I hide behind a mind engulfed with poisonous secrets I dare not to leave my mouth.
My feet are buried in shackles latched onto them while my skin drips in doubt.
My hands are stitch behind my back with threads of weakness.
My mouth expands while the truth is caged behind my teeth because it’s no one business.
I open my eyes and it flutters more than a bird in fear from a threat.
I lean my head to the side and analyze this disastrous home tormented by time but hasn’t given up yet.
I watched it light on fire.
I’ve seen it dismantled by hurricanes.
I heard the walls and wood creak from the distress.
How can a foundation be so strong after a wave of events?
We all are broken homes at some point of life even if it doesn’t make sense.
Financial crisis, heartbreak, anxiety, school, family, work, depression, racism, we all experience a wave that changes us for the better or for the worst.
Sometimes it becomes so consistent like an epidemic that one can feel curse.
Then we question, “why did I go through this? What did I do to deserve such a traumatic blow to the head?”
And we search for these answers in the same place that hugged us with so much agony and the countless stress it led.
Early nights turn to restless nights in bed because we force reality to sink in our head but it covers our nose and mouth until we faint in a pool of insecurity and beg for these feelings to dead.
Make it stop,
I’m drowning.
The sky turns to a bruised face and wakes up the roots with its tears.
I feel so connected as the drops fall to the floor because it reminds me we all break no matter how much we can bear.
I observe the rain dance on the sturdy house and admire it as the beauty glisten,
I grew a love for this home because it rebuild as much as despondence knocked on the door, it ignored and refused to listen.
It upholds its commitment to itself to never give up.
That no matter how much times it can get rough,
Know that you can survive and pretending your problems don’t exist will never be enough.

-dpk

Lately my mind has been in one place beyond the stars,
I try to connect the dots but they just leave trails of false happiness tainted in scars.
I’ve been lost and consumed with unimaginable distraught built up in me
Went from writing poetry on a daily to not at all due to the animosity I blinded myself to see.
I look in the mirror and see someone I don’t recognize,
From all the lessons learnt I still fantasize how life would be without uncomforting cries.
I believe that life without the setbacks prevents you from appreciating the triumphs,
But what happens to the pieces of you that stayed shattered while life was your worst enemy?
To battle with life is to drag yourself across the finish line after every milestone  
Bruises, blood, sweat, tears become a cushion to your self-destruction and you lost your way from home.
They name hurricanes after people because we are a cluster of emotions burning inside, we set fire to our own rain,
We add fuel to our own fire because we rather suffer than to gain,
We become our own enemy and barricade ourselves from outside pain but lock ourselves in and become insane.
Insanity becomes our best friend. We persuade ourselves to get better but rather give another person a helping hand,
We give advice because genuinely that’s what we want to hear but we run into loops and bury our security in the sand.
Looking beyond the stars trying to connect the dots of the chaos but the galaxy lye in me, the fire lye in me, the hurricane lye in me the mediocrity lye in me,
Blatantly to say,
The only person that can save me, is… me.

-dpk

Put your hand's up, i shake in fear
I plead and cried but they don't really care.
Look at me, look at my skin color is this the reason you want to shoot me?
Africans, mexicans,  hispanics, is race all that you see?
Humiliating and torturing families how can you say you're protecting us?
I cannot even walk to the shop without my mother putting up a fuss cous she's afraid i may not come back.
To see me laying down in blood while you still try to put my hand in cuffs as you yell to my mom "miss go back"
How is shooting someone that's not resisting arrest is looking out for the safety of others
As we yell "stop i didn't do anything" yet our bodies end up in bags to our mothers.
Look at me, look at us what did we do to deserve such cruelty
Your skin color does not justify superiority
As we are strip naked and I'm not talking about ******, strip naked of justice for our people.
Then you wonder why we riot black lives matter because the system is the problem when it's suppose to be part of the solution
But they settle with "it was an accident " conclusion
When?  When will it stop ?
How could you walk around with a badge shooting unjustly and call yourself a cop?
The people are afraid but the cops doesn't care because at the end of the day, they're still getting paid.
When is change going to be made?





-dpk

I see ****** around me that just want the fame,
Want the attention doing **** but who am i to blame
****** fall in love with the pictures flashing possession they think makes them richer
You hear ****** rapping about the hood knowing when they lived there they tried their hardest to get out
Doing **** not thinking without a doubt
Now all they doing is spitting irresponsible **** out their mouth.
****** in the streets ready to shoot you just so they can write about you
Flashing weapons yelling bang bang when they were the same ones running away from the pistols from the **** they do
I'm putting all these fufu ****** on the spot acting brand new with their  baby mamas crying because the rent due
You ****** so contradictory getting these females pregnant and leaving knowing its your responsibility making you look like a humility
But yal don't care
Money is the motivation but you ****** talk about violence
But the same ones in silence
Following ****** because you need someone riding with you when you get jump
Same ****** you ridin with are the same ones that jump
I swear you ****** so lame and act like yal aint got a brain
But just know i'm the realest in the game , i'm my own motherfckin team
I may be a girl but i spit real ****,
Because you ****** know yall lines don't be ****.

-dpk

You looked me in my eye
So cold, so sweet you lied.
How could you do such a thing,
All those beautiful things you wrote, i thought you were a king.

But see you were so rare, I wouldve never assume otherwise,
Like definitely perhaps your nothing like these other guys.
See I don't know why you tried to bring me into your ****,
Talking bout love and loyalty, man thats *******.
Said youre not gonna hurt me you're different,
Yet you lie so fiercely with a grin.

I still can't believe it , you don't seem like the type,
But you can't put nothing pass nobody , i thought you knew what was right.

Caught feelings, actually wanted dealings
But you were too high on your **** shift lowkey,
Thinking i wouldn't have figure out, all you ****** is rookies .
But this always happens to me right?
Didn't even expected and still got hurt,
Somehow i'm always ending up  feeling like dirt.
So tired of the same old thing,
Focus on myself, get good grades, stunt cous i don't have a ring.

