I seem to be stuck in this spiral
falling in and out of love
being washed under the waves
and I'm fighting for air.

Flipping threw my old yearbook
I see girls who were once gorgeous
tooken my the devils hand
pregnant and life beaten now
horrendous
I remember seeing them
with there cheerleading outfits on
As I sat in a corner by myself
I here them laughing and chatting
about going to tonys house after school
I remember tony strong handsome captain of the highschool world
I saw him two weeks ago
With his hands covering his face
And a shot next to him
3 empty beers infront
He really let himself go I remember thinking
fat and forgotten about
still clinging to that highschool dream
I remember him saying I was a loser as he flipped my lunch tray
and humiliated me by reading my little notebook of writes
I remember saying to him
one day ill have the last laugh
one day ill see you down and out
and you'll ask me for a handout
going back to the bar I sit down
A couple stools down to see if he recognised me
He finished his 3 beers as I finished my long island ice tee
he said to the bar tender I gotta ***
be right back
I followed him to the restroom
and we were a ****** apart
I looked over and seen his small patheic *****
as I looked at my *****
I laughed
and I laughed
and I laughed
looked over at tony
and said see sir
I did get the last laugh
and I left
I hope he knows me now
I hope he knows me now

Helpers helping the Helpless
Helpless helping the Helpers
Helpers Killing the Helpless
Helpless praying for the Helpers
One day The Helpers will be the Helpless
One day The Helpless will be Helping
and Soon oh Soon they will both be Helped
by something Higher
The Ulmighty Helper
The Ulmighty Helpess
But who Helps the Higher One?

Our lives are kinda like comets
just waiting to run into something
so it eventually stops.

A old gentleman in a bar was sitting next to a very beat up man this tattered man He wore no shoes
He smelled
He was soaking wet and looked very pale.
The old gentleman bought the  man a beer
and ask him what his story was
the man told him that he was once a successful buissness owner
a man of high class and standard.
He wore the finest clothes,
wore the most beautufl jewelry,
and went on amazing journeys.
The old gentleman began to laugh
he sipped his drink
looked over the man and asked him what happened
the man told him that he was driving out in the country comming home from a buissness meeting
He said he had been drinking and reached for his scotch when he
looked up
his car swirved in the lake
water seaped in
He said " water came rushing in so fast"
the old gentleman looked down at his beer
looked up
and the man was nowhere to be seen
he asked the bar keep if he saw where the man went
the bar keep insisted that the old gentleman was crazy that he saw the old gentleman  talking to himself...
suddenly
The old Gentleman heard a voice over the television " Good evening we have breaking news it appears that Lyon Lemon Owner of Inka Industries has gone missing. Police have recovered his viechle but with no trace of Lyon inside it. They've issued scuba divers to search for the Lyons body. We will keep you posted on this story.

The old gentleman suddenly felt quezzy and uneasy. His lips dried, his skin went clammy, and his hair stood on the back of his neck. He knew he had seen Lyon not moments ago in the bar. The old gentle dropped a handfull of silver and paper on the counter and rushed out.

Javier Timble once a Master Con Artist and a Cheat was now the one being fooled and tricked with. He knew the game that was being played on him and he was to have no part of being set up for a ******. Timble was shakened but was far from scared. As he walked out the bar he noticed wet footprints. But they were forming as if someone was walking. Timble again felt the rush of adrenline come into his heart he began to mutter to himself and wonder what kind of trick this was. Javier stepped slowly towards the footprints and noticed that there was letters forming on the wall to the right of him. slowly the words formed out to say "InKa"

******* who dont tip
******* who Beat Girls and give them fat lips
******* who drink thier white wines
******* who tell lies
******* who steal whats mine
******* who finish a joke without knowing the punch line
******* who will be at the end of this cocked 9
******* who give you tequilla without a lime
******* who are running low on time
******* who have no spine
******* ******* *******
etc etc etc

I'm the pen your the paper
let me lay my ink on you dear

Tiny dancer
tiny dancer
Love my hands
Love me
Tell me im handsom
and you wanna dance with me all day
In the sand
In the shade
oh the smell of jade
and your perfect hair
and your pretty face
Elton sings your sweet song
and we both count the headlights
listening to one headlight
by the wall flowers
and lennon tells me
Don't loose your head
like I did
tell her she dances so good
in your weary head
kiss her face
And tell her
That
she's
your
tiny
dancer
In your
head

