Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 Jan 2018 Dylan Mcconnell
haley
love is not a safe word
it’s one haiku revised 400 times
on cracked leather chairs in the corner of cafés

some of us love badly
she says as she kisses the rim of her glass.
some of us love stretched out
like pizza dough that rips when our rolling pin rolls it too thin.

some of us love in secrecy
we do not trust your hands.
you try to pull our scalp off and draw your portrait on our mind

some of us love clean
like bubble bath that smells like lavender from some fancy store in the mall
some of us love *****
we cant clean you off our skin

some of us kiss with our teeth
some of us braid our lovers into our hair
and when we remove the hair tie
it is crimped and messy and tangled

some of us love love
but only far from home
when we slip into bed we start thinking
and we can’t stay still

some of us wash our clothes even when they don’t smell
or aren’t stained
just because it feels like you are inside of our shirts and pants and sneakers

some of us walk alone past your house
on the way to ours
and stop at the front step
waiting for you to come out
and smile at us
the only thing we wait for today
are the smudged signatures of snails
scrawled across your pavement

some of us love to the bone
until there are no more “ifs”
just “is” and “are”
the collected poems of our fingers
swollen, bruised, red like a bouquet of roses

some of us love
and we regret it
we never get home in time for dinner because of it, we leak like a faulty faucet, we sleep with our pillows over our heads to keep everything in
but some of us love
some of us own a watch and know the time with a glance at our wrist, some of us own a sponge to soak up the water, some of us own satin pillows that feel like whispers on our cheekbones
She opened her eyes to white walls
White sheets
A pain in her jaw that felt concrete
She couldn't feel her face
Her jaw was filled with an empty space
Then she remembered
The bullet that was meant to ****
Missed its mark as if it was aimed with skill
A shattered jaw
restrains her maw
All she wants to ever do
Is scream her problems away
Her Mother shattered and broken hearted runs to her bedside
She hears her Father was at work as usual
He nearly lost one of the greatest blessings this world has to offer
But he's to busy making money and making offers
She goes to the therapy
Mental and physical
She hears she may never be able to eat or speak the same way again
The therapy doesn't help
She feels like a floating piece of kelp
She feels she has no purpose in life
No reason to exist
So if living hurts
Then why live at all?
Then one day
She hears a knock on the door
She opens it
There she sees that girl in the hall she always avoided
That girl who tried to tell her about God and Jesus
Before she thought her and her God were silly
But now she feels chilly
She lets her in
She tells her about a God who loves her
A God who gave her a reason to live
She realizes the futility of the atheism she grew up with
She goes to church with her friend
To her surprise people welcome her
Although she looks different with her deformed jaw
They welcome her and seat her in the front row
She hears more of this God
To hear it sounds kind of crazy
Then she hears about the evidence of his existence
Her heart immediately becomes whole
She accepts Jesus as her savior
She feels love like nothing this world ever promised her
Then she gets to know that guy in her youth group
Shes been burned before
But every time before
They always wanted something
All he wanted to do was give her something
He gave her kindness and respect
He gave her love
Whenever they talk
All he cares about is her dreams and what she wants
He talks about himself only when she asks
As she grows older she prays and prays
That God would show her if he is the one
On her twenty third birthday
He brings a gift
A ring
She knows immediately
He's the one
You see when she listened to Jesus
He led her to a husband who loves and honors her
When she followed the world
She settled for thieves
And boys who claimed to be men
If only every American Teen Romance had this ending
Unfortunately they end up worse
 Jan 2018 Dylan Mcconnell
Lori
Toxic
 Jan 2018 Dylan Mcconnell
Lori
I met you
You hurt me
You used me
You broke me
You were toxic
But I still let you in
I thought I deserved it
And again
You hurt me
You used me
You broke me
It was toxic
And it still goes on again
●a letter from the numb girl●
Next page