And the morning after
            is always tinged with regret;
I can see it in the sunrise before I
            open my curtains.
If only I could pretend
            that, some days, it doesn't
            keep me better company
            than my faithful lover.

© Indigo Kenna

Oh, it is so difficult to be loved
     when you know you do not
               deserve it.
I would destroy myself
     if not for you,
but to do so would destroy you, too.
I still scrub away at the edges of myself,
     but I cannot disappear
               with you.

I am not used to love
and you chase me down with it as a torch;
                I haunt you, a moth to your flame.
How can I survive this
                     fire that does not burn?


I cannot hold on to you;
I will not hold on to you,
     and yet you hold on
                              to me.

The fire keeps the shadow alive.

(c) 2022 Indigo Kenna

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

I loved you
For an eternity.
But then you ended that eternity
With a knife.

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

Don't take away the burning chill of pain from me.
No, not yet.
Not while I still need it.

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

Lovely like the meadows,
Rugged like the cliffs;
You took a longing look at me
But then left me behind to drift.

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna