Jack R Fehlmann

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

If I'm the guy who waits,
is there some way?
Cause here I am, I was, I remain.
The aging clocks face,
ticks out each second passed,
and here I am regardless.
Caught up in fairy tale nostalgia,
forgiven all the wrongs, hurt endured,
selecting only the best and cherished
fleeting flickers of glimpses
at night just as I fade
to the place where you still come
there too, not always pleasant.
Sometimes I wake and ache so bad
but the cause of that is you
Will I ever turn you out, face away?
Is this time squandered, wasted, fruitless?
Or one day are we going to be, again?
Am I okay with no love unless, unless...
if nothing changes, distance remains,
who to blame but my own cowardice.
Some day, one day, maybe,
hearts can change.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"Cannot Move You"

You,... know who You are
And still I cannot move you...
As if the sum of this is nothing...
All of these dreams
Supporting just the one...
So many words written
To move o my the One
Outside this fraction of another...
Just pleading to be whole.
A gift, a promise, one for another...
From this one sided vision
Is it too unique for You to want it?
Does it matter I care
This is forever as promised...
And yet that as a thought
Truly moves only me.
Alone with my thoughts.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"***** Because She Is Still Beautiful"

every time our rides,
these now separate,
unconnected lives, paths...
coincide,
those amazing features,
flawless neck line,
my eyes make time
for her
though their conquests know
much more
distant,
propagate fantasies, memories
of what those full lips could do,
how the caress of hers set my heart aflame.
one way thoughts
that end
in the present,
in this wreck of a life,
wasted
every day wanting
to have
died
just the day before
goodbyes were given. the realization of my inequities,
inability
to conjure desire
as i could and ooh, oh so loved to do
when i was what
other men currently enjoy.
it ***** because she to my eyes
is the broken mold
post perfection,
to this day, it *****
because
i want her,
because i do,
because
she's beautiful,
and I'm in love with her.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"I Am In Your Words Tonight"

“I would be lying
if I said my soul didn't resonate
with the words you write”,
what you do write is a gift,
“an attention to detail that seems
to cost the rest of the world so much.”

I am myself found somehow
in your words, your beautiful lines
and I fight when you fight,... I try.

You... You are a muse, an author
often able to feel and hide inside,
and most of all, you are a wish to never meet,
for the fear of betraying myself
or displaying my faults

you and I, and our emotions,
given to words, put into forms
that dance, and entice and lure the mind,
the body and inner hidden parts...
they are right.

I am in your words tonight,
as I am most nights
and I am naked,
I am willing,
I am hopeful
and I won't lie...

A part of this mind and heart are in love,
the other parts know the world outside.
Write, write, please, weave me a world
of shared uniqueness
eloquent reasons why I know
as little or as much
to share,
I'm in your words tonight.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"I Think of the Days, Only Best Were Yours"

I think of days
just the best are yours

and when in the emptiness
of the nights without
the heart wants

Cannot, forget
when I think of your face
an ache feeds my pain
amazing, Green eyes twice
and three shades
missing,

your smile, never fading
remains, constant,

two shades,.. maybe,
I think, of the lies
and truths, mine hurt
light hits me,
a realization, and shame
on me, on the the way,

things are wronged
the fights,

right or half wrong...

the way her name
and the hurt
and what remains

is like a scar on the soul

I cant deny how she creates
an aching need

there is no control
i try, i do, i lose

I tried it all

maybe inside
i don't want to forget you.

The days,
And just the best were yours.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"What Cloth Am I Cut From" by: Jack Fehlmann

I have this ability,

Inside,

Within my very being...

A Gift?..
Talent...
A Skill, Yes...

Worthy of Honing.

This, my craft
I've come to love.
But it is so much more,

Much more,.

You may call my way
However you believe it to be...

But I hold it's secret.

See it for what it is,..
and it is Amazing,

It is Ancient, and Limitless...

To me, the one that wields it,
this blessing?.. I see, incredible things.

I alone, my inner eye,..

Then of nothing, shall I create something,..

Seen til this moment,...
By me, and me alone.

Now, made real by my magic,..
Physical, Real,..

Mysterious spells, and enchantments cast
upon, into, over and through it.

imagination, emotion, heart and soul,..

Do you see?... Gaze upon my artwork...

Inside of you, and you, and me...

Strings, and I manipulate, maneuver, Agitate,..
I Soothe, I sympathize, I celebrate,...

Surrendering myself, entirely,
I make each piece,..

These spells are made of every color.

Potions stirred into impossible textures.
Subject matters,..

Please Judge.
Please Critique,
Please, please, pretend
to know my reasons,..

I see the awe

See the hidden wonder...
what state of mind must mine be indeed.

See the cloth that made me,
Makes everything!

I am destined,
I have heard my calling...
Bottom, to Top,..
Roots, up,...

In love with my calling.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"The Fragrance of A Whisper" by: Jack Fehlmann

And I heard the words approaching,
So close, so fragrant beneath her pressed lips
I waited, I listened...

Encouraging the woman I thought I loved,
Please, baby pleading with all remaining hope...
It wasn't meant to hurt, it was foolish,..

Perfumed blissful ignorance in my waiting acceptance,
whisper the words love, no other may need hear them,
for they are for my hurt, my scarring heart...

In her beautiful green eyes,.. She wants to,
But there is only the longest pause...
then a tear, shed to roll easily away
and I am no longer the reason for the words

something did happen,
robbing the song they produce
in my heart, that in a breath, weakens...

Oh no, no, no, no don't give silence reign over our union.
Silence is nothing to my eardrums,
as it is... Too loud,
and wretchedly painful to my heart.

So close, the words, the way to the way it was,
before,...
one last kiss will never come...

As she turns and lives forever part,
all that is left,
is the fragrance of a whisper
to remember, and words that never were never heard.

I'm sorry,... I do love you,
I will always, forever...

Words that never come.