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fix one and two more break
quickly running out of tape
temporary arrangements can't undo mistakes
half *** apologies just cause more pain
would i wanna go out you ask
know what i should say
sure let's make a plan
but i'm too fed up to lie today
not tomorrow no time soon
not until everything is okay
if that hurts your feelings
i'm sorry you feel that way
it's 'all about you' until it actually is
and when it is i'll at least explain
because i'm not a *******
who wants to lie to your face
i'm just trying keep a ship
headed towards disaster at bay
i need to worry about my own problems
before i try to be the change
you're so comfortable depending on me
you don't understand the concept of space
feel like you know the ins and outs better than me
of my own ******* brain
if you don't leave me the **** alone
i can't promise your ego will be safe
just stop trying to uncover things
you dont really wanna face
you just wanna be right
but you're so far off of base
this isn't about making life hard
or trying to pin you with blame
but if you can't give me time
or respect the boundaries i've placed
i find it harder and harder
to displace my hate
to finally be in the grasp
of my unrestrained rage
sometimes it's just too late
for things to stay the same
get it out so i can leave
taking your anger out on me
like you always do
cause you always assume
stay mad if you want
i did what i could
swear that you hate me
this time for good

if thats the case
don't put yourself in the way
wanna push me away
then push me all the ******* way
repeatedly ask for your space
i graciously obey
then i guess you wait
till i finally feel like i've escaped

say whatever it is you need to
as if you haven't already said enough
i'm giving you this chance
though you wouldn't offer me as much
i'm just tired of sitting through your preaching
in your effort to make
me love you more than myself
or become consumed in self hate

you dont want to see me happy
you want me to play a role in yours
you think you know all there is to know
about life and determine its a chore
if you feel like that then hate yourself
and stay out of my life
i tried to care about you genuinely
but i'll never put more effort into yours than mine
broken record scratching
melody cut abruptly
looking around uncertainly
the silence feels so ugly
am i crazy or
did i just feel something touch me
am i confused
or did you swear that you love me

the clock ticks on
but midnight never comes
i'm cinderella to no prince charming

spinning across the marble
alone in the ballroom
with no guarantee you won't harm me

it's late don't you think
i'm worn to the bone
any excuse to escape
a way to go home
i'm grateful but i'm not deceived
by the glamor or the throne
there are evils waiting for me
the second we get alone

you can't keep me here forever
i'm not a toy for your amusement or pleasure
i'll only hate you more with time

trust me when i these things
you can't just decide it all for me
i'm young but i can handle mine
i don't know what to do anymore
i get off and i sit in my car
cause i dont wanna head to the house
but i'm too tired to drive anywhere far
and i dont wanna hang out
i just wanna be somewhere i don't hate
i wanna be alone
i deeply desire to feel safe
i want a lot of things
but i can accept what i have
knowing it could be worse
even if it can get kinda bad
i just want to feel better
i want to breathe and feel like myself again
cold showers help the physical pain
but i want the mental anguish to end
so she left
don't turn right back
thinking you'll find any comfort with me

she turns left
you bet on right
think that you're stuck with me

but i've been gone
for quite some time
no need to worry about me now

didn't notice i was gone
till you had free time
wishing you could lean on me now
pushing all the buttons
top floor
to rock bottom

elevator broken
i'm not moving
out of options

trying to make sense
out of how
i got here

this isn't funny anymore
i suddenly
fear

i didn't wanna
feel the pain
so i shut the door

wanted to forget
just live life
on a different floor

but i'm stuck
in the one place
i don't wanna be

the only place to go is
the only place
i wanna leave

i open my eyes
but i still feel everything
despite my every effort

have to blink again
maybe if i get some sleep
i might feel better

i'm just afraid
if i let go
i'll just be sitting there

staring out of the doorway
watching it happen
forced to stare

can't change the moment
the past is frozen
in itself

maybe it's my fault
never said no
still won't ask for help

i just wanna
get off on a different floor
and be okay

pressing all the buttons
but my situation
stays the same
eyes won't meet mine
cause they know what they'll find
you need to be able to live in yourself

know this wasn't the right time
but you care about your feelings more than mine
you'll just say you couldn't tell

physical contact made me wince
reliving it makes me sick
but you're excited for whatever's 'next'

i'm not lucky enough to forget
unaware you've got the ick
or you know but you continue to press

swear you wanna save her
never needed any savior
but since you're so nice
why do you pretend to not know the safe word
you violate her body and trust
subscribed to a one sided 'love'
you refuse to know the truth
because you're consumed by a need for touch
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