youcancallmesierra

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

uncivil

if i had you
i wouldn't need anybody else
but you won't take me
so now i've gotta fend for myself
looking into me
and turning over once you're done
seeing what you wanna see
no longer interested whatever it was
don't want to assume the worst
and i'm not trying to be scummy
but you can only make me feel so stupid
and take so much from me
before i can't be as patient and kind
as i really wanna be
i just wanna be treated like a person
it's not even that deep

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

get off of me

am i toxic
or am i right
that's how you like it
when i put up a fight

but i don't want to be right
i want to be alive

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

owed

it's misplaced hatred
but blame me if you want
i couldn't be the idea of the person
you wanted to believe in so bad

dont't worry though
you let me know it too
how i was the worst
because i couldn't love you back

in the same way
i still care even now
but that doesn't matter
and i don't know if i will ever reach forgiveness

all i can hope
is that you learn to find happiness
in yourself and not rely on others
to be the cure of your human sickness

i didn't know who i was
but you wanted me to be your everything
i was always gonna fail
because it's impossible to fulfill such fantasy
for years i doubted my decisions
because i felt horrible for not being who you needed
your selfishness no longer has its hooks in me
still even now i'm fighting your demons

tell me how the **** is that fair

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

lesson learned

**** the blood off my teeth
i let myself get this weak
slithered through the gapes
bit down as soon as it was safe
waited till i was comfortable
at my most vulnerable
you knew i wouldn't survive
but if it makes you feel alive
there is nothing you wouldn't do

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

answer. the. question.

satan was his favorite angel
and he still let him fall
don't wanna assume the worst for you
but something about this feels wrong
why wouldn't you hurt me is a question
i hate to ask but i hear in the back of my mind
everytime you linger just a bit longer
and try to stare into my eyes
so what if you want more
if you don't want it all
don't wanna invest the last of my trust
if you're gonna just drop the ball
this is a lot for me and a lot to me
sorting through emotions
definitions and technicalities
seem like such commotion
why can't we just try to give the other
what they ask without thinking too much
but expecting you to be as thoughtful as me
is asking too much

i just wanna make you feel good
what are you trying to do to me

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

urbreakingup

you know they say love is blind
all your red flags up on display
with thousands of views
you ****** with my head
now i feel so alone and used

you said you wanted me
you lied through your teeth
you said you wanted me
that you would never leave
and now i'm left here so ******* confused

look at all my insecurities
now on display for the world to see
you made me feel useless
left to clean up this mess
once again

you said you wanted me
you lied through your **** teeth
you said you wanted me
that you would never leave
look at me sitting here struggling to breathe

i told you how i felt
you still show no remorse or guilt
still no response
no spontaneous admission of love
that i wish your heart felt
look at me picking up my pieces once again
the distance ruined what could have been

red flags that were somehow not seen
when you said you wanted me
when you promised to never leave
you lied through your **** teeth
and you know it

trusted you with with my insecurities
thought we were sharing vulnerability
now as i struggle to breathe
it's out in the open for all to see
and you condone it

yes
you control it
if you feel guilty
you don't show it
facade never cracks
not for a moment

yes
i should've known it
with most of these feelings
i've outgrown them
nonetheless i'm here
but i don't wanna own it

i told you how i felt
still no response, still no guilt, no remorse
no attempts at reaching out from your end

no spontaneous admission of love
look at me picking up my pieces once again
the distance ruined what could have been

youcancallmesierra Nov 2021

foreclosed

blue spilling out across my mind
it was easy enough to find
swallowed by the memory
called it too close to get out fine
without scraping the sides
and burning myself alive
with the feelings i still have
running back into the fire
it's not fair to my heart
but i have to try
i know you don't care anymore
but these memories are also still mine