Noone know what loyalty is,
Everyone just wanna run game,
But i love the players , i'm just getting better with the team.
It always turn out this way,
Such a disappointment , i don't want to hear what you have to say.
So sad to see it gone,
But life goes on.


-dpk

It shadows a figure that's afraid to embrace their inner talents or undiscovered strengths
Fearful of the consequences of the planned mishaps and failed attempts.
It creeps in and traumatizes your character and demoralize your determination,
Sweat drips from your face, your hand soaks in fright and your body undergoes a burning sensation.
Starstruck in judgement and animosity,
Who knew that life came with a policy?
Emotions and faith consistently triggered by the inability of credibility
Eyes inflamed with tears while my mind attacks me physically
As it continue to haunt and knaw on my self esteem,
I now found the answer to why my efforts weren't deemed.
Thinking that maybe the criticism were the problem but the problem lies beneath a surface of glass,
A glass that won't allow a bullet to pierce through but enclose the demons that feed on the hope so it won't last.
Knees quivers, stumbling accelerates, panting starts to become a way of breathing,
Nervousness sinks in, failure feeds back and anxiety becomes the prominent feeling.
It's not the result that scarce the mentality, it's feeling that you're not good enough, it's seeking validation and disappointing yourself.
It's feeling worthless and useless and denying you need help.
The lack of confidence shadows a goal driven individual that misses out on opportunities in fear of not being enough.
The lack of confidence manipulates a talented soul that makes success become so rough.
Confidence become a puddle of melancholia with false hope and desired faith,
Stuck in a trans and the cycle begins again as I wait.
Wait on the moment to empower myself and encourage my abilities,
Turn my insecurities into security to soar for opportunities and amend unity.
It's time to stop waiting and breakthrough.
I believe in me.
I hold the key.
And I will let my confidence free.

-dpk

Maybe I yearn for something outcast by individuals perspective or maybe I'm just selective.
Selective to be loved and caress in a way abandoned by this generation,
The lies, manipulation, infactuation, it all drives me to fraustration.
I want to be held like the darkness holds the sun to glisten it's beauty,
Held so my brokenness can repair as I cringe to the sensations of your love to my mentality instead of ******.
I lay fully covered while your heart strip me of insecurity and your hands massage the animosity.
The fire inside me ignites but your eyes and actions eases my soul,
You came into my life and made me feel whole.
You put light into me, attacked my demons, changed my pessimism on having feelings.
You hungered for a heart as intuitive and loving as mine,
And I craved for a romance and sincerity but I was so blind.
Your kiss derived me of my endless thoughts,
Your touch put a latch on my esteem,
Your love renew the empty soul that was lost.
You admired me like a work of art.
If only it was real and not a dream I tiresly wish upon,
The love I desire ,the absence made my heart fond.
Maybe I'm too passionate or maybe I need to grow up,
Or..
Maybe I was born in the wrong era for love.


-dpk

You found beauty in my disconsolate eyes.
Seeing right through me and my lies you comforted my miserable outcries.
A fortress was built to protect my heart from agony and disappointment,
But you molded a door through my scars and viewed me as heaven sent.
Embracing my imperfections, you kissed them with reassurance,
You became my mirror on the wall and developed a tolerance.
I was not the beauty but indeed the beast,
Yet you made love to mind and engulfed my soul with adoration none the least.
Taming my pessimism that overflowed like Niagara falls,
You chained them them to happiness and hope although they had brawls.
Your beauty became the stars and the moon in my darkness,
The dark knarled and hissed at the idea of love but eventually filled with bliss ,
I found peace, the best thing I missed.
Becoming the energy from your light, the radiance choked my chaotic mind until it quenched for sight
It overdosed me in seeing what's right  instead of hallucinating in "what might"
It made me realize your love was worth the fight.
Your smile poisoned me with a kiss of forever ,
Your eyes blossomed sunflowers from my veins I thought would never grow
Your arms carved an imprint of your love on my body that gave me a glow
Your heart shot me with bullets of consistency I thought I'd never know,
Your personality was alcohol that kept me spinning and made me not want to go.
Mirror mirror on the wall you're my reflection,
I undergo many selection but you gave the best impression although family became the most fraustration our love conquered because it's from another dimension.
With you I can face anything, I am complete,
You see me for me,
Acknowledging the beast , you transform the negativity to positivity with ease
You allowed me to be Destiny without judging me.
It was not a true love kiss that awakened me,
It was your beauty that stripped me naked without me taking off my clothes,
It was your compassion that saw an aching soul,
It was your words that stiched the empty hole,
It was the person you are that rescued me from the cold.
You are my true love.
You are the beauty to my beast and
I love you with all of me.
-dpk

Love?
Is that the reason we torture ourselves to go down pathways we know will fracture us?
Giving our all, losing ourself for someone more infactuated in lust.
Damaging that little thing we need for survival just to feel some sort of love,
To keep us going because we know it's so tough.
It's so hard picking up the pieces from the last heartbreak so the other that comes along just fills the gap not putting it back together.
See I don't believe in forever.
Carrying burden from the past, dealing with issues in the present.
All I wanted was someone to make this hell feel like heaven.
To be there for me and help but most importantly to love me.
Is this why I rather hurt myself then to cut off the negative relations?
Cous i'm aiming for a connection when all i'm getting are tingly sensations.
Running through mud stuck in the same position,  why don't I just listen?
even roses hurt you with their thorns,
sadly nobodly likes to write their wrongs.
Your voice playing in my head like a favorite song,
Your smile helped me go on for so long,
Your touch intensify my impulses though I know it's wrong.
i'm not hard to love , i guess you're just the one i'm not suppose to have.


-dpk

I can't seem to think straight.
So much mixed emotions and countless thoughts,
Aching my mind with the pain it brought.
Trying to stay positive and strong,
Wanting to hold on to something that lost its bond.
Eyes watering hope aint worth it no more,
Fixing something that can't be restore.
Yielding, pleading, talking can't change reality,
Wrecking an unstable mentality.
Keep your head up and believe in brighter days,
Just as a rose symbizes love, it rotts away.
Life compared to nature compare to something that's out of reach.
Something that can define what's teached.
It's okay, your stronger than you think.
Just one blink to realize what is Destiny.