Lovable
I really wanna be Lovable
Have someone who checks on me
with little how are ya's
or how ya doings
But Im just ingnorable
easily forgotten
waiting
for something to stick

the smoke it pours slowly out
my shadow seems to be following a little further behind
I'm loosing my grip on this steering wheel
Swivin in and out of traffic
I see Minivans and 18 wheelers
honking and blazing thier horns
I'm struggling to stay awake
but only 2 more hours and I'll be home
I dig in my glove compartment and pull out
a pre rolled cigarete and my Oney Box
I spark the cig and pack me a little one hitter
puff them both down fast
and drink my 3 hour old coffe I got at some rumie gas station
its cold as ****
but it'll do the trick
I scratch my eyes and my *****
and turn up the radio The Current is a little to Indie for this night ride
So I put on 93.6 The Blaze and listen to some As I Lay Dieing
Ironic I have'nt died yet....
I listen and tune in
and then I tune out as the white dotted line
directs me towards home
where my dog awaits
to greet me
it's been a long trip
yes it has

Sirens and drunk laughter
outside my window
burnt ciggerete butts
Empty cases
outside my window
no flowers grow
outside my window
only people peeing
outside my window
***** ***** **** traffic
no white fence
outside my window
a group of lowlifes
junkies and *******
outside my window
wouldn't mind seeing a garden
or a hot girl tanning
outside my window
Walk outside
****** and drunk person
puking
outside my window
moving soon moving soon moving soon
where ill see a backyard outside my window

I came to you in a dream
my fingers bleed
writin you
invisble letters
people read
No one knows me here
while I lay in a unknown house
slowly memories creep on me
memories of holding hands
and popcorn
and popcorn
and popcorn

I remember long ago
I prayed to find a love that will
last a lifetime
As I grow older
this is more and more of a dream

I kiss the sky
as this toxin runs in my viens
I see your eyes
as mine roll in the back of my head

I found my first love
and by the 3rd I lost all my self esteem
as the nice guy vanishes
Im replaced
by hate and greed

I wrap my mind around
how I never was good enough
I slap my hands against these walls
and I remember how much you ment to me

I found my first love
and by the 3rd I lost all my self esteem
as the nice guy vanishes
Im replaced
by hate and greed

I see clearly now
that this was just a ******* game you played
and I feel sorry for the next guy
hope he knows how much of a lie a cheat you are
Go away
Get out of my way
get out of my brain
let this love bleed out my open viens

I found my first love
and by the 3rd I lost all my self esteem
as the nice guy vanishes
Im replaced
by hate and greed

running


running


sirens


sirens


runningrunning


jumping fences


running


running


back alley


dip


dive


hide


vroom vroom


sirens sirens


hold my breathe


running running


home

Im so awkward
Like I catch people
catching people catch me
Staring at them people
And I pretend like I don't hear them
Saying ***
look at his tattoos
and all he ****** does is smoke cigs
And longboard
I see that in their yuppy *** faces
*** we got so rich and cool
And lost all your freedom
******* and your shrimp platter
and your ****** puma im gonna burns calories on the tredmil
Of every day rich life
My tredmil is living paycheck to paycheck
******* the world
and kissing a girl
cuz really the paychecks pay for our ways to get laid

My hands reach for you now
but your so far away
what happened to the girl I use to know
is she in there
is she in there
waiting to be let free.
It seems this person is kidnapping you dear
and My fear is I'll never save you babe.
You've been taken over by hate my love
You've been taken over by Greed
The girl I knew before
would care more about Time well Spent
or sitting under a sunset and smoking a ciggerete slow
This woman I see doing her hair in the mirror is far from the woman
I use to know.
I'm sorry I have to go now
I can't see you in turmoil and try to save your soul
I tried to ask the Lord to watch over you
but you pushed his hand aside.
You know it's a brutal ride
being inlove with a woman who isnt inlove with herself.

