why is what i'm doing not enough
so much progress but haven't touched
a single dream i had
making myself feel bad

cause i did things
a lot for me
but i'm still so far
and it breaks my heart

how much harder must i fight
when there is no end in sight
if i could have one thing for sure
that's all i ask for

point out the mess
but don't offer to help
just what i'd expect
only concerned with yourself

can't even see
how you led to this tragedy
abandoned me
to blame for this savagery

see
i killed a dream tonight
try to tell myself it will be alright
saying this is how it had to be
convincing nobody

killed it with my bare hands
telling myself that it would understand
justifying what i had to do
knowing it was supposed to be me and you

your hands are clean
you walk away fine
my hearts a crime scene
bound to flatline

can't even see
how you led to this tragedy
abandoned me
to blame for this savagery

cause
i killed a dream tonight
tried to tell myself it would be alright
saying this is how it had to be
convincing nobody

killed it with my bare hands
telling myself that it would understand
justifying what i had to do
knowing it was supposed to be me and you

unlike me to leave people behind
or let dreams die
but there comes a time
when all you can say is goodbye
where all you can do is let go
and hope the other person knows
how much you cared even though
you're the one who chose to ghost
because i had to do better for me
focus on priorities
make choices that weren't easy
be the person i thought i'd be
and its not that we were doomed
there's so much potential for you
i just had to do what i needed to do
i wasn't happy and thats the truth
i wasn't growing how i promised to myself
you were becoming somebody else
the relationship was a drag on my mental health
it took forever to decide if i should even tell
you how i felt or do something about it
wasn't pleased when you rebounded
but i did leave you unaccounted
i just needed to be surrounded
by people who saw me for more than what i could give
and people who loved me when i was hard to forgive
you tried but you just never did
that's the kinda of person i see and need myself to be with

i woke up this morning
without a thought
and it was nice

not hating myself
or begging
to die

it shouldn't be
this hard to
stay alive

i woke up this morning
hopefully today
is fine

i'm sorry that i dont love myself
and that that keeps me from being truthful
i'm sorry i can't be vulnerable
and that when i crash its brutal
that i take you down with me
when i can't float any longer
you give me the benefit of the doubt
and i cant return that honor
i'm sorry that you have me
when i know you deserve much better
i'm sorry that because i'm like this
you can't help but feel tethered
i'm sorry you feel like you need to fix me
and save me from monsters i summoned myself
i'm sorry that i ****** you into
my own personal hell
i'm sorry i didn't let you go
when i knew i wasn't capable of being
the kind of person you deserve
not a patient you're committed to treating
**** i'm sorry
so sorry i dont know what to do
as much as i wanna let you in
i refuse to lean on you
because as much as you deserve
to know the truth
it'd be wrong to put it on you
so i'll try and make some room
to hold it in
and keep it down
i love you
but you shouldn't have to drown

i'm the one whose unhappy
does that warrant a change
am i being dramatic
or is there weight to what I say
genuinely asking because i
can't tell if i'm being hard to please
or if there's nothing wrong with what i asked for
and these are basic human needs
like who am i, please tell me
so i can act accordingly
if there's something wrong on my end
i'll fix it immediately
just help me please
because this hurts so bad
and i don't want you to know me
for just being sad
i dont want you to loathe me
for always holding back