-dpk

Keep having this unwanted feeling,
This feeling I outcast that has a healing,
But it’s so much meaning so I allow it to keep raining.
Raining over me like a dark cloud, fighting the voices in my head that’s so loud.
Numb, empty, alone but I contemplate about changing this emotion,
It has so much power over me like a bullet in motion.
Maybe I like the pain because it makes me who I am,
Or maybe I rather run from the truth then to lend myself a helping hand.
Life is a feeling process, you win some and you lose some,
But I want to **** the feelings but it won’t go no matter how much ***.
It’s affecting me like a virus, pounding my heart,
Pretending like everything’s okay when I know this is so hard,
Being put back in the same position repeatedly every time I think I’ve come so far.
I knew this would’ve happen but I just wanted some affection, a little dose of attention, a feel of affirmation.
I wanted a human meditation.
To help mend the struggles, to love me for my flaws, to show me what I don’t see in myself.
I bring too much to the table to always be unappreciated or played with,
Making up scenarios in my head thinking we could’ve been lit.
Life goes on though it was you I wanted wrapped up in my arms,
This is just another alarm, can’t stop singing these stupid love songs,
I tried but I can’t make you write your wrongs.



-dpk

Please listen to me.
Weeping on my knees as my throat clogs with suffocation of phantasm,
I plead......
Please listen to me
Listen to the blood that drips from my mind enclosing the torture of self neglect
Listen to the poison that spills from my mouth that mirrors the monsters I've met.
Listen to the rope that hugs my throat as it kisses me with lies.
Listen to the gun wound with bullets covered in loath that pierced through my soul outcry.
Listen to the writing on the wall that depicts a fragmented soul demanding for the oblivious to be conscious.
Listen to the brokenness that glares from my eyes in despise.
Listen to the pills of escapism I swallow with a smile of wry.
Listen to a soul outcry.
My heart aches of desolation and despair,
Bottles thrown in every direction as the wall cries tears of blood in fear.
Furnitures dismantled portraying a shattered heart one cannot bear.
What's dear to me is incompetent, its sincerity is rare.
Strapped in a chair of agony with my mouth taped and my eyes covered
Heart rate accelerates and my body shakes
My ears is beaten with profanity, animosity and pitty.
Quivering in betrayal, dissimulating awakes
This is what it takes to survive every day.



-dpk

See sometimes I feel like i'm in a cage , trapped in a cell
I believe in God but whats going on in earth must be hell.
Everyone backstabbing just gain power and money, throwing money at honeys
What goes around comes back around but they think its funny.
The government working against us, thought it was only black
But they don't care about justice a heart they lack.
We suppose to feel safe when cops are around instead we fear because they get away with everything without a sound
Look at the news transgenders and homos has the spotlight
Knowing thats a bunch of bull but everyone acting like its right
See everyone losing sight.
Kids suffering, people dieng of hunger
But whats the story? We don't have much longer
We got a black president allowing residents to manipulate his own race
See I don't need to curse to get my point across, i'm still writing the realest stuff who don't like it its their loss.
Rappers rapping about ****** like they actually **** knowing someone does their ***** work just for a bill.
nah man i'm tired looking around at people playing each other looking down at the real ones they take for clowns
Living in a system where i'm afraid to walk out my house because I'm black
Framing me for crack like i had a sack.
look around do you think anyone really care? We live in a world that's far from fair having everyone living in fear.

-dpk

I teach the kids while my ears is attacked with profanity.
I cater to patients, take baths in blood and diseases with a low salary.
I provide transport to those in need to get to their destination and haven't been paid in 16 weeks.
I risk my life providing electrical work so people can see.
I make the beds, i answer the telephone and i serve drinks at the finest resorts
I....  Got laid off.
I'm defenseless, strip of self confidence so I stay and settle with unfairness.
I'm a single mom with rent due at the end of the month contemplating of my salary in distress.
I got a mother in the hospital laying in her coffin with her medical bills plugged into her wrist.
I have an autistic son that cannot read the grocery list.
Late hours, no sleep, no holiday,
Clean the blood, provide services with a smile, when will I have a say?
Moldy kitchen, hot factories, look at the rats fuming the atmosphere with diseases.
We are chained to victimization, chained to exploit, chained to the inequality but production is all that they see.
My surrows scream for a change while my savings only seem to do is flee..
Searching for a voice but I cannot seem to find the key
Crucial to day
I am an employee .


-dpk

Trying to look at the positives but the negatives outweighs
Like a wave ready to defeat a vessel so it can be abandon for days.
My mind is all over the place yet i try to hold it together.
Trying to embrace that life will not be as light as a feather
Overwhelming as it can be from one mishap always leads to another thing.
That one thing turns into a catastrophe while I'm here stuck under the sheets sobbing about how can this be.
In the air fumes negativity but the monstors in my head are the ones that does not want to flee.
As they try to manipulate my sanity into controversy while my face play dummy aiming for satisfactory.
But who am i blame?  Trying my hardest yet it's still not enough
Getting older made me realize how times can be so tough.
But it's not about falling it's about picking yourself up,
Though you stumble or even drop you gotta gain stability and handle your stuff.
Giving myself advice still contemplating on thinking twice
I now see how life can be like rolling dice.
Still i wish to be understood, to be heard maybe my mind won't be in chaos over all the things I've lost.
Still i wish i was focused, now look at the damage I've caused.
God please tell me why everything keeps falling apart?