I wanted to be your great escape but you ended up pulling a great escape
your heart faded away
and your makeup pealed off
and your real face showed
I wanted to save you before
before your own demons consumed you
I wanted to be your Constantine
But I guess I didnt reach you in time.

I hope I see you in the next life
and I get another chance
But maybe its just fate
to keep crossing paths
and really never figuring out
where things went bad.

flithy fresh
tattered *****
trash talkin ****
got a gimp limp
front tooth chipped
got chip dip on my lip
dont even tip
take a sip out of your drink at the club
scrub but your girlfriend love me
im a sleezeball
a goofie kid that usually uses roofies but
passes out before they kick in
im a mess
Gutter Crunk
Regular Gutter punk
snatched up your junk
and made myself a nice hunk of doe
so now im driving drunk smashin yard gnomes
blowin whippets to the dome
up inside your home
eating all your food and smashing your ***

A young man was once feared of being called gay
so he went out for baseball and every other sport boys played
he tryed hard in gym, became homecomming king, and went through the birds and the bees
he even had the ladies crawling back on thier knees
he joined the army
he would be the most masculine example he would imagine he was happy
but deep down he feared he still might be gay
he had a way about him that other people caught unto
they noticed he'd make rings and such in his free time
just because the boy liked to sew
and make prettys things that would shine and glow
he figured he had a touch of ****
he figured because he liked bright things
and occasionally would watch a few chick flicks and cry
that he was'nt man enough
that he was'nt tough enough
because in america boys dont cry
thier taught to hold there feelings inside
and soon this man was withered and old
and through the years he gave up on the bright things
he figured he'd rather be unhappy then thought of as gay
so the day that he was on his deathbed
he finally admitted it

Id **** to go back home
where my bedroom still looks the same
where my mom takes my ***** laundry away to be cleaned
but my ***** laundry piles up now
and I wanna go home
where my laundry doesnt sit in the corner for me to look at

when i get tired
true vibrations
marky mark
and my funky ****
you say its bunk
one hit
and you on the top bunk
bunk beds as kids
jumpin matress to matress
now i dream of a girlfriend and a mistress
when we all kiss
i ******* first kiss
i want but i cant have
your with a better man
i was a lost cause
and i know
i listned i learned i taught myself not to
hurt
not to hurt
but to say shes doing better
cross my heart and hope to stunt
cuz
i aint
no punk

Family Bound
My Family means everything too me
Got a brother in the Navy He's married got a beautiful
wife too.
He's enjoyin the beautiful sunsets in the city where Micky Cohen use to own.
Got my other brother whos a gear head, a knucklehead, works on knuckle heads, and hes my knuckles too.
Me and him use to get into it throw a little bruises around but **** has he made me proud
went to the city where you can cook eggs on the sidewalk Pheonix.
Went to school too work on bikes and now works at Harley.... this means for me free tee shirts and cool biker partys too go to
hot women in leather pants and mean dudes with long goatees.
My Mom shes a healer, a bible dealer, and the leader of a womens AA program but is married to a Ex-convict, Ex-felon, Ex-drug dealing, Ex-******
I never understood why she goes for trying to heal men maybe it's because shes been trying to fix all of her 3 boys and thats the only way she knows how to love a man. Either way I love her too death and it'll be death if that man decides to lay a hand on her again... you'll see something that only Hades eyes have seen but enough about that loser... Unto my Old man.
My pops hes a machine mechanic a use too be psychobath maniac tatted up with rough hands, palms always itching and eyes always looking out for his family. He once told me Jay " You Gotta Pay to Play" and those words have stuck with me for some reason for a long *** time. He always has these little one liners that just make ya get back to reality,wipe your nose clean, put your head up and stand up straight and get back to the money. So thats my blood thats what makes my heart beat everyday knowing that my family gots my back to succeed.

And 2Morrow  


Today is filled with anger
fueled with hidden hate
scared of being outcast
afraid of common fate
Today is built on tragedies
which no one wants 2 face
nightmares 2 humanities
and morally disgraced
Tonight is filled with rage
violence in the air
children bred with ruthlessness
because no one at home cares
Tonight I lay my head down
but the pressure never stops
knawing at my sanity
content when I am dropped
But 2morrow I c change
a chance 2 build a new
Built on spirit intent of Heart
and ideals
based on truth
and tomorrow I wake with second wind
and strong because of pride
2 know I fought with all my heart 2 keep my
dream alive

I send lil paper ships sailing down the curb
as the crows and the vultures attack the trashcans in the suburbs
I watch the rich kids driving there nice whips
but they are a bunch of wimps
one punch in there lip
one kick in the knees
and they'd just limp away
because even though im a poor kid
ive lived more life
even though they call me skid
even though im a skinny kid
id still bust all over your girlfreinds ****
and in the black light she would shine like a florecent lightbulb
while your sitting on your golf cart
im making **** noises on the belly of your women
making her my mistress
making the matress squeak
as my lil paper ship sails down
who would've known what was happening when i was making it
now were both laughing
because when you get home
your gonna be kissing my ****
ha
ha
ha

girl you in danger
bad as a power ranger
understand i got a fever
phil collins
in the air tonight
your body goes back forward sideways
bout to send your *** back to college
for your major she says
oo you so sauve
i go you go both ways
more foreplay
have her hittin dolphin notes
no boat or a yacht
but im renting out this one place
and if your down id like to take your mans place
she says just shutup dont ruin the moment

My hearts a Orphan and It's Looking for a new home

I use to believe in love and fate
But now its all about the game we all play
no ballroom dancing or good dates
No more meeting at the malt shop or at the movie gate
its more let's get drunk
****
and forget about eachother
A world of each person whoreing the next person out
oh how I wish i lived in the old days
Where holding hands ment something
and heart breaks were spilt over milkshakes

Call me weird or twisted
but I like myself some nasty *******
toss them around like im cleaning dishes
they are all easy fishes in a barrel
I roll em around till they call me collin ferrel
im a skinny lil *******
I can hog tie a girl without a lasso
firemans carry into my den
Where i treat em like a rooster to a hen.
spank there *** and say that was fun
do it again?

Paint
Glitter
Highlighters
Water
Glow in the dark
Sharpie markers
Canvas
Red Bull
Cigarettes
Lighter
Sparklers
Feathers
Chronic
Uppers
Downers
Middlers
Extravagent
4th dimension
hyper being
Nocturanal Drug Fiend
Best Friend to the Speaker
Bass
Middle Fingers
Breakdowns
womp
womp
womp

when the time is right
when the times are good
I lived in apartments smack dab in the hood
I remember the tweakers and the town drunks
use to knock on my door when I lived in the slums
Use to give them water
and a place to sleep
woke up thinking will they be there to greet
they always were gone
And I fell back to sleep.
the moment I moved away from this place
I felt kinda fake
pretending I was rich
And my heart felt fake
I still often wonder if they knock on the door
and instead of a couch they get a curb or a floor

I remember I was scared to death
the first time I had a girl alone with me
I remember thinking
do I just pull it out and present it
Or do I wait for her to ask to see it
or do I just sit here and talk untill she says "are we gonna do this"
Or do I go "are we gonna do this"
instead we watched like 2 hours of random tv, talked, I showed my Tattoos
she Showed me ones that she will be getting someday on her body.
And then it Happened the sign
The flip of the hair
The little Flutter of the eyes
I knew I had to make my move
So I said "I've been looking at you since I first saw you and wondered what'd be like to kiss you"
she says "well are you gonna keep wondering or do it"
We begin to make out in the back of my head im praying she doesnt start using tounge
because im horrible at french kissing. Luckily it didn't happen
As I begin to rub her back I unsnap her braw with one hand
which I never did before that.
The shirt came off smoothly and I looked at a set of amazing little perky *******.
I tasted her flesh surrounding this tender area
and took my shirt off
revealing my skrany tatted up body.
She began to push down on me and soon as  was on my back and she was Hovered over me.
I remember thinking to myself THIS IS AWESOME.
just as she thought she was in controll I flipped her over brushed my hands down her hips.
AND IT HAPPENED the moment you know your getting laid (my brother told me this before)
The slight arch of her back just enough for me to remove her pants in a swift motion.
The rest is history
or should I say Herstory.
I remember the next day going to school
and later on seeing her at parties
and eventually I never seen her again
somehow or another she just vanished
to this day I dont Know where she is
but **** can I remember everything about that night
her outfit down to her ear rings
what song I had playing (Tupac How do You Want It)
the nervous tick  I do with my thumb nails clicking them haha.
she asked me if This was my first time ( I replied yes)
She told me that I was her first also (not like first)
but first time actaully being made love too.
she said I knew exactly what to do
and that she never had a man actaully take his time with her.
I brushed her hair back
and whispered in her ear ( in all the seas and all the lakes I found  mermaid by mistake)
my little way of saying she was speacil.
I've never found another mermaid is what im getting at
and honestly after all the girls past present a future
I'll never have another night like that
so if your out there Aubrey
this writings for you

