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  Dec 2020 ilias
ghost
let me drown
to the depths of the abyss
let me sink in regret
I have to understand
the crimes I've committed
only then can I truly change
ilias Dec 2020
all the dead sunflowers
in my mind
they were drowning
in the vacuum
I gave them up
to see them
loosing their
blossoms
and I felt so
incredibly powerful
as I drowned
myself too
ilias Dec 2020
I am freezing, shivering, I am so cold.
The lights went out long before and the sun is slowly setting and nothing will ever be okay again.
Curtains? Closed.
Jul, please stop crying. Yes, our hands are embraced but as if one of us could ever give the other one halt. No, this time is not different than the other times, you are still crying, mum still shouting, dad still working, and I am still breathing. But I wish it was. Different.
We both feel the tension in our never-resting minds, all this muddled energy in our heads.
The room, yours, is not filled with enough air at all, and mum is breathing so heavily that I am worried she might get a heart attack when she‘ll continue on raging.
We‘re in a theatre, mum is the director and she loves to see us burning on the screen.
Until the very end.
-
Hey mum, I didn‘t recognise you, good that you are yourself again. I was worried you might never again turn into the less-stressed but still stressed-to-death person that you were before your fit of rage.
Jul look, now you‘ve made mum cry, what a misery she created.
Now the sun is gone, curtains are still closed but mum is with us again and you are still crying but this time it is your problem, right?
ilias Dec 2020
you
I am mesmerised
by every
little change
in your eyes
it is the
purest form of
energy
the light
in you
that always
flickers
  Dec 2020 ilias
Kairosclere
I yearn to be
In all the places
That we cannot reach
And maybe taste that success
That people claim
To be so sweet.
I mean, though, it should be easy xD
Too lazy to actually work, yet I want everything the world has to offer :'
ilias Dec 2020
above all echos,  
here I stand
with spread arms
it took me long to realise
I am strong
I overcame sysiphus
now here I stand
convincing myself
that it was faith
that led me here
to the hills of serendipity
sysiphus still lives in me but maybe I’ll get to the peak one day!
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