I tell you that I love you, but in my head I'm saying I don't trust you.

I'm sorry.

THEN

I do everything in my power to make you happy
To make them happy
My life is an endless cycle of trying to help and being told what I did wrong.
If I can’t make you happy, and I can’t make them happy, why should I make myself happy?

NOW

I’m leaving the place I feel my most comfortable
I’ll never perform in my home again.
There will be new homes but until then, I’ll sulk in my miserably wonderful existence,
Hating who I am, and who I’ll become.
I’ll watch you walk away,
I know I’ll eventually be ok

LATER**

You counted me out of your plans,
While they counted me out of their lives.
I love who I’ve become
But I hate what I put myself through to get here.

I’ll always love being miserable

I washed my soul free of guilt and of anger, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't wash away the sadness. I tried to cover up the stain it left, but I couldn't seem to hide it.  Fake smiles worked for a while, but eventually that was covered by tears. After that I tried doing reckless, stupid things, and that seemed to work the best. Unfortunately I was hurting my self in the process, so I stopped with that. Now I help others with their stains, I've found it to even be fun, and every time I help get rid of theirs, mine gets a little lighter.