today I realized that I'm perfect with who I'am
atlast in my life I know who I'am
What things im good at and what I need to work on
IM NOT PERFECT
infact im fragile and weak
I'm scared of knowing so much about myself
It's the truth
I KNOW who I can become
either good or bad
I know what the future holds
for my good decisions or my bad
If only today myself could talk to the young boy who struggled so long
trying to be someone he was not.
I'd tell that boy to not follow the crowd that he thought was so cool
That to listen to your mother
to stay away from the drugs
even if the other kids called him a loser for not playing along
The really unique kids are the ones who dont follow the normal teenage rebellion
the real rebels are the ones who study hard
hang out alone
and even wish they could go out and get hammered drunk and puke everywhere
or sleep with a random girl not for love but just for ***.
But they dont
I want to tell my rebel self to be a true rebel like those kids
the kids who later on in life
will have money to go out and enjoy the things I enjoyed as a rebel teenager
to be able to hang out with there grown up friends and to fun doing grown up things.
Instead I'm a 24 year old sandwhich artist
the teachers always said keep partying you'll look back and regret these days
I told them they'll regret saying that when I make it big
years of writing
years of sitting up late with a bottle of ***** and a lit cigarette
like my life a long ash forms off the cherry as it burns waiting for the whieght of itself to break off.
I KNOW who I'am
I'm a voice for this plugged in generation
I'm the sticky **** on the bottom of your shoe
I'm the viper in a room full of gardner snakes
I'm the demon with a halo
a hybrid of a soul
hell hound instincts
but a butterflys swagger
soft but hard
sweet but sour
I'm the reason for a middle
im the reason why things stay balanced
for not for people like me
the Balanced
the Beaten
the hardened and the Understanding
the Counter Attack
the person who has seen the roughest parts in life
has been down to pennys to his name
Im here to tell you dont give up
because even during the rain the sun can shine
those days amaze me
when its pouring but sunny
Does it make since no
but do we watch in amazement when it happens
yes
That my friends is me
thats who I'am

Chili Powder infiltrates my kitchen
Oh boy Oh boy This is bitchen
I Flip the switch to Domestic Housewife
sharp knifes and measuring cups
I reach untop of the stove
to Find my Spatula
Flip my meat I got cooking
check the clock
as my buzzer rings
I stir the crock ***
My onions are suateed
My face is melting
But cooking
relieves me
I know that this will all pay off
when my friends walk in
Super Bowl Sunday
Even Jesus would sport sweatpants and his favorite teams Jersey

I get *** 24/7
I pick up fat girls
skinny girls
both young and old
I like men too both young and old
I here every word
that comes out your lips, tounge, and cheaks
I sit around like a creep and just watch as you sit
I occasionally eat a little bird ****
but I repay with a sliver in your wrist
now you gotta complain and ***** about what I did
I've gone down in history as something truly important
people have sat and planned things I felt the first peice of cement fall from 9/11
I've been the first person to here about the wedding ring
Heard about the death of your mother or father before your family did
But I'll be here to sit your tired legs
I'll comfort you
I'll cherish every moment spent with you
I'll never kiss and tell
I"ll be your shoulder to cry on or your ear when you wanna yell
even though you'll look crazy
I'll never make fun of you
or send you away
thanks for stopping by
just feed the pigeons and watch them sit and play

