tired of praying you'll remember me
and hoping you'll be who you said
hypnotized too long by how things were
woke up crying in my bed
i lost something through this
refuse to lose any more
i'm tired of being outside
waiting for you to open the door
tired of being cold
because you left me alone
sick of you reaching out
once i'm comfortable on my own

so i'm locking you out
like you did me
it's not right
but its necessary
it *****, doesn't it
but what else can i do
you're just now finding out
what its like being 'loved' by you

i could cry
but i don't wanna do that to myself
been hurt for a while
been without your help
so don't offer it now
you're too late to fix this issue
past the withdrawal
glad this time to miss you
i spent too much time waiting
feeling wrong for being insecure
you apologized then did it again
you're the one who's unsure
i tried and it killed me
if you wanted to you would
don't want me to leave
but won't do any good
won't meet me in the middle
won't even open the door
when i've closed the distance by myself
you won't be bothered anymore
you can trust me on that

asked if i'm okay
i wish i knew
the answer to that question
i'm just swimming in ocean
of nothing
but raw and devouring emotion

drowning in thought
i push against the tide
but it draws me in
against my will
my lack of sense of self
the weight that secures the ****

no anchor to latch onto
or home to run towards
drifting further away
floating out to sea
might be that last time
someone ever sees me

so i'll let the current **** me in
no use in fighting
myself
i'm too tired to make a point
it's easier to let go
and once again disappoint

they all want something from me
i'll never be someone anyone needs
you think you know what you want
you can really think you know someone
you really don't wanna be with me
i already know where this leads
i dont need anymore reasons to bleed
i'm fine with being lost at sea
you'll live without my company
you don't wanna be with me

i assure you