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Jack R Fehlmann Apr 2020
Calibrate the beating heart
Upon such scale so precise
As that which fate's gaze
In time, endlessly exacting
Takes, takes, knowing
Not caring, it takes
Right until a heart does beat
It's ending....


And then,..

no more.
Jack R Fehlmann Apr 2020
Discovering a need
To do, create, begin or build up
But what? Where is this drive
This unquenchable urgency
Of purpose viewed as if behind
A schedule, deadline,  
Is my time short?
All I wake to,
Though restless dreams
They too pressing, pushing
Fueling my every waking
I focus on establishing
One then two
Hiring, planning and implimenting
My attempt at leaving
My mark, a note, anything
For my son
When my time is up
A proof that in my life
I tried at something.
Jack R Fehlmann Apr 2020
1.  You are the one that I love wholeheartedly.
2.  I struggle knowing that you are lonely.
3.  I know that when I look at you, I forget to breathe.
4.  If only I could mirror such beauty.

Too late.
Jack R Fehlmann May 2019
At the moment of death
Might the victim look upon
The Killer's face finding there
An Angels love, in eyes of mercy?
Feeling joy perhaps, as last breath
Resulting by acts carried out prior?
Perhaps upon the escaping breath,
Whispered from dead lips then
Translated by the only ears to hear
Is joy, understanding and greatfulness
To a mind of the psychopath?
Jack R Fehlmann May 2019
So suddenly, certainly, the certainty
Itself, as it was does seem to vanish.
It had been... Had it not?.. Been.
Real as the hidden clauses, was it not love?
Contingent upon unfaultered perfection, love offered
Promises given, whispered and offered in acts and,
In written words poetically dedicated and surrendered.
Known to be as it holds a cadence it, this, unspoken unobtainable and loafty demand that nothing less,
No hint of weakness or need of any but your own be shown.
At pain of loss, at loss of stature and withdrawal of unproven unconditional love whispered across those infuriatingly
And unforgettable lips I know I do and will and forever still promise to, try after, cry over forever to fail for, you, yours, our love. As I know no want no need, no other will be mine, as it seems neither are or will yours be mine... Love.
As human and imperfect and made of lesser things than the stone you desire, I am destined to fail, every attempt I make at being perfect.
Jack R Fehlmann Mar 2019
Beneath the blades of grass
The dew again forming
Catalyst, cool new air carries
Moisture, evaporated tears
Of yesterday, of yesteryear
To cling upon the surface as
Countless drops appear,
each pure, unpolluted, reflecting
Growing, to be shed again
To the earth as do these thoughts
But to the void beating in me
Pushing blood to keep me going
The way of things does not matter
Whilst emotions or unattended lack
There in does to one so mournful.

I. Miss.  You.
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2019
Right now, hesitant
Barely able to remember
Back and forth
This inner debate goes
Who is losing
What is the point of winning
I simply struggle
These thoughts of mine
Epiphanies, life changing
If I could only make tangible
Cause when I think
It seems clouds are my thoughts
Brought down briefly
Before drifting away once more
To play and my head leads the way.
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