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don't think so highly of myself
so when i saw the way you've been
of course it was a thought
but not one i even wanna have again
regardless and anyways
who ever she might be
someone else who caught your heart
most likely not me
hope healing is able to find you
and that answers you need are found
sometimes the people we'd die searching for
don't want to be found
somewhere i'd swear
between freefall and impact
i'm using the opportunity
to find my way back
to the crack that
i crawled out from
detailing the path
to what i've become
using the story
to backtrace my soul
before i lose the powers
of the rabbit hole
blistering miami heat
tracing vermillion with keys
you don't know what you do to me
you have nothing to do with me
drowsy eyes fade off to sleep
eyelashes twitching with dreams
i am nowhere to be seen
but you are the center of my fantasies
as you sink into the leather seat
unaware of my misery
and the increasing speed
fast asleep
dissected like a toad
carved down to the bone
every piece of me gets sold
be it pound of flesh or ounce of soul
everyone got their chunk of me
nothing but a hunk of meat
apparently
not a person who feels things
just an object to take
a possession to break
the many ways you violate
just to self satiate
i didn't wanna listen today
so that meant 'my vibe was off'
i didn't wanna cater to your feelings
or be subjected to you going on and on
about your poor decisions
when you consistently devalue our bond
i'm tired of feeling like we're getting somewhere
to get proved embarrassingly wrong
you pick everyone and everything over me
so i just couldn't care anymore
when you asked me to tell you how i felt
you just looked so detached and bored
i don't even know why you want to be friends
apparently you're looking for something more
i'm just tired of ripping up my feelings
to help you bandage yours
it's really sad if you think about it
how fast we burned to nothing
thats why i don't think anymore
so if you're running out of reasons trust me
there goes another one
add it to the pile of flaws i've accrued
in this process of trying to become
loved by you
walking away with nothing but my pride
in the end
wouldn't dare reach out now
or bear to call you a friend
it's easy to say it now
but you would've never said it then
you didn't even have those kind of thoughts
and haven't had them since
you would be the world's biggest liar
if you tried to say you felt the same
you're sparing no feelings and frankly i'm insulted
how easily you could lie to my face
and just like good people get hurt
mistreated in ways they don't deserve
innocents cut down for show
for a pound of flesh they didn't owe
i know the world will never be fair
when we need somebody they're never there
but i pray you never forget that i'd love you through hell
when i can't break the distance in time to
tell you myself
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