youcancallmesierra

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

fixed on

they always say
don't chase
don't waste
your time on someone
who runs away
even if they make
you feel safe
gotta snap out
of this way
its not okay
i'm in pain

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

free time

you don't care enough to appease me
won't be fine until you need me
like i desperately need you
quite an unfortunate truth

it's not enough for you to see me
wanna be the best part of dreaming
but that's impossible for me to do
unless you want it too

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

kleenex

in your face
in your space
always got something to say

in my head
in my bed
ever lovers never friends

just wanna know
if you have any regrets
are you sick of me yet
i remember when you said
you never would
but i just wanna know
if i passed your stupid test
or are you repulsed by the mess
find it hard to believe
you aren't sick of me yet

on my mind
what a waste of time
days on days i would hopelessly pine

you made it safe
then you took that away
that's why its so hard to be okay

now that it's done
do you have any regrets
are you sick of me yet
i remember when you said
you never would
but i just need to know
if i passed your stupid test
or are you repulsed by the mess
find it hard to believe
you aren't sick of me yet
you really were the best

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

unsure of myself

didn't think
no i didnt
didn't think
you would

even then
i'm not angry
even then
i'm not so good

there's something burning
smoke making it hard to see
there's something hurting
pain making it hard to breathe

and oh if you could kiss it away
don't you believe it would be gone by now
every surface could be washed by the rain
and it still wouldn't rid us of the blood on the ground
if i could sleep this all away
i'd surrender consciousness no doubt
but when i'm forced to be awake
it's all the same regardless of how

hard i try and deeply i wish
for everything with us to be okay
but you don't care as much as i do
so i was always doomed to feel this way

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

sweetest dreams

wasn't trying to be dramatic
i just needed to get away
didn't wanna worry all of you
but i was itching for some kind of break
everywhere i turned
i felt like i was being reminded
of why i feel so unlovable
drowning in thoughts and too weak to fight them
i want to be there for you
i want to be okay
if i could i would
but i just wont be able to today
i wanna be who you thought i was
i wanna be kind and sweet and thoughtful
but i feel like an imposter
and how my insecurities bloom in my doubt feels so awful
my god do i wanna be happy
and do i wish you wanted me back
if i could sleep and wake up to world
where i was known for something other than being sad

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

validation

i want you to talk to me
but i don't wanna ask
the edges of my mouth itch to smile
but i'm terrified to laugh
all the nice things
seem just out of reach
how am i to know
if you really want me
unless you say so

youcancallmesierra Dec 2020

pulling cords

why would i want to care
when you parade that you don't
you say i should calm down
but you just don't know
what it like to be the last one
trying to make it work
how it feels to be one cares more
and why that even hurts
you tell me to be happy
that there's no reason to change
but if i walked out of your life
you would be okay

and on this unfortunate day
i can't say the same