The whispered breath
From behind, against my sense
Of well worn, welcome
Back again, the lips left unsaid
Sad sad day or ringing
Clearly as a crowd of mourners
The day, so close I barely hear them
What is this non sense
I'm not, to his won't,
Echo in the eyes as I the ears
Might hear what my lips
Did not.

To take a direction all my own
Legs place distance bitter sweet
Mind is at war with life and love
With living and with being without
If I dared, I imagine turning around
I bet I could see you
The thought taxes the beat within
It never lets go, always longing
Even when it's not my wish for it to.

I've tried to be a good man
Done my best at parenting
Raising an incredible human being
Far far better then I have ever been.
It's the other areas that I lack luster
Romance less after three attempts
Horrible at the game of credit and imagined numbers leaving no room for changes.
I do my best to choose the avenue of success
To find I've missed that turn or am now head on wrong way traffic.
Day by day, job by job I pay my help and partner to find I've forgotten myself once more.  Sought self help without asking others assistance and developed a respect for binaural methods of entrancement.  Lean far too much on auto correct, and procrastinate on reflex most mundane tasks I'm faced with.  Breathing wrong and wasting ridiculous sums.  My aches and pains grow more pronounced each day.  Until I drop I'll have to bear through to keep a roof.  I've not one lifelong friend that I've kept close and I have no excuses for my lack of attempts.  I have forgotten boons that a good man would've returned equally if not more as soon as they could.  I do my best but all in all, I feel I've been mediocre at best.

I am not this vessel
I am fluid that will one day evaporate.
This vessel is half full.
And days seem hotter
Draining more and more
Until it rains again to fill it.
Then that fluid will do as I do.