-dpk

Dear little girl,
You were always more than what they expected you to be.
Called you names, neglected you, threw you out, disrespected you but you stood firm and made a persona you wanted them to see.
You were so weak to your knees that crying was a remedy to help you believe.
Believe that beauty can come from darkness, believe that the truth can come from the deceive.
They thought you were naïve, they ridiculed you to turn you into something you didn’t see in the mirror.
They tormented you with pain for you to surrender, they wanted you to pay for their actions incurred.
You were fighting a losing battle.
You were fighting a battle that only you knew about,
Only you experienced the extreme measure of what it is to be strong, yet you still doubt.
You became so accustomed with hiding your feelings that being numb was your haven
You grew so attached to yourself that nobody can knock on the door to let themselves in.
Your mentality became so advanced that you couldn’t fit in.
You became your own light in the darkness but that too became dim.
Dear little girl I’m sorry for hurting you and betraying you,
I should’ve pushed you harder, I should’ve become your best friend, I should’ve become everything they didn’t do.
But look at you.
Look at how you’ve grown and your potential to become so great.
Look at how you overcame every obstacle that was thrown at you,
Look at how you relentlessly found the positive in every negative,
Look at how you became your best friend.
Those tears weren’t in vain darling, they wrote the success you’re destined to achieve.
God heard you, he’s listening.
Just be careful opening doors you need to leave.
You are everything you need yourself to be.
So dear woman, don’t ever belittle yourself, hopes and dreams.
-dpk

Trying to capture my feelings into words with meanings.
Trying to outcast the melancholies that surpass the evenings.
I can feel it pounding ready to explode,
So much love fumed in its area that it’s such a heavy load.
Water drops shimmers, sparkling the eye, that smile can’t keep telling those lies.
What are we really doing?
Running into circles stuck thinking should we give up.
We can’t leave each other alone, maybe its luck.
I just want to be emotionally stable
But we keep trying, fighting for a label.
I just want all the love I give in return,
I just want to be loved the way I earned.
I overlooked pretty much anything because ultimately I am just terrified of being alone.
I knew I should’ve kept my guard up, I felt this coming way too soon.
I overthinked and made scenarios, guess I shouldn’t have expected.
Breaking my own heart knowing this would be so hectic.
Tired of trying just to end up in the same position,
It was you I was missing, just wished you would’ve just listen.
Put yourself in my shoes, feel it from my perspective,
Constantly getting hurt though I’m so selective.
Patiently waiting on my time,
No matter how pure my heart is and how I’m so kind.
I’ll look back and realized that it was really me who wasted my own time.


-dpk

Filled with power and love.
Similing and laughing so fiercly,
Thinking of all the positivity,
It feels so good to be happy!

That beautiful smirk lighting up the room,
That sweet heart blossiming flowers.
Singing cheers of joy,
Loving everythibg being enjoyed.

Like a trance full of confidence and emotion,
Twinkling stars dancing in motion.
Melodically talent filling the spirit,
Only thinking about each lyric.

Why can't it be like this all the time?
Tricked into thinking i'm happy, knowing its all a lie.

-dpk

Walking on the path full of curiosity and misery.
I pause for a moment and gaze at the sky questioning myself "i wonder why? "
I wonder why I continue to walk on this path if i know where it will lead.
Conscious yet i walk in emotional ******* while screams plead.
I wonder why i crave for a love deeper than the ocean,
A breath of fresh air i yearned for while my heart was being strangled yet I'm searching.
I wonder why lies are commonly fed to me.
Dismantling walls of bottles thrown while my throat chokes on poison.
Poison that kisses my lip bittersweet while it puts my thoughts at ease.
Holding the trigger of liquor I look in the mirror "why me"
I wonder why i exert myself to pain instead of walking away.
Consistely mouth actions is all that matters yet my hand holds onto you by the things you say.
I wonder why I manipulate my feelings for love.
Mislead by your feelings for me because it gives me a sense of happiness but roses sticks me with their thorns.
I guess you never know what you had til it's gone.
Heart frozen to the point of transfiguration due to false hope.
A beast incapable of being tamed there's no need to cope.
Addicted to a drug stronger than dope tirelessly trying to achieve,
As I continue to walk on the path,
I ask myself
"I wonder why i won't leave? "


-dpk

Sitting in silence pure of love and tranquility,
The amusing feeling that attacks when I'm near you,
All the things you do , so glad to finally not feel blue.
Strip of depression when my mind is on you,
Blind by your affection and the things you knew.
Drunk and overdose of your love the way you make me feel,
The disasters and disease that tortured me you slowly healed.
Strip naked appealing in your eyes,
I always question how could you love me, why?
As you cleanse my mind of my flaws and insecurities,
You made me feel like lillies.
I know I am beautiful but you fused it in my brain,
For once i don't feel sane.
You crushed and choked my insecurities
With your hand brushing down my body.
Lifting the tiny strands as i screamed please.
Your eyes desired my body like a masterpiece,
And suddenly all my flaws ceased.
You made love to me without even having ***,
Instead you made ******* with me mentally making me not feel like a mess.
You made me feel beautiful inside and out,
As i was striped naked in front of you i had no doubt,
That you loved my imperfections and the love the motivation that spills out my mouth.


-dpk

How to take them off?
She whispers to me soft.
The cuffs around my wrists, the shackles on my feet.
The heavy burden weighing me down,
Screams in my head i try to decease but no one can hear a sound.
Like a pencil inevitable to break,
Like a blind man oblivious to the dying soul smiling knowing it's fake.
The smell linger the atmosphere with it's depression diffusing from one body to another for God's sake.
The pain one bear in a room full of people yet feel alone,
The friends she keeps saying she'll tell them soon,
The monstors hiding under her bed but is in her head but how can anybody know if the feelings she have are dead
But is it really or is it what she wants people to see?
The suffocation of hiding emotions and stories she's force to delete.
The love she wish she can have but no one can meet.
All she want is the love she gave in return,
But the tyes she refuse to cut leading back to him how can she learn?
Such a heavy load to accept the fact that it was never meant to be
With a latched up heart only one has the key,
I look in the mirror and see the girl that's hiding pain, though the lessons she has gain.
Her mind is an empty numb place though she may seem sane,
I feel like i'm waiting for something in vain.


-dpk

I admire you, after all the pain and bruise.
You still stuck around and loved like you never lose.
Never lost someone that broke you apart, someone that made you feel like loving you was hard.
You stayed strong though you had impulses that wanted you to do wrong.
Instead of being manipulated into doing things that you hated,
You stood above it all and stand your ground.
You guarded me and though the walls fell you rebuild,
And that empty feeling you gradually filled.
So heart this is for you, I just want to say thank you.


