The relationship a girl has with her father shouldn't be a focused one
no one side should have to fight more than the other and no one side should think he's great because he pays the bills
the other shouldn't crave it after 17 years of disappointment but it does because that's what it was taught "behave, honor your mother and father, wait till the day your dad walks you down the aisle and gives you great advice"
the only thing in life I've wanted to do was to impress you and make you proud but that's hard when you still don't care
I act it out as a great relationship on birthday, holidays, and when you're sick but in return I get nothing but "I'm sorry sweetie", "you're just a kid", and "again I'm sorry"
I scream at you because I want it so bad but just can't hold that back until I cry like a child
It rips me apart inside to know that I'll never have a great relationship with you
I look at other people and think yeah I love my dad too but the thing that hurts the most is that one day all this love that I have will turn into something horrible

~~♥~~

I used to think men
should be more like books
Both you cannot
judge by looks...

If I didn't want to finish reading
I put it down... no heart was bleeding

A book will never fuss or fight
It will stay with you
through the night...

It doesn't smoke. It doesn't drink.
It won't leave toothpaste
in the sink!

It doesn't binge... it don't eat...
It won't leave up the toilet seat!

It don't forget. It doesn't mope.
It won't hog the TV remote!

It doesn't have to have
The last say...
It doesn't have legs

to walk away.

But it's not soft. It isn't warm.
It doesn't keep you
safe from harm.

Even though it makes no fuss
It can't think. It can't discuss.

Even though it has its charms
it can't hold you in its arms.

It doesn't pine. It doesn't miss.
It can't hug and it can't kiss.

So now I think on it again...
... I think BOOKS should be
             more like MEN!!!


SoulSurvivor
2/20/2015

When I first saw your face I knew
It was a face I could look at for a very long time

When I first heard your voice I knew
It was a voice I would never tire of

And when I held your hand I knew
It was a hand I could hold
And never let go

Why does something that is supposed to bring you up to highest you ever been always take you down to the lowest you will ever find your soul
You give and give and no one ever takes what you have to offer but in times when they need it I'm sad a lot and I wonder if someone ever did take would I be happy?

The very first was hard and sad as ****
When the anniversary rolled around I was more sad because I realize hadn't talked to david since that day
New years eve *****
Now I'm sad

My sixteenth year my parents split up a broken hot mess of a marriage and told me everything would be okay
Which put me into a war zone that had forgetful family and rumors
As time went on I realized that what I always hated was what I longed for the most which was togetherness
Depression settle in about six months later and everyone believed it was the others fault
No one realized that I had a brain that could think for itself
For I knew if I continued down the road I was going I would do something bad
I met a person who let me talk and understood the life I was living who didn't laugh when I said what I felt and who told me it wasn't going to okay it would take time but eventually I would live a better life
"All shall pass" is what she said and I tattooed that on my heart for I knew it was true I've always known my life will be good one day and happiness will be abundant but for now help is what I need
Life won't always be good but you have to live on the dream that it will be and that all shall pass

I lay on the couch and look at the tree
the tree that held so much love and happiness
the tree that now is just a tree