The smell of the day stung my nostrils
As the cold air swept over my bare face.
I looked to the north and saw an Eagle carrying a Squirrel in its talons.
For some reason I thought of death at this exact moment.
All things must come to an end
That Squirrel was probably just chilling eating some nuts a minute ago
And then WAM the talons of death grabs its flimsy body.
I thought of my own death
I thought of myself as that squirrel just waiting for death to swoop me up.
I don’t fear death
But I do fear the waiting for my death.
I fear that I'll be taken while I'm trying to fix something in my life and never get the chance to accomplish it.
I have a fear of leaving unfinished things behind.
People always ask why I take my time so much
Why I'm never in a hurry.
I simply tell them I don’t want to
Leave this world
With something left unsaid or undone.
If I'm going to leave
I'm going to know that I at least finished my nuts (going back to the squirrel)
Their always in such a hurry and always leave unfinished nuts behind
If you watch them
They just run around
Dropping nuts
On their little journeys.
While the Eagle glides above them patiently waiting for their moment to strike.
I see death above me gliding waiting for its moment
Waiting for the perfect time to take my soul
And carry it off into the sunset.

Funk
Jam Wam goes my Trunk
Punk kids rage and unleash the beast of the party out the cage
Hippie kidz just melt
felt there heat
you see there bodies fall to the ground
the Rock kids mosh and make the concert burn down like pete tosh
We were funky hipsterz watchin the motion of the devotion of these kidz gettin down
we were funky monkeys just swinggin and a singing
pretty girlz jewelry gleamin
ya they caught me peakin
**** I was geekin and cheezin
would'nt you
Funkin A

all these words you promise
you think your such a godess
really you'll crash like everyone else
when i look at you
i see your secret words you preach
behind the close doors and the sheets
you think your so sneeky
but really your clear as bleach
and your stuck on my skin like a leach
so practice what you preach
and listen to what you teach
please get to walking
down that one way street

skater kids doing flip tricks
motion of a jelly fish
they glide
they move faster then space and time
in thier minds
there rulers of this city
and how they make it look so pretty
they tremble with excitment
carvin there names into history
twish twish the sound of there shoe laces rubbin the pavement
they roll front and center
spray paint cans in hand
tag there names across the land
bandanas cover there faces
they leap the staircases
they are merely a imagination
swoop in grab a few cases
drink while they ride
taking pictures of the night sky
with no camera
but plenty of eyes
oh how they move
the wind carries them in a silent groove
how do we understand this nature
of kids kicking and pushing into a future
full of trial and error
they have there own flavor
a taste of danger
aromas of marijuana lingure
in the crisp air
the wind flows through thier hair
they have not one care
they have there own melody
metal clinking
wheels scrapping
car horns screaming
as they come flying into traffic
because that gap could've been tragic
when they land it
they know that it was some kid of magic
they kick on pushing
wheels creaking like floor boards in the attic
tired they ride till the sun brings its shine
when all there wonders can be seen by any traveling eye

Running threw the fields of existance
time and distance
******* your brain
prepare to go insane
once you ditch your rules and regulations
and simply live
fall of the train
walk the crooked line
punch the world in its face
and prepare to go into space
cosmic love making
star *******
galaxie *******
turn off the world
turn on and spiral out of controll
but in this
you will find controll
of your body
and your soul

I got a  little canoe
and set sail to the moon
I took my bandanna and pulled it tight.
Grand Dads bottle of Makers Mark was my good supply
some Marlboro Smooths and a old swiss army knife incase I got shipwrecked.
I cashed in my last paycheck and told my boss I wasn't comming back
I had a Full Moon to catch and the sun was already setting.
I ran into Johnny **** Eyes at Holiday Gas Station and asked if he had any of them mushrooms still and if he had a extra couple hits of acid..... "Infact he replied I just got myself a quarter and about a 10 strip of acid for myself but your going to the moon right... in that old *** canoe your Grand Dad gave you when he passed away. I replied " Yeah Johnny I got a Harvest Moon thats not gonna be waiting long mind if you just toss me a deal and give me the whole shabang." I pulled a friend card and mentioned the time I hooked him up with 4 double stack X pills back in the day and also cut him a deal on a Rothbury ticket. Needless to say he handed that **** over. So back to the river shore where I began the tale I was scared of what was to come, I was scared to just leave without anyone knowing.  I put on my old converse sneakers strapped up my suspenders put a little engine oil in my hair to slick it back and rolled my sleaves up in my flannel said a little prayer to Grand Dad that his canoe would make it... I remember watching him build it with his strong hands before the parkinsons kicked in... I remember him telling me that this ****** could go to the moon and back.... so I popped 3 hits of acid took a big swig out of the Makers Mark, Lit a Cig and said to the sky well Grand Dad you better be right.... You better be right