-dpk

The pain i bear and shunned growing up with you
The hurt and names you entitled me with,the things you put me through.
People seen all the amazing things you did
Recognized the way you treated me and not step up one bit.
Living in a horror beneath skin
Destined to be the dummy nobody believe in.
Feeling horrible and strip of self confidence
Didn't know what self esteem was due to your perseverance.
Thought i was nothing based on your actions.
The words you mouth out affected me to a different state,
living with hate.
Full of insecurity and lack of  esteem,
So accustomed to the words you displayed me as , felt like they were my name.
Standing in shame with all eyes lashed on me,
Humiliated and nobody would say a thing.
The pressure that was faced upon me because you didn't loved nor cared for me.
Difficulties faced in the past life, always thought you were right.
Seeing you treat her like a princess left me in despair and melancholia,
Questioning my existence compared to her presence.
Why didn't you loved me, why did you curse at me?
Looked at me with disappointment in his eyes ,
Constant tears rolled down my eyes.
I still wonder why, so hard to hold the hurt in and to get by.
My only wish is to make you proud despite all the downfall,
But all i wanted was for you to answered when I called.

-dpk

They warn you about heartbreak, love, pregnancy, std, failure.
They warn you about drugs and alcohol but outcasts an issue that's major.
Self-neglect , personality crisis.
Why don't they warn you about the capabilities of losing yourself?
Maintenance of good grades, fulfilling your parents wishes, studying to become something you're not even happy about.
They do not warn you of the consistent mental breakdowns questioning yourself in doubt.
Doubting if this is the correct path for you, doubting your purpose in life.
It's a constant battle between your mind and what you truly desire.
Yet the passion within you thats an array of fire,
Shadows and demoralizes itself.
The restless nights where my mind was a battlefield with constant chaos triggered my insecurities.
Already an emotional wreck there I was losing my sanity because the bigger picture was oblivious and I couldn't see.
Became so unconfident that my work ethic decreased due to my incapability of searching for me.
Why didn't they tell you how hard you become on yourself?
How your mind is your worst enemy and no one can help. That the only one that's degrading you is yourself.
Then they persuade you to chose a field that makes money. They brainwash you into thinking your passion is inferior and belittle your struggles of doing what they demanded you to do.
An outcry for help suppresses while pretending steps into the light.
Persistently interrogated myself,
"Who are you?"
As I look at a reflection covered in incompetence and solicitude,
"You are not defined by the comparison. You are not defined by their wishes. You are not defined by the ridiculed labels."
You are what you truly aspired to be even if your aspiration is still uncertain.
You pave the road of your happiness, of your dreams, of your passion.
Aspire to become true to yourself because you hold the key to your future and that's the only thing that's certain.
Just because it took you a longer time than others doesn't mean you didn't succeed.


-dpk

I'm strong!
I may not believe it or feel it,
But i got that courage deep inside to lit.
Been through so much, cried repeatedly and broke down emotionally.
It hurt so much and tortured me,
But I realized I choose my destiny.
Distancing myself from people and felt like dying.
Ripping myself to threads in the corner crying.
Yelled for help as I bruised my mind and heart,
until i became so shattered, I was lost.
Trying to search for someone that never existed, making everything all twisted.
I blamed it all on me,
I knew i'm strong enough but it was a defeat
Reflected myself watching me hurt.
Trapping myself in the dirt.
Fantasizing of being happy,
when all I had to be was me and remove the toxic people out my life.
I came this far, i can finally open up that door.
I am strong!
I'm starting to see it, to believe it.
Don't give up when times are rough.

-dpk

Drive my heart into the night,
Don't come back til its beautiful in sight
You crushed it with all your might,
And all the pieces lyes in your hand.
Silly of me to allow you to trick me with mental emotions,
Overdosing of pills as you hypnotize your potions.
My heart was all I had,
You left it wounded, cold and sad.
I don't want to leave without your love,
It tortured me as a wrecking ball.
As i carried the burden of your manipulative feelings,
Contemplating if it was real or just dealings.
you turned me into someone else as I adorn you.
It's out of my character but what if I did all the things you do.
Trying to remove all the pain and hurt you put me through.
Was it easy leaving me?
because it was so hard getting over of what I thought was meant to be.

-dpk

In him she sees peace.
She sees hope, happiness and an ocean of untold stories in which she have sunk too deep.
In him she sees love.
She sees his heart wrapped up in stiches, his hands covered in deadly goodbyes, his strength lying behind the muscles that strives to be tough.
In him she sees herself.
She sees her scars behind his eyes, her tears sunbathe in his skin, her insecurities fully cloth in his lips, and her heart which he holds the key.
Her past made her believe she would never find someone that will kiss her vulnerability.
Mesmerize by his personality that echoes sounds of joy, she lays on his chest drinking his thoughts.
Gazing in admiration, she found love and the battle between loneliness and sorrow was lost.
A reckless soul lost in the forest of abandonment and despair,
She saw her portrait of her soul running in fear.
Fear of happiness, the light at the end of the tunnel many wish to achieve,
Wretchedly to say a mind engulfed in darkness rather lye with the pain than to gain.
She calls them monsters.
Monsters that attacks her mind because the ones under the bed are too frightened to compete with the ones in her head.
As they chained her to the dissipation of happiness that she fonder he brought peace to the misery they once lead.
Within him is the reflection of her reaching the light at the end of the tunnel which lies in his heart.
He showed her loving her chaos of beautiful madness is not hard.
He sees disaster covered in flaws of perfection and continents tattooed on her skin.
He sees security handcuffed to her love which the room of trust was too dim.
He sees a heart of gold which he starved and feed on her soul being oblivious to her sin.
He made it known that loving her is his biggest win.
He’s aware of a portrait painted in dull markers but sees it as a beam of radiance and amazement.
He saw a heart that was caged as he looked pass the bars of mayhem finding it engaging.
He stares at her like a work of art and they paint their canvas of love that won’t ever be lost.
Incapable of expressing her admiration for him because her love isn’t confine to letters of the alphabets,
Her affection spilled on paper isn’t enough to describe her encounter with the best person she’s ever met.
Her smile became an epidemic that affected her face with numbness, her soul with happiness and her eyes with forever set.
Your actions made sure she knows her love is well kept.
You taught her that dreams do come true,
You caress her and cherish her in a way nobody else do,
Frankly to say,
She loves you.

