Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
jas Jul 2019
I cry myself to sleep at night
if you only knew what it takes to be alive
if living is a crime
I'd be in jail for the rest of my life

how can you live in a world like this?
making you beg for everything

do you believe in true love?
do you believe in happy endings?

I know it's hard
it's hard to face the world alone

these tears have dried
if only for tonight
when I close my eyes
I think of a dream
          
                         it's you and me,
                          having the picnic of our lives
                          nobody to bother us,
                         stuck in disguise
                        frozen for just a moment in time
                         all I need is to have you here with me

what is the need to live?
the need to exist?

already stuck in this mind felt prison
handcuffs on my brain
I've already gone insane
it's too late to reach my heart
I tore that **** apart
it's all over the floor

who are you to judge me?
you know absolutely nothing

nothing about me


don't even try.
jas Jul 2019
don’t know why your my problem
why do i feel so guilty to solve it
is it something i did
can i ever take it back?
why does it feel so right
when it’s so wrong
but what do you know?
that i don’t

please don’t forget
that between me and you
it’s the truth
jas Jun 2019
this narrative has had its wear and tear
down to the last page that slips effortlessly off the book
pulling back strings to fit the ending
live action marionette

indulging in countless ways to flee
how could I ever?
eyes like a hawk vigourously watching over me
planning to escape is mind altering

hearts injecting blood a million miles per second
hold my breath as the goosebumps trickle under my spine
fingers twitching with rage
it's time to break out of this cage

sweat seeps off my face
leaving a line of dirt
momentarily, battle scars

I knew this day would come
just sooner than expected
but what did I expect?

existing, just barely
imprisoned in this jest of reality
caught between the societies realm of a fantasy
or breaking the barriers and taking a leap

numerous routes that divide into alternating states
yet the predominant remains
intimidation haunts me
crowding my thoughts

I always thought hell existed deep in my mentality
these dark memories combating to come to the surface
until one day I blinked and realized
hell is neighboring me

hell is leisures from the past that overstays their welcome
hell is energy deteriorating in souls you've attached to
hell is being starved of communication
hell is the strings penetrating your every move
hell is receiving no feedback from the energy you put out
hell is taking your last breath every day just to wake up to the same old *******
hell is repeating "go f### yourself", and its never going to stop

left for dead
in dire need of an escape
this is me sending a signal
sos, ... save me

planning this scheme for too long takes a toll on my soul
confusing reality with a dream
is this authentic or a figment of my imagination
am I hallucinating?

waited ages for an escape
overwhelmed over things I have no command over
will this justify the end?
and leave no cliffhangers to deal with repercussions
that is my chaotic life

an arrogant scenario to arise from
jas Jun 2019
-
a shower does not wash my sins away
seeping deep into desperation
hold my breath just a bit longer
I rest my eyes
but my mind wanders

how did I make this a habit?
jas Jun 2019
how can i be asked to celebrate?
a day for you , i can’t relate
to much of anything anymore
it’s unreal to be branded such a holiday
which you took no part of

imagine a kid calling you dad
because you took part in a role
i still don’t understand

imagine we share that same person
it had to be you, why you?
why me?

i feel sorry for not getting to know me
twenty some years later,
it’s hard to believe
i’ve lived this life so long that it is my reality

i can’t have daddy issues if i never had a dad

i am still out in the world ,  not waiting to be found

a stranger in the rear view mirror
a face in the crowd

this day was not meant for you
you’d be a fool ...
jas May 2019
gap
the heart has me wretched
drinking every day
is not the best method

but out of nowhere,
I found a piece I was missing
how could I detect
he was never distant

fulfilling my gap
between my soul and heart
has been a surprise
a work of art

the end is the beginning
so cliche
I know

yet, my heart leads my soul to believe
you could be the one for me
if I just let it happen

or vice versa...
jas May 2019
really don't want to type
words onto this screen
when I could be making them real
if only you agree with me
then we could have
a playful cross over with words

crazy how I feel indestructible
or untouchable
my soul attracts
what it craves
no less than another soul

one that matches equal energy
what is given, shall be received
if another experience is what the signs sent to me
Next page