear a self-pity speech?
Can't seem to escape the problems inside of me
So much **** I have inside this ****** up head
Can't seem to put it all together without wishing I was dead
So many words crossing in through my mind
And it seems like I can't make time
Stop, slow down, some ******* way to get it all out
I have my fears and my doubts
What if it just ain't good enough?
Nov 2015 · 298
Seems Like A Virtue
****** up in my head
Waiting for death instead
Too much burden
Too much pressure
Nothing to wake up to
Nothing in this world to do
All alone with these crazy thoughts
Loneliness seem like a virtue
Nov 2015 · 680
Just My Fucked Up Sin
Chaos all around me
No peace to be found
My mind is racing
Suicide looking good
Nothing to lift me up
No one around
I try to make things right
But I haven't got very far
Nor am I close in sight
Just wishing upon a ******* star
I feel the weight
**** weighing me down
I want to hate
No one is around
I want to leave this place
Fly away to a secured island
But I can't feel my face
All there ever was
Was my ****** up sin
Nov 2015 · 259
Imprinted
Why all the demands,
Can't you see I'm doing pretty good?
Can't you understand,
It's always the way it should be?
Can't you see,
We weren't meant to be,
But two souls trying to be free,
Free from our tyranny,
And the darkness imprinted on the inside?
Nov 2015 · 271
Creature Of Habit
Can I fuss?
Love to ******' cuss
What's my name?
Drugs have my brain
Lost my mind an hour ago
Trying to get it back
But where did I misplaced it?
It's odd and strange
Trying to get down with the beat
But I've lost my ******' way
Can't find the tune to my feet
I'm bouncing up and down
Excitement has me flying high
I've tried to leave this town
But it ain't letting me go
Too much about the night
I've heard the sounds
The wolves calling after me
There I can't see
No parts to be
Blind to this world
It hurts my guts
And there I can't fuss
Why I am so blunt?
Smoke it up
Lose the attitude
Collapsed my heart
With blood on my hands
Tortured soul becoming free
The last on the reaper's list
Slice my wrist
Take me away
I can't see
What's the ******* point?
Lost in ******* weeds
Roll one up
And smoke that tree
It doesn't affect me
I ain't going to object
Life is ******* funny
And I am a creature of habit
I clear away the debris
With a machine gun
I feel the night terrors
The animal inside of me
Nov 2015 · 780
Inside My Head
Come along
It's a free for all
I hear a song
Playing out of tune
Is it a crow's call
I listen to
Reminding me of death
I beckon for a breath
Take away the pain
Killing me softly
Driving me insane
Voices inside my head
Wishing for the end
Last in line
For a clamor of night
And this hell I am in
Is taking it's toll
What was bright
Is now faded
Lonely road to nowhere
Can now take me to the nothingness
Inside my head
Nov 2015 · 255
More Of The Truth
My shadow turns and run, I'm left trying to catch up with it. I'm feeling quite shy, out of place, like I don't quite belong with the world outside. I want to hide, bury my face in a pillow, not be bothered with by anyone. I want to feel a part of but where can I go that I can also remain invisible. I'd rather be by myself than take the chance, too much hurt and pain has me at a glance. I try reaching out for help but I'm left by myself, wondering if life is even worth going the extra mile. I hope things are okay but is it worth the while. I feel like I need a doctor, someone to put the pieces together, lock me up so I don't run away, and be indignant of others who were always there for me. There was my family, they tried to help but never really understood me. There were my friends, they thought I was seeking attention which was more of the truth. Society, who liked to make fun and ridicule me. Through it all I came out the other side still confused and losing my mind but it's not so much what I feel inside but what I do about it, trying to forget myself and help someone else out.
Nov 2015 · 741
Beauty Eludes Me
Beauty eludes me
Dabbling in the darkness
I awaken to the abyss
I fall to my knees
And pray for grace
But I feel it's too late
For a soul like me
I can only see the shade
The night terrors that are made
I cry myself to sleep
Waiting impatiently
The busyness of life takes hold
And I've been down a lonely road
I've been in dire
Cast into the fire
Walking along with shame
Dwarfed between a fine line
Wondering if I'm insane
Can't seem to find a way out
I have gone blind
Missing out on what is beautiful
All because of the darkness
Gripping my soul
Nov 2015 · 291
Ready
I've been baptized twice, and God himself couldn't save me when I wasn’t ready.
Nov 2015 · 189
Changing (10w)
I"m not the same person I used to be people
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