-dpk

If I told you to look in my eyes would you be able to see the mystery of untold truth twisted in lies?
Look at me with an open mind and read the fine prints sketched in my deep brown eyes.
Understand that I’m not a work of art to showcase in a gallery of hidden ignorance.
Favor my solitude and leash onto my oxygen and see that I am the art in a work of progress ever since.
Do not label me due to my ethnicity, skin tone, hair type, sexuality, religion and individuality.
Do not defy my capabilities and slaughter me with words and force me to think that your criticism defines my reality.
Look beyond the exterior layer and see me as a human.
My flaws are not to be considered jokes.
My brown skin is not to be a target for death.
My preference is not to be ridiculed and abused for love.
My religion is not to be stereotypical and dragged down as one.
We live in a society where mental illness is to be cured over drinking tea,
We live in a society where we rather poison our system with liquid and smoke to go in another dimension to escape reality.
We live in a society where social media depicts whether we’re beautiful or worthy.
We live in a society where we segregate ourselves in our own race because of insecurity.
We are imperfect and demand change but refuse to change ourselves for a better way of living.
We rather be a part of the problem rather than the solution because working together is a sacrifice than willing.
My intelligence is not to be measured by your inability to understand my standpoint, it is not to be underestimated.
Do not try to paint a picture or lye in your bed of presumption unraveling the knots of your lack of knowledge of who I am.
I am not defined by your weapon you consistently lash at me with your tongue.
I am not to be seen as the lyrics in those demoralizing rap songs.
I am not to be hold to a lower standard and revoke of my abilities because I am a woman.
I may be a lot of things but that does not give you the right to discriminate my life as a human being.
When you look at me, value me for the person I am,
And that person is beautifully and wonderfully made.

-dpk

Smoking to reach another dimension,
Far from the emotional tension.
I can't take this sensation of you constantly on my mind.
Feeling the hurt after I ignored all the signs.
Drinking to put myself in a condition though I know it'll just be temporary.
Meeting someone new is just so scary.
Feel like they'll all do me the same,
Just playing tricks with me, it's all about the game.
I don't understand why I keep getting hurt,
A consistent cycle that drives me in the dirt.
Numb to the drugs as they provoke my mind with temporary feelings,
I can't even describe how i'm feeling.
Drugs can't even do no healing,
What's the meaning?
Of a girl with a good heart but always run over,
A girl that has so much to offer,
I guess I matters well stay sober.

-dpk

So distant lately,feel alone like I have no one.
But thats the thing, no matter the desolation or despair
Feel like no bone in my body actually care.
Intertwining lonesome and alone,
The people i always contact i've shone.
Just the voice in my head keeping my company,
I don't need noone I'm funny.
Not dependat on someone to make me smile or happy,
Not focusing on the **** that goes through my head that makes me feel ******.
I'm freespirted and deserve the best,
I'm just tired hearing people say they're not like the rest.
I'm tired giving chances, tired relying on love.
It may be the best gift of all but I need the one above.
I can't think straight probally because I feel empty,
thinking positive but i need serenity.
I don't even know what I feel.
I want to break glass,  throw plates, punch the wall
But i can't bare the thought of seeing me fall.
I am strong but sometimes being strong is so hard,
I just want to breakdown but i can't stand to frown.
Not your typical poem highlighting metaphors and similes to create a fancy picture,
This is real, direct words are much richer.
I'm lost, i'm bent.
I'm heaven sent.
Lost for words because i'm so clueless,
I just feel useless.



-dpk

My mind encompasses a cumulonimbus cloud that strikes my spine of agony and hope.
My nerve impulse consists of abuse that traumatizes my heart yet it beats on hope as a way to cope.
The pain sleeps underneath the bags under my eyes and feeds on the despair which hides behind my smile,
My soul is trapped behind the body that’s been burdened wearing heavy armor for awhile.
I’m a shadow to a reflection that’s unrecognized that became my escapism.
I remember telling myself that love is a blessing but I’m a curse.
That love will never devour me until it strips every heartbreak from my bones that ruptured into me like a bullet.
My skeleton shows missing fragments that my bulletproof skin was unable to fit though it survived the full impact of distress that ever hit.
This body is an armor of tinted smiles and radiant persona to pleasure the pain in my heart for encouragement that it too one day can be jovial.
But my armor isn’t strong enough to stitch wounds of my past to allow a peace of mind to last.
Beneath this skin are bones made up of affliction and anguish that doesn’t ossify after it’s pierced
I’ve carried this weight that was always too much on my plate for years that even the screams in my head wasn’t enough to lay my sorrows on the bed.
Days may have been black and white but the sun keeps me buoyant with everything I do,
It reminds me that I am the crayolor in a colorless distraught though I may feel blue.

-dpk

You must forgive, understand how much better you would feel when the pressure has been lifted
Not how many times you have drifted,
by people that hurt you and did you wrong.
Remember the pain wont last long.
That anger and hate you have built up for someone feels like a monstor chewing at your soul,
Don't become who hurt you, don't let it tear down your world.
It's okay to cry and get upset,
You always seem to say "I'm fine" I bet.
But you're strong, whatever you are going through wont last long.
Forgive those not because they need to be but do it for you,
Don't let people have that advantage over you making you feel blue.
Forgive to reassure yourself that you're better than this.
The blessing you will receive can't compare to that karma list.
Keep your head up, you can conquer any battle that comes your way.
You just gotta take it step by step each day.

