Yes, I'm afraid to let you in. I'm afraid that you'll listen and care for the moment. I'm afraid you'll hear every syllable that leaves my lips. I'm afraid you'll analyze it all and reach the point where I'm deemed as "not worth it". I'm afraid you'll throw me away like *******. Like everyone else has.

Still onward winds the dreary way;
  I with it; for I long to prove
  No lapse of moons can canker Love,
Whatever fickle tongues may say.

And if that eye which watches guilt
  And goodness, and hath power to see
  Within the green the moulder'd tree,
And towers fall'n as soon as built--

Oh, if indeed that eye foresee
  Or see (in Him is no before)
  In more of life true life no more
And Love the indifference to be,

Then might I find, ere yet the morn
  Breaks hither over Indian seas,
  That Shadow waiting with the keys,
To shroud me from my proper scorn.

I am not strong
as synaptic junctions
stutter and fail
and blood pulses hot
against thin arterial walls.

I cram sticky little secrets
into the space between
the mirror and the wall
and put on my best
**** eating grin-
hiding behind words
that slip and lukewarm
nihilism.

I am not strong
as outlines blur into
shimmering watercolor
and my hands grip the railing
for a fleeting sense of
functional equilibrium.

I give you only the things
that I deem worthy of letting go-
only the meek and sickening
remembrances of insanity,
the things that I can
romanticize aloud.

I am not strong
as my brain fills with
black thoughts and
death wishes like saccharine.

I am not strong
but you've never asked me to be.
You know that muscles pull
and that I only have the strength
to push.
You haven't tried to iron out
the lines of my smile yet
nor made demands
or promises that lie unkept.

I am not strong,
but perhaps
there is something
more.

lord
i am
your blacksmith
free to
do your will
through
my skills
to
fashion
this world
with
hammer  and anvil
turning
swords of men
into
wooden ploughs
thus
give it backbone again

Jeg kiggede på himlen og fik højdeskræk

i seem to
have-so-much-to-say
to
you
i want you
to know/the/whole/story
    the rest
justdoesn'tmatter
how did it ever
...come to this...¿
i've always been so
...comfortable...
in. my. own. shadow.