"Baby, it's cold outside. I don't want you to go out.
Stay here with me, cuddled by the fireplace.
Encased in this red, fuzzy blanket."
I wanted to tell you that night.
Instead I simply said to you:
"Goodnight, my love. Be safe."
And you drove off into the sunset
And I never saw you again...

So you've been dead a whole year now, mutt.
Not a day goes by I miss your adorable face.
But oh boy you had **** breath! Disgusting!
You were a great dog, even though you were a coward.
Oh, you had the snobbiest personality I've ever seen in a dog.

You had those terrible seizures two years ago that left you deaf... seven seizures in two hours. One of the scariest nights of my life.
But it's okay, the vet hooked you up on drugs. Phenobarbital!
Yeah, you got addicted real fast to that! Haha! It was so sad, but my twisted sense of humor saw the funny side of it. Every day at 11am and 11pm you would whine for your pill. Drove me nuts. But I still loved you...
And I miss you, bud.

Everyday I'm told to be strong
Be strong
Be strong
Be strong

It's like an echo
Echo
Echo
Echo

Maybe I'm better off weak
Better off weak
Better off weak
Better off weak

Because I'm not strong
Not strong
Not strong
Not strong

Love has abandoned you and I
Not a one to lie by our side
What reason to carry on?
When all alone we are?

Is a cut wrist better than a cut heart?
I can assure you it isn't
Why?

"Loneliness is a part of our experience and if we are looking for relief from loneliness in friendship or relationship, we are only going to frustrate the friendship. Friendship, camaraderie, intimacy, all those things, and loneliness live together in the same experience..."

Some days I feel less than I am.
Most days I feel less than I could be.
Everyday I'm never as I should be.

There's this pain deep in me that's unrelenting;
Never can I **** it off all the way.
I do find ways to dull it... to take the edge off:
Video games
Baseball
History
Poetry
Friends


But it's never enough.
The pain comes from that gap, that separation, between my soul and You.

I know our relationship isn't as it should be... that terrible gap in it... I know Your Son bridges it and Your Spirit holds it eternally.
But I have fled from You. I'm not asking for forgiveness from You. Not yet, I'm still unrepentant.
I'm asking for You to break through my solid walls; nobody else can.

You are God, I am but flesh and dust.
Hear me.