-dpk

You're not worth it,
Though it took me a while to realize, it even fooled me a bit.
I thought the words would've never left my mouth
I question it all , like was it an adventure , i doubt.
I guess you making me feel important and pretty was all i wanted to see
But you changed, turned into a cold human being.
Left me with all the feelings and memories,
Wishing and contemplating me and you was gonna be something but I don't believe in fairies.
I wanted you, i wanted all of you,
But all I have of you is the worst things you do,
The hurt you put me through, the lies you led me on with and your amuse.
See I didn't think you would ever treat me like everyone else,
I didn't want to believe it but I had to start listening to myself.
Though you was all I fantasised about, I had us all planned out.
But I don't want it anymore, i wanted to be there for you but you acted like a fool,
I wanted to love you and ride for you but you didn't wanted to rule.
Now all I got are the shattered pieces, don't flatter yourself you didn't' break me,
Though you help me see we aren't meant to be,
Can we pretend like we never met, I forgot how good you are at pretending you don't know me.
It's finish, I let go, I moved on
Hope you'd treat that other girl better who comes along.
All i've got is a broken memory,
I just thought you saw something different in me.
Should've left it at hi and bye,
I still can't believe how it all turned out,Sigh.
I use to force myself to stop thinking about you, and you had no clue.
I thought you cared but i'm a fool.
I'm the realest, someone is gonna appreciate my heart, i'm greatful we depart.
Thank you, i've fought you though it was hard,
Probally i'm over exaggerating but what I felt was deep,
I guess that's what made me weak.
I guess thinking was what made me dumb but those who've never fall ,
Wouldn't know where I'm coming from.


-dpk

Why? Why is it so hard to walk away from you?
All you  had given me was pain
Yet theres this force that exerts me towards you
What does this mean?
I cant stay mad at you, i always seem to forgive
I always show you love, you know i would never hurt you the way you did.
This can't be love, we weren't even in a relationship but Lord knows I care for you like a fool
I saw potential in you, i had us all planned out
But i guess thats what happen when you expect too much
You made me feel so crushed.
The way you chose someone else over me
How can this be
It was so ease for you to leave me.
I guess seeing your true colours was the right thing for me.

-dpk

Have you ever felt so unloved?
Your heart just chokes with all the pain and bruise.
Left an unbanded scar open,
All the love and memories being stolen.

How can you hurt a heart that's already broken?
Just ****** the little feelings, capturing all the meanings.
Is it hard for it to be repaired?

Just holes that beats melodicaly but scared.
Pounding, killing that lil' thing we need for survival,
Yet attacking all the happiness as its rival

Who needs something that traumatizes them emotionally, physically, wanting it to die desperately?

It's just a rhythm that feeds on you,
Rottening and displaying you.
Just a body with beautiful features,
But a heart that's a horrifying creature.

-dpk

They said to stay away from those that grew up on survival and not love.
That those individuals are too broken to love or they'll hurt you because their past was too tough.
That the daddy and mommy issues clings onto them like a leach,
Altering their thoughts, moods, decisions,
They're the people that got heaven and hell in them and you dare not to get close to them.
They're selfish.
They won't keep you up at 2 am so you can hug on their sorrow,
They won't leave trails of destruction in your chat so you can kiss them tomorrow.
They won't change their image so you can feel a different energy,
They won't half love you no matter how ugly your soul may be.
Instead they will push you away repeatedly and love you from a distance because they know if you come any closer, you'll see them for who they really are.
Mentally they're gone so far but they're here feeding on the emotions of false love and happiness to keep them holding on from letting go.
They're afraid that you'll see how weak they really are when their lungs are so tired of pumping something they don't know.
They don't know what it is to feel love in their bloodstream that they get so high off affection.
They don't know how to enjoy a plate of food because the inside of their stomach tie into knots of neglect they refuse to mention.
They don't know how to smile with sincerity because everything that supposed to bring them happiness destroys them in the most blissful way.
They don't know what it is to kiss your wounds because their wounds went unseen everyday.
Don't love somebody with daddy or momma issues they say.
But I say to love them so deep that they forget what it's like to breathe the oxygen that once tore them apart day by day..


-dpk

A breath of fresh air I crave for,
The nuisance and animosity surrounding me has no cure.
Doors batted up serve no purpose when you can’t escape the wind,
The wind of hatred spirals and wounds the innocence of sin.
Eyes inflamed with skeletons and dark secrets,
Therapy, police, family none but God can keep it.
Mouth overfilled with profanity and the key,
Mind enclosed the dying body everyone blinded to see.
The truth everyone seeks for but incompetent of their well-being,
Undergoing a spiritual healing but contemplating the negatives I’m actually seeing.
Tears falling echoing the halls of pain,
My mental stability has me sane.
Fractured mirror unable to reflect the truth,
Burning desires capturing the mute.
Dead rosses fume the air of reminiscence,
Each one of us committed a sin.
Consequences of a shattered heart and hidden perpetrators,
The key of truth swallowed in weakness beseech by the caters.
Chaos, conflict, evolution of pain,
Unable to be understood, lines of experience written in vain.





-dpk

People lose hope to the fact of being let down or failure
But you can't expect to progress without failure.
See failure is something we need to experience
We need to fall to pick ourself back up.
We need to struggle to motivate us to do better.
Though we may not like hitting rock bottom or fighting the battle to strive everyday but it's our thrive.
We crave success and reaching to the top.
Most of us crave power.
But when we reach to the top we sometime lose ourself, change the person we are, become a monstor.
So is that what it's like?
After going through all the rough steps, from the speed bumps to the mountains to reach the top just to become someone we're not for money, fame or publicity?
Having all this power and dragging down everyone to your liking, being disgusting all because of this power you have.
After having people stick by your side encouraging you and you promising those that you'll make it better for them and change the world but instead change yourself.
How can we progress and trust when we can't even trust ourselves?

