Jack R Fehlmann

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

In the stagnant safety of my lower levels
The dangerous daylight claws and creeps
To remind my drifting mind of life and time
For a single moment a spark of desire flares
Bright and brilliant in its piercing cry
Calling to the husk of He I do so inside reside
Action stand and strive for more fight for life
Shed the shackles the lovingly have held me
Wipe clean established programmed thoughts
Step out into the world from which you hide
That brilliant spark and its thoughts flicker
Fade and my numbness this locked away safe
Unfeeling state create the familiar lack of need
Brush away such desire and as I sit more time more life and days pass by but still the day tries.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

Across

Fickle really foolish locked away thoughts

Far away passed tomorrow's approach

So silly to waste any falling grain of bleached white sand.

Assured it will as not has it yet that measured construct

Unturning halts not such effect as ultimate result one's birth

Do wade life its shores appreciating all the rays of living

Before and in plenty for does come that twilight ending

Fickle time ushers us to the bridge spanning the unknown horizon coming

Fear so not as never one been that could not cross by choice nor folly

For home is there all today is to be cherished memory

Never loss never lost fading to make way the youth the way it was for us

As it should be shall be so think and drink in fondly your day taking joy and love along

Across.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

From Self This Road Goes

In either way, two horizon lines
One is from which I've made my way
My yesterday's and every scene I've seen
To this brief hesitant moment between
I which my place of reflection plays
Ahead are the days unknown to me unplayed
What lay in wait for me there?
The moment ends as time again my master
Another moment to mark such acceptance
Better i face what is to come than pretend at any way to change or revisit those of my yesterday's as this cannot be done.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

Conclusion less

It started off with the ignorance of youth
I needed to be the best at all but myself
Making me a need in me that wrestled control
To do anything, say all the words, promising
One look for some, another to my mother
Half truths found live far less than lies seem to
Circles of talk, deceptively led to life so lonely
They all saw my rouse, they walked away
Only myself the fool to believe myself in truth
I only wanted to be liked, only lied to be so
But fake is to be cut loose, and as I am and have been, I no longer know in truth who I really am. Now here. Now lost to who I am or what I want. Conclusion less.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

To the Man I have Become

In this may be found
Breath taking
Sums of plunder and power
Beyond the fabled ether
As God's have come to fall
I am forever, worth these folds
Creases against the very necks
Passion beating flowing within
Calling and craving to be known
Sense and far opposite talent
Do I plan my tale as confession
Before the all knowing masses
Lest they label or offer less interest
I choose no filters or any other rule
So the bitterest tasting flesh is
Uncooked fresh and ****** digested.
Lost sight, floundered and posted anyway
To record my thoughts as they honestly are.
When far off the man I may be then reads and wonders what on earth had I been thinking.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

Untitled

I would
If only I with emotion
Could write

Such connection
Inside I
Allow for moments

Of memory
Honest retrospective
Causes and effects

To the world
The countless unknown
Others to confess

I am
I have been
Done against
Victim of

Life is lessons
Each their own
To share mine
Is to question

Am I alone
As I feel such
Distance

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2020

Severity of Those Betrayals

Beautiful yet, those
Constructed misdirections
Barbed and sharp
Lacerations left behind
Belied the severity
The depth of which
Truth now sheds light
Yet to face weak denial

How am i
What thoughts bitter
Like bile at such
Loss of trust
Cost of those lies
As such I loved faithfully
To wound this fool
Your actions stain
And betrayal so careless

Makes the ending
A place of hate
Needlessly
As I am that price
We are that ending
I ask why?
Lies steal any closure
And I never heal.