You are the heavy rain,
I am the grassland
plagued with drought.
Love me, cover me,
help me heal myself.

She was the sort of girl who wore her pain like a mask. Concealing every flicker of hope that could show, in case the demons that lurked in corners snatched that hope away and gobbled it up into their ever-hungry bellies. She was the girl who saw constellations in the faces of those she loved most but black holes in her own irises, and the all too familiar fear that was like a second shadow to her, cloaking her and making her see cities burn in her dreams and worlds die at her feet. She was the storm and the calm, broken and whole. She was all and nothing at once, and when that was too much pressure she became the whirlpool of pain she had always kept leashed. This girl collapsed in on herself and the world held its breath until she resurfaced.
It is still holding its breath.

I'll go to my grave
Like a moth to a flame
And the wax shall drip
On my wings
And amidst all the fire
And the putrid desire
Of wanting you
And your blessed things
That keep me awake
In the midnight earthquake
That tremors deep
In my soul
I'll love you in life
And death is no trife
I'll love you broken,
Mended, or whole.

There is a thirst in my heart that i cannot quench. The thirst for more
More love, more knowledge, more hope, more life. I am hollow inside despite the butterflies in my stomach and the stardust in my veins, I could swallow the universe and still be hungry I am broken and lost but there are maps on my eyelids and my heart is a compass i am learning to control. I will be swept away with every prominent wind and i will fall into oceans looking for that perfect grain of sand. I am not obsessed with perfection I am looking for you, under every rock and in every blade of grass, even in the roots of the trees that  were already here when the earth was new, i am searching and searching and i cannot find you. So i will stay here amidst the stars and hope that soon you will look up to the constellations and you will find me.

They closed my file at CAHMS, but I don't feel better, or happy.
I feel hollow. I have spilled my secrets, confessed my sins, and now there is nothing left of me that is mine and mine alone. Its been over a year since I was told I didn't need them anymore,
But I'm just worse.
This life is cold and cruel and its not getting better.

They'll tell you
That they want you
And they need you
And they love you
But the truth is
Love is a dog from hell
And you're just a stack
Of bones

we are in constant turmoil
Always thinking
Always judging
Over evaluating the possibilities
Life after death,
Death before life
Heaven, hell,
Twisted carnage of dreams
Thinking that there is something,
Someone to greet us
When the veil of two worlds
Distinctly apart
But woven together
Shimmers and dies away
And we ask how, not why
how can there be life after death
Dear, I must assure you
Those are questions
That will remain unanswered
La Mort n'a peut-être
pas plus de secrets à nous
reveler que la vie

Their hatred sharper
Than the blade of my knife
Yet still they chose to ignore
The fact that they’re destroying me,
Situating me into oblivion.

Yet they expect forgiveness,
Whilst they reminisce
In the tragedy
They created for me.

I try to erase the events,
But blood is not lead
So I continue to scribe
Bold statements of pain,
Yet still they ignore.

They ignore
But do they adore
Seeing me shatter,
Breaking me into desolation
With no hope of revaluation,
No longer - can I be saved.

No need for a burial
Because I already weep
A watery grave.
But I ask,
Who is the weaker man?
Is it he who dies by his own hand,
Or they who abolish
The little hope that man had left.

The thing about love
Is that in the excitement
Of offering yourself
To someone you lust for
You have exposed
Your heart, your soul.
And in that lustful surrender,
You lose both.

The night is still
Holding it's breath
In anticipation of the charcoal clouds
That are rolling in
Like a rising tide,
And with whips and cracks
The skies break their banks
And rain pours forth
From the heavens
And the clouds collide
Like gunshots in the air,
Bones breaking against wind,
Light scatters across the atmosphere
A haze of purple and blue
Fleeting, but brilliant
Passionate, but deadly
A tremor that shakes the walls
Of brick and stone houses
A wound ripped in the sky
Electrical blood seeping through
the cracks and crevices.
The storm is upon you.