-dpk

It's a pitty how in a room full of people i still feel alone.
It's like my emptiness follows me, knaws at my soul,
I sit there in persuasion maybe it'll go away soon.
No matter what I do it comes back and feeds on my emotions,
I'm already an emotional wreck, here I am coping,
Contemplating is love my healing potion?
It always lead back to you or the past,
The monstors attack my mind putting me in a state where I'm consciously blind ,
And I contemplate how long will it last.
How long will I bury myself in pain and heartache, hiding behind a smile i know is fake?
How do i stop the tears from overflowing like niagara falls, running from the past sinking in a river full of emotions
Cast away from reality sitting numb thinking maybe God will rescue me.
Or am I to blame?
Looking at a reflection full of bad decisions and self pitty covered in beauty.
Screams echoing in my mind, a hand holding on for help to rescue what i perceive to be loneliness
Weaken to the thought of getting better floating in a puddle of melancholia.
Why do we sacrifice ourselves for the one we love?
The door to escape is in front of me but I'm too weak to cross that mile.
I want happiness yet I walk in an emotional ******* that has me chained to what ifs and why me?
My mind attacks my heart to let go perceiving me of what I should see.
Tired of running and falling over what could be. Here I am pleading for the key to let me be free.
Even a lit ****  cannot escape me from this emotional pit,  
This ******* that infuriates my mentality has me questioning my sanity that provokes me to profanity lying to myself blatantly.
Broken, bitterness, nostalgic.
Attached to the pain, the piece of me you took,
Attached to the past, the experiences that has me so shook.
The emptiness suffocates me as I wait for a better destiny.
I kneel on my knees and ask God to help me overcome this heartbreak that's severity.
I love you slipped from your mouth that chained me in your arms, that latched me to your feelings, that exerted me to stay,
If only I knew, i should've just walked away.




-dpk

Constantly asked what's on your mind,
But it's just hard to define.
Ranging from past situations to over thinking bull,
Thoughts scattered all about making my head full.
Doors slam, loud crys
A lonely girl murmurs inside.
Positive words, strong heart, everyone seems to wonder.
Walking through doors leading to no where,
Bucking up into walls just to realize no one cares.
Can you hear me? Can you hear the thunder that soar from her heart?
Can you see the lighting that sparks in her eyes that makes a fire in your soul?
Can you see she's just playing a role?
Fell off mountains, tumbled down skyscrapers just get back on your feet,
You don't know hard that line was too meet.
Leave me alone, can't you see i'm stone.
Outcast from love i truly desire, running  to words i know that'll set me on fire.
I don't mean to but my actions portray insincerity,
No on was there to give me sincerity.
Alone in a box running from thoughts ticking like a bomb.
Bomb, oops no it just was an alarm.
I can't hold it in , i'm so tired.
See me as someone you admire.
Always being the last one to matter, please don't enhance me with your flatter.
Words spilled on paper to captivate the destruction within,
Trust me, i'm not going to let you win.

-dpk

Here I am battling myself again.
The constant battle between my mind and the heart i try to amend.
So bold so swift as it strucks at midnight ,
So heartbreaking in such a rage as it attack me with no sympathy in sight.  Can you stop,  why can't you just let me be?
Is it so hard for you to see that i just can't let it be while i have sentimental songs on repeat thinking if this was how it was really meant to be.
Reminiscing of your lips on mine while your hands gently rub my thigh.
Lifting the hairs on my body sending me to a ****** high.
I refuse to forget the times we had, the stories we shared holding hands to the sunrise .
As our hearts dance to the bittersweet joy of each other's presence but it was all a lie.
Was it real or did you choke me as i suffer and crave to breathe your love?
Did you put a gun to my head to shoot me with bullets made of your tender touch and sweet sound?
Was it a knife to slith my throat carved as you adoring smile or was it your aroma that knocked me down?
How am i suppose to think when my head is a blur because all i see is your charmy face?
My heart once again poisoned by your warm embrace .
My mind once again in chaos since i lost the race.
The race between my love and you,
The race that taught me my love wasn't enough for you .
The desolation, the despair, the amusing blue,
Sick to my stomach with all the things you do.
As i walk away this time with no doubt in my mind you were never mine though i fell for your lines ashamed my stupidity made it fine.
Now I'm here writing rhymes because my heart sunk in your quicksand of lies.
Here i am battling myself again,
I knew i should've kept you as a friend.






-dpk

Why? Why is it so hard to walk away from you?
All you  had given me was pain
Yet theres this force that exerts me towards you
What does this mean?
I cant stay mad at you, i always seem to forgive
I always show you love, you know i would never hurt you the way you did.
This can't be love, we weren't even in a relationship but Lord knows I care for you like a fool
I saw potential in you, i had us all planned out
But i guess thats what happen when you expect too much
You made me feel so crushed.
The way you chose someone else over me
How can this be
It was so ease for you to leave me.
I guess seeing your true colours was the right thing for me.

-dpk

I want to run away you know,
Like see the world, see the beauty of nature.
See the excitement of alcohol and partying.
See the beautiful smiles & laughter
I know, i know there's consequences but theres so much more to life.
And i'm so tired, tired living in a dream,
Tired living in a prison.
Yes i crave for success but i crave for happiness and memories.
I want to run away ,
Not only to be free
But to find myself, to live the life, see all the beauty & mystery, find success & Christianity.
I'm so determined to be different, to be a successful christian outlaw.
I wanna find love, the type of love that makes me don't wanna sleep because finally reality is my fantasy.
Theres just so much things i want to achieve,
But for right now
I gotta settle in depression & dreams.

-dpk

I dare you to let me be your  one and only.
I'm sick and tired of being lonely,
I just need you to hold me.
I wanna say you're all mines without look like a fool,
I want to show you off, be the news in school.
Nobody need to know our business but when they see you they know you're my private business.
I'm scared to fall for you.
What if you don't catch me, what if you lead me on
I can't imagine you doing me wrong.
But i'm always in this position,
Caring more, loving more, hurt repeatedly.
I'm tired hoping this time would be different,
I want you to show me, i don't want to listen.
I want you to love me, i don't want to be the crazy one for once.
I don't want us to catch feelings and it just bounce.
Crave me like i crave you.
Show me what the others couldn't do. Make me understand why it didnt work it all those other times,
I'm tired of just writing my feelings for you in rhymes.
I guess i'm love blind.

-dpk