So I always said I would'nt "date" a girl I work with
when I say "date" I mean have *** with.
"dates" are not real nomore
"dates" are only leading to both of you gettin a feel to have *** anyways
so why not just have *** and then go out on "dates" that way all the *******
get in your pants lines are already out of the way
and the real questions can start.
But I'm craving to have this girl
I'm chewing on the side of my cheek
and the blood is soaking into my mouth
and I just want her so bad.
Shes from Sudan
so She's so dark, tall,pretty.
I asked her out one night on the city
and we walked around and ate icecream
it was a nice "date"
it was even better
when I heard her screams in my apartment
later on that night.

Your magical mayhem
Oh How I love your drama
your Hystertical you make me
wanna choke the Love out of you
But once again you grab the string above my head
you beautiful puppet master
you manipulater
you watch me crumble
you laugh
you love breaking me down
but you build me up with your madness
for we are dysfunctional to some lovers
but its the only love i know
a beaten broken heart still works
just the ticking is a minute short
fragments of my love for you scattered on the ground just like the lamp I busted over your head
we lay in bed
I kiss you tasting the dry tears
Oh how I love your drama
sweet puppet master

Ha you could never dance
we were always stepping on eachother toes
and it wasn't easy
and it wasn't easy
keeping up with the beat
but my hands
they guided us to the dance floor for some odd reason
we always were clumsy but our clumsyness
always seemed kinda flauntlessly cute
Im makin up words now
just to explain how horribly sweet we were
and your new guy is a great dancer
but I seen you at the bar
and johnny cash played
and you didn't wanna look at me
but you did
and I seen your heart break
yeah
I seen your heart break

I sit back and gobble down my dinner
Ramen mixed with Ranch
I sit back and kick my feet up
in this old recliner
it creaks and shifts as my skinny ***
sinks into its old cushion
I smell a cigarette burning
I taste its poison
I finish my meal and flip on the news
murders and weather mixed
with pity to our dieing soldiers
In the midst of this choas
I find happiness
that my day only consist of a ****** meal
and a old chair
Im not that mother holding back her tears
Im not that soldier holding back his fears
and I'm far from the bad weather that devastates
suburbs and already beat down buildings
I'm not that volunteer picking threw dead bodies
and rain soaked pictures of peoples lifes once lived.
Im simply a guy with a couple holes in his beaten converse sneakers
I'm simply a guy who watches the evening news
as I think about the things I could do
But then my laziness sets in
and I just sit back and listen.

your a hot little mess
with your hair tied in two pig tails
and your skirt flirting with you knees.
Your little *** is bouncing and I'm sipping my drink
just watching you move around.
All the handsome boys are sure all over you tonight
but you just came to drink for free and watch them fight over you.
I love when there is a good jukebox in the bar
because Thats where I truly shine
I throw in some Yeah Yeahs Yeahs go back to my stool and sip my drink
all the handsome boys go to playing pool because they know shes not here to go home
but like I said the Jukebox is my ticket in.
I see her walk up and ask if I'm drinking alone
I tell her well I was...

