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 Oct 2013 Jaimee Michelle
Allison
I was going to write a poem about you again
Crying
In my bed wrapped in a ball
Thinking about old stupid ****
That made me so worthless and powerless
Then I stopped
I think I don't care anymore
I mean I care
But I don't
About anything
About nothing at all
I'm worthless
I hate every single inch of myself
And I know I've been blaming you for me hating myself
And its mostly you
The mental part but
Half of its my fault
I hate everything about my 5'5 ,150 pound body
I hate looking at myself
I hate the way I made myself
I'm so unhappy
And I know I could wake up and say
Well, it's time to Change and change myself
But
I can't
I can't move I can't feel anything anymore
I'm only 19
19 years of a ******* wasted life
Allison who?
Killing myself should not be a thought
But every night
He's my best thought
This poem is terrible
This wasn't even a poem
I just have no one to talk to
So I write on a website
God if only I was brave enough
To lay at night
And just get it over with.
for you to *******
i dont want your attention
i never was seeking it
so ******* and take your *******
"attention" with you
because you wont understand
and you wont help
so ****
off
no one comment i dont want any comments
 Oct 2013 Jaimee Michelle
-
Relapses* are ****
but the pain
brings *relief

I'm a true
*******

I'm not saying
that relapses are good
I'm just saying
the pain drowns
all the bad

I lose myself
in order to feel
I'm not fully aware or conscious
but the pain makes me feel whole

Happiness always leaves
but the pain remains
and it makes me feel
so much more less alone

Sadness is not a choice
although sometimes
it's all we possess
when life gets rough

Misery is not beautiful
or in any way nice
but I am so used to it
it's become a part of my daily life

I have tried to separate myself
from this terrible state of mind
but it's too late for me to fix this
**the old me has been left behind
© Natali Veronica 2013.
 Oct 2013 Jaimee Michelle
Allison
No one ever told me about the feeling when someone falls out of love with you.
No one told me about the heart break after it all.
All these fairy tales and love movies never show you the real pain behide love.
Love is not a beautiful thing.
I would probably say I hate love.
Sadly but love never works out for me.
I'm always the one to love to much.
And get heart broken in the end.
I'm always the one who gets way to attached and when you leave me
I can't cope.
I replay every reason why you would leave me.
What did I do wrong?
Over thinking is one hell of a drug.
Cause it can destroy you.
It can tear you piece by piece
Until there's nothing left of you.    
I would love to see a fairy tale
That shows me the princess
Falling in love with the prince
Who didn't love her
Like she loved him
And her getting heart broken and maybe I'll understand love a little bit better
Then I do now.
 Oct 2013 Jaimee Michelle
-
I don't write to impress
or to be a part of
a writing cult
I write to express
hoping that
people can relate
nothing more
nothing less
so think of that
before you comment
on my personal poems
© Natali Veronica 2013.

kinda annoyed right now. needed to vent.
 Oct 2013 Jaimee Michelle
Allison
It's 1:34 and all I crave is you. All I want it your touch. Your hands. Your smile. Everything about your disgusting soul I want. You don't want me anymore because I already gave you my soul and my heart and you ripped and stole both of them like the pro you are. Your beautiful ways that I don't care personality god I want it all again. I want it all back in my bed at 3am when my parents were yelling at me for you to leave. I want your body back on my body. Your hands on my hands. Your lips god your lips I want more then anything. Can I be one of those girls at your school you see everyday? Can I be that guitar you play? Can I just be yours again? I don't think you were ever mine but god I was yours. I craved your name into my skin just to have a piece of you on me. Every now and again I stare at those pictures of you and me heart broken crying. Why the **** did you make me fall? Why did you say all the right words and leave me cold and broken to the thought of that song you sung to me? Why can't I get every thought of your beautiful eyes looking at me out of my mind? I can't move on I can't look at boys and laugh and be happy. I can't even think about a life without you without cutting my skin away. You made me feel things I never ever felt before. I'm not the one to be ****** over and believe me baby people know that but with you I wouldn't mind you ******* with my mind again and again and again. Come back and destroy me like you like too. Come back and break me more piece by piece. Come hit me come push me around. Just come to me for I can have you again. Hate me. Tell me that you wish you never met me. Just do something so I can have you in my life. Your beautiful did you know that? Didn't you know I would do anything for you like I told you? Didn't you know that I could of been the one to be with you forever? You say no one cares for you but darling, I care, I care. Come back so I can love you like you know I do. Come back
 Oct 2013 Jaimee Michelle
Sir B
Speechless
Yes, I understand.

My presence does nothing
I know
Just. Why are you after me! I am not good enough. (I am sorry for comparing myself) Please. I am not in a good situation to deal with it right now. I have addressed it to you multiple times. If it doesn't suffice. Read the link below.

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/chill-out-to-bs-friends/

Just. I am not okay with this thing. Yes. I would like to be loved for. But its a fantasy for me.
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