i didn't wanna listen today
so that meant 'my vibe was off'
i didn't wanna cater to your feelings
or be subjected to you going on and on
about your poor decisions
when you consistently devalue our bond
i'm tired of feeling like we're getting somewhere
to get proved embarrassingly wrong
you pick everyone and everything over me
so i just couldn't care anymore
when you asked me to tell you how i felt
you just looked so detached and bored
i don't even know why you want to be friends
apparently you're looking for something more
i'm just tired of ripping up my feelings
to help you bandage yours

it's really sad if you think about it
how fast we burned to nothing
thats why i don't think anymore
so if you're running out of reasons trust me
there goes another one
add it to the pile of flaws i've accrued
in this process of trying to become
loved by you
walking away with nothing but my pride
in the end
wouldn't dare reach out now
or bear to call you a friend
it's easy to say it now
but you would've never said it then
you didn't even have those kind of thoughts
and haven't had them since
you would be the world's biggest liar
if you tried to say you felt the same
you're sparing no feelings and frankly i'm insulted
how easily you could lie to my face

horrific manifestations
stuff i never want to come true
pushing myself through the monotony
never losing track of you
i'm just so far that i know
it's easy to forget how much i care
i'm worried about the things you might do
when i'm unable to be there
imagined getting the call right then
and when my phone rang i began to cry
it was just another telemarketer
but it was too real in that moment in time
imagining a world without you
broken as it is
your absence so unfillable
no way to make amends
i don't wanna have any regrets
and you're right when you say i'm wasting time
i know if i lost you today
i'd wish i'd have taken fifty flights
just to see you once
but i'm trying to not let the intrusive thoughts win
even though i can feel you fading away
a horrid paranoia sets in
please don't do this to me
i knows its not about me but i'm just afraid
i already lost him i don't wanna lose you
on the last leg of my faith

how am i being paranoid
when everything happened the way i thought it would
you ask about my feelings
not to help but to make yourself feel good
and give me pseudo solutions
that fix none of the issues
so when i'm still struggling
you can hit me with the 'maybe i can fix you'
you don't even wanna know me
just like the validation i oft provide
i'm good at making you feel good
and that's enough to keep things nice
but you would never choose me
in fact i'm not even a second thought
the second it's not easy to bounce off me
you question why my vibe is off
my feelings are flexible for you
as you've shown time and time again
i'm sensitive and you just hurt
get confused when you claim i'm your friend