Jack R Fehlmann

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

We all have them,
mine are packed,
stacked, buried away
in my closet,
the half torn shoe box,
rebox, running shoes once
now it holds my past,
my photographs,
seeing the familiar faces
but one calls and holds my eyes
it is of You, when we knew each other
not quite the beginning, mid way
still happy and your eyes were hiding
you used to smile, but was it ever for me?
I'm beginning to think,
You knew that that day was coming
Then you told me,
and I watched you go,
another life ago.

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

Foolishly Formidable

Weighed in and ridiculous
I pump a fist
Cause I hate you, your peace and love
Not my style... I break
Send things to ruin always ruined
I hate the smiling faces
Ring the bell
Seek out single out destroy
Any different belief,
In your lifestyle, so carefree, queer...
All that's wrong in this world
Face me, the judge and the jury
Always the same, dressed and equals
No liberal stance, or pride event
Because I'm formidable, you'll hate to try me
I'm foolish, and frightened all the time
hiding it in violence
Foolishly forrmidable though, maybe how I was raised
just to hate, to look down upon, to ruin
closed minds like mine,
we don't realize what we don't have to
always in the right, even if it is wrong to judge and ridicule.

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

The Ties That Work Themselves Out

Guess who's divorced today?
I heard these words from an angel's lips
In a brand new voice, and felt the smile beneath
Sometimes life is like a complicated knot
So many ties, all twisted, unpredictable
each from a different part of living
when we work to lay them each straight
One takes everything and then some
the rest get away; they make new knots
then, sometimes the ties that work themselves out.
Freeing you, changing your life,
On to the next knot, or not...

not finished... work in progress

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

So Like _________,... Only,.. Different

I see you in the grain of the wood,
That was our front door

Once,.. Sometimes,...
turns out to be the only "once" you get

I hear you in the storms,
when lightning strikes and rolls over, and away
In every drop of rain on the window
we used to make love beneath
Another life ago,

Here in this version of that life
I still catch glimpses
little hints, teasing the edge of my vision
or I swear I may have almost heard my name
the voice so close, was it, could it have been
but no, just the chimes blowing outside that window

So like your voice,... only,... different
only the wind

just a quick attempt at something... eh... not my best but something anyway. enjoy.

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

Don't Want to Blink

Another moment of you and I,
and you are so innocent,
eyes bright and unconcerned for our fates
lost in the magic of your ways
my eyes, again water from the pride
I am awestruck and beside myself
whispering into my unconscious ear not to look away
to remember this, every detail, the sight, sound, your scent and your smile
because tomorrow, nay, five minutes from now you change
never to be the exact little child you are this moment
and I want to keep these moments
the countless times in our lives that you are my only thought
my only purpose, my pride and my joy
I love you so very much, as a parent should
and you'll know it yourself one day,
I hope I am there to see it, and share with you such a gift
thank you child, for lighting my way.
I don't want to blink...
If done the moment is over and I know there are others
but right now, like this, I am in love with this moment.
I love you Zieven Lee...
I am so proud and thankful to have you in my life.
I don't want to blink...
Eyes water, and the moments changed.

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

Differently

All these things,
the ways you make me feel
forgotten so long,
safe for so long,
You, seem to be perfect
seamlessly becoming important
and I am eagerly open
willing to see, to dare
feelings I've kept away
but now, with you,
for some reason I want them
You make me smile,
the real kind, to the eyes
and those eyes make time for you
right now is so comfortable
and I do, I want to know...
where this is headed,
I want to... and that is new
frightening and enticing
wondering if you feel it
you seem to, you seem real
I have to trust you,
and that isn't easy... for me
but for you, for this,
what it may or may not be
I am willing, I will, I do
I put my trust in you
please understand the importance
Swore once, never again
then I met you, and I feel,
I see, I think, differently
Thank you

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

Still Uncharted but I Can Show You

There is time between
Each of our arrivals
It was I to go first
Then there was time
When you joined in
Strangers growing up
To meet one day
Each much wiser,
Mature and less terrified.
Looking at you it is clear
Parts Still Uncharted
I can show you
Guide you into all about you
A soft touch here,
A kiss, and nibble of your ear
and confessions of my wants
Trust, tested nervously
We lay down, and you watch
My eyes looking up,
loving unlike anything you've known'
the caress of my tongue,
How wet it can get,
As your body shakes,
And I show you new sensations
More than once,
and I whisper how good it feels
making this intimacy
this seduction draw out
The little squeals I hear
I want you so intensely
A thirst that you create
My lips, my mouth, my tongue
all of my senses focused
On, and In, and against you
Uncharted waves of yes, and wow
I Show You.