Wrestle to find the light switch
Dancing
can't find the light switch
**** this
unzip
ahhhhh
oh ****
forgot to lift the toliet seat up

So stoked
Dry spell done
Met a good one
not in the bar
threw hard work and dedication
she amazing
and ya were just texting
But a connection sparked
Like a eagle scout
I chipped away rock to flint
Now I see her
and its picture perfect

lookin and staggerin
drinking and hollerin
spillin and trippin
a mess
got a lil puke on my left cheak
and dude can barely speak
look like a serious creep
but into the bar I go
right across from the AA Club what a ****** joke
how the hell do you exspect me to feel good drunk
thinking about all those sober punks
drivin new cars, clean cut, and got wifes with big butts
the only butts ill be seein tonight are the end of my cigs
what a pathetic guy
i here a girl whisper
2 stools down sittin by some handsome guy
so I finish my bottle of wine
walk over
look her straight in the eyes
and tell her shes right

Little tiny clippings of nails
scattered on the floor
my temper is angry
and I cant hold it no more
do you see my eyes bulging
my hands cluntched tightly
my breathing is heavy
and there holes in the door
I taste the blood trickling
it drips on the floor
one drip
two trips
a thrid
and a fourth
I loose track of my cigarette
now its all scorched
Im pacing and racing
troubled for ever more
I throw my beer can off the back of the porch
and torch up a bowl
to cure my pulsing heart
my knuckles crack as I press them to my face
I see the bruises swelling
thier purples green and blues
mix ever so nicely like a sharp beat up suit
do you understand the torture
of knowing you'll die
when the ***** runs out
and your shivering at night
I smell the puke tried in my nose
and see it all running down the side of my clothes
when oh when will I understand
that **** almighty I'm just like my dad
a drunken soar ******* a **** for the juice
I've burnt down ever bridge and managed to make some up too
I'm a chamleaon to this world
I change and I move
I'm not much of a lier though
thats once thing I could never do
I could run this on forever
Till the sun comes threw my shutter
but I just popped some perocets and sniffed some Speacil K
so I suppose this poem was great
but tomarrow is anew and my fate awaits
farewell
farewell
farewell

The rain pours down
and my hands feel each drop
as my frown gets drowned out in the storm
my happiness burts like the sun threw the clouds
I embrace the thunder and the lighting
because I know this storm will pass
and the light will bake my skin
God has my life from here on out
and I'm perfectly okay
being swept away in this flood
of emotion.

I was welcomed at hells gates
I was expecting a little more fire
Instead there was a line of people
And the body odor was terrible.
I looked around to see if I'd see anyone I knew
I always get so uncomfortable in lines
I hate them actually.
Every time I reached the front
I would get sent all the way to the back all over again.
I got a bad feeling in my gut
That this was it
This was my Hell.
I dug around in my pockets
And found a note that said
Welcome to Hell.
I got so thirsty sitting in that **** line
And I kept looking and I saw a water fountain
Kind of strange for Hell to have this glorious Culligan Water fountain
I knew the water would be so cold and delicious.
I walked towards the Water Fountain and went to take a drink
And all it did was spray me in the face
But the water never was able to quench my thirst.
this has always been a fear of mine
A Water Fountain spraying me in my face.
I was starting to get discouraged coming back and forth from the
****** water fountain back into the horrible stinking line of people.
I thought I'd at least be able to get into Hell.
It seemed like an eternity before I got to the Gates again
And when I finally reached them
I was greeted by The Devil Himself
He said "Sorry that took so long we got a special place for you here"
I looked him up and down
And the guy really wasn't wall that scary
I mean he had this sinister look to him
But nothing like I expected
Honestly I was a little disappointed.
I asked him where do you got me staying after all these years I'm finally here
And I'll be honest I'm not very impressed.
No demons
No Fire
No Heavy Metal Music
I don’t even see ****** or Ted Bundy
I was really hoping these cats would be here.
Honestly this place is pretty dead.
Like a really ****** bar that no one wants to be in
It's like I’m drinking alone in this Dive Bar.
I was just in line with
All these ******* people
And none of them are here!

Tell me why this is
Why did all those people suddenly vanish?
And I got in
And NO ONE IS HERE!

The Devil looked at me
Took my hand
And told me congratulations
All the other people asked to be saved by Jesus
And you just kept standing there praying that you could get into this
******* gate, sit down, and have some water.
The Devil pulled up a chair
Poured a glass of water
And Said Welcome to Hell.

We lit a couple smokes
Poured a nice strong glass of Jameson
And watched the Gates for the next sucker to fall for the trick.