don't know why i woke up today
and walked my happy little *** here
dragging myself through the motions
but accomplishing nothing great
i'm no where near
where i want to be or dream to go
i'm stuck in this awful place
where i stagnate
no chance to grow
just the same old person
i was two years ago
want to be something different
but change is too scary
so i stick to what i know
but i'm not happy
with the life that i lead
disgusted by my choices
and underwhelmed with
everyone's perception of me

said you'd punch whoever hurt me
said tell you the name
but how do i tell you
you're the one who made me feel this way?

said you'd **** who ever called me names
said to just let it out
but how do i tell you
i'm the one who keeps causing myself pain?

said you'd find them and beat them
said you'd defend me till death
but how do i tell you
that i don't trust you enough to respect what i want?

i hope it feels good
to see me in pain
otherwise you would have
would have to be insane
to hurt someone
that loves you more than themselves
you're the reason i'm drowning
that's why i didn't ask for help

i hope it feels good
choosing her over me
what are the perks
they must be amazing
because you haven't considered me
no, not once
when will the day come
that i matter to someone

i hope it feels good
to have her presence like a shadow
in every part of your life, always with you
the darkness enhances your glow
even if i know you
do not care about how i feel
these emotions take over
and the hatred becomes more real

words words words
are you still talking
i got bored half an hour ago
and i missed everything you said

i wanna say sorry
but it isn't my fault
you were rambling on and on
so i fell asleep instead

i used to apologize
for being in your presence

as if i was burden
by just being seen

now i accept
that you'll look at me the same

no matter how i change
i can't make you happy

i am a hypocrite
who hates hypocrites

the only reason i dare speak
on you and your choices
is because i've acknowledged how ****** up i am
and i guess that makes me even worse
because i know
and should have the ability to change
but i don't

i am a hypocrite
who hates hypocrites
telling you to love yourself
while i punish myself for existing