you know they say love is blind
all your red flags up on display
with thousands of views
you ****** with my head
now i feel so alone and used

you said you wanted me
you lied through your teeth
you said you wanted me
that you would never leave
and now i'm left here so ******* confused

look at all my insecurities
now on display for the world to see
you made me feel useless
left to clean up this mess
once again

you said you wanted me
you lied through your **** teeth
you said you wanted me
that you would never leave
look at me sitting here struggling to breathe

i told you how i felt
you still show no remorse or guilt
still no response
no spontaneous admission of love
that i wish your heart felt
look at me picking up my pieces once again
the distance ruined what could have been




red flags that were somehow not seen
when you said you wanted me
when you promised to never leave
you lied through your **** teeth
and you know it

trusted you with with my insecurities
thought we were sharing vulnerability
now as i struggle to breathe
it's out in the open for all to see
and you condone it

yes
you control it
if you feel guilty
you don't show it
facade never cracks
not for a moment

yes
i should've known it
with most of these feelings
i've outgrown them
nonetheless i'm here
but i don't wanna own it

i told you how i felt
still no response, still no guilt, no remorse
no attempts at reaching out from your end

no spontaneous admission of love
look at me picking up my pieces once again
the distance ruined what could have been

blue spilling out across my mind
it was easy enough to find
swallowed by the memory
called it too close to get out fine
without scraping the sides
and burning myself alive
with the feelings i still have
running back into the fire
it's not fair to my heart
but i have to try
i know you don't care anymore
but these memories are also still mine

that pocket of reality
where you still want me
is where my brain idles when i finally get a break

it's counterproductive
but it helps me function
despite all of the excuses i continue to make

no you never promised
and if i'm being honest
i suffocate in all the things you would never say

it's that fact that you can lie
and i just have to let it slide
because you owe me nothing even if i don't like it that way

and what's one more crime
circle around the block another time
collateral of the path of destruction left in your wake

it's easy to be dumb
but now i'm harder than i was
and one day i won't even care about this pain

or at least i hope

i swear to god
i swear to ******* god
oh god what have i done

the manifestation
my rotten imagination
think i'm gonna throw up

you dont understand
how such thoughts can
break someone down to nothing

i'm not strong enough for this
i'm too tired to throw a fit
just keep finding things to take from me

and you giggle as i mourn
its okay if it get broken
as long as it's not yours
i didn't ask to be born
i didn't want it to come to this
but we're here whether or not we like it
but you make it impossible
for me to live
because you ruin everything i'm still living for

you had me there
for a second
i cared
but now it's cold
where it used to be warm

catered to a part
of me and it almost
fooled my heart
but i let go
before you could do more

respectfully
where do you come off
thinking you can be like this to me
loneliness can cause delusions
but i'm not that desperate

have had quite a few
realizations after
crossing paths with you
it's okay that i cared
it was just for a second

one moment of weakness
that's all you'll ever be
if i'm nothing that's alright
whatever you make of me
i'm everything you said
the insults don't pack that same punch
when i know you'll always believe
whatever keeps you emotionally numb
are all those selfish reasons you live for
gonna be worth it when
everyone's left and you're broken again
tell me who's gonna save you then

i'm trying to understand
be patient with me
really outdid yourself this time

can't reach far enough
to jump to the conclusions
that would make any of this alright

wrong names and tiring games
changing your mind
in the middle of the night

the universe
just really wanted me to know
that the only thing i can get from someone like you is a pretty lie

and short-lived one at that
can't even keep the ruse up
long enough for me be hypnotized

letting the anesthesia wear off
before you bleed me dry
cause you get pleasure from watching the last of my hope die

past discretions
burned-in sights
carnal pleasures
easy fights
you picked on me
cause you knew that i

would crumble beneath
your lightest touch
like teasing incessantly
and taking too much
my softest intentions
crumpled up