youcancallmesierra

youcancallmesierra Mar 2021

hanging by a thread
should i just cut it off
running circles in my head
why not just stop
i wanted all the best
the cream of the crop
falling off the bed
getting my **** rocked
this is what i get
for not controlling my thoughts
wishes filled my head
up until it popped
dreams will **** you dead
if you allow them the shot

youcancallmesierra Mar 2021

revelle

drawing parallels
to my dismay
finding myself uncomfortable
with the way
things seem to like
lining themselves up
this situation is
convoluted as ****
i'm scared to look beyond
the boundaries i voiced
knowing all of the revelations
that are bound to disappoint
you're different when i'm not around
that's no suprise
just really wanted to believe
you weren't that type of guy

youcancallmesierra Mar 2021

on permanent leave

even when its nothing
its something
trying to make sense
aint it funny
that everytime i turn
you're running
it always has
got to be something

begged for communication
that wasnt fair
now you couldn't even
pay me to care
i waited for you
to figure out your upstairs
but you lied to me
and never moved a hair

you thought my patience
was bottomless
you thought you finally
found your audience
you thought i wouldn't
question the obvious
you thought a lot
but never thought that this

charade you pulled together
would fall apart
you thought you secured
your place in my heart
once you revealed
the way you actually are
pulling away
was anything but hard

you told me you would work on yourself
i never asked you to change
wanted to see you happy
but you just wanted things your way
you never even tried to be better
which is a ******* shame
nevertheless i'm beyond this now
glad to get away

youcancallmesierra Feb 2021

spores

choking on my emotions
covering the cough
don't think it's contagious
but just in case its not
trust me when i say
you don't want what i've got

youcancallmesierra Feb 2021

diagnosed with a lack of effort

what's one bad day
after a thousand others
blending together
like opposite colors
becoming muddy
and lackluster
no suprise there
pulling the covers
to block out the light
i'm sick of being awake
and of being alive
i've done it your way
and i still wanna die
i struggle to function
can't manage to do one thing right
and it's not that i gave up
or didn't try
i buried myself attempting
to be like you said
i repeated over and over
that it was all in my head
but that didn't make me stop
wishing i was dead
it just reminded me that i'm ******
turning in my bed
i'm stuck in this body
i'm me to a fault
trying to change
is all but a lost cause
if we could be great
wouldn't we all
maybe not but i'd think so
but that's not my call
i wish i was better
for whatever that means
perfect in your eyes
or the best version of me
i wish i was good
but i keep doing ****** things
i wish i was more
but lack in every means

youcancallmesierra Feb 2021

best kept secret

loved in the dark
light burns away the shadow
that allows us to be

we just weren't
made to last in a place
everyone could see

you're too ashamed
to be seen in public
with me

god forbid
they think you chose me
willingly

youcancallmesierra Feb 2021

it's finally over

end of disccussion
is this what you wanted
i tell you how it felt
but you swear that it wasn't
the way that i said
or how you remember
falling out of love
in the heart of december
and when push came to shove
you wouldn't care enough
to reach out for me
when i turned away from your touch
i never wanted space
i just wanted you to care
when i walked away
i hoped you'd try to find out where
but you were never gonna look
you were finally free
i cut the chains
and you unwound yourself from me
i knew you were lying when you tried to tell me
i wasn't hard to love or a burden to bear
who did you think you were fooling
what feelings did you really spare