I sat in my truck with the ac on and the radio off
I was humming and flashing back and forward in time, looking for somewhere to fit
When I didn't find one, I opened my eyes to the sunset and the building I work in
I need to go home
But there's an on ramp to the highway just down the road
Far away felt so much closer than home did
I wonder how long I'll force myself to stay if I don't just hold onto the acceleration
I wonder how many times I'll paint mars before I lose my mind and burn the papers
"She's dreaming of outer spaces but she's studying to be an accountant"
She's got the brains for it, too
She could build her own rocketship and take off tomorrow
Texas is a thirty six hour drive away that I have typed into my gps more times than I would like to admit before turning it off
Just to see what traffic's like
The radio that isn't on is like flies in my ear
All of the songs about leaving
Just one right turn and I would never see this place again
But I've got to go to bed, I've got work tomorrow

I guess
We all need to grow
A little
To
Appreciate
Being young

I
haven't
changed
much,
thankfully.

She looked dangerous,
Standing there smiling over her shoulder
She had a word to herself
A word that ruined lives
Broke worlds, tore our castle down
But it could have been worth it
Sickeningly beautiful
I couldn't find it anywhere else
Only in her and her english
Relentless, she pursued this fantasy
She was getting herself killed but fireworks are stunning
I was stunned and stuck in my place
She was driving too fast and leaving without me
Just her smile left to haunt me from the mirrors of her car
Reckless.

It is when I intently idly
Walk in the woods,
By the stream,
On the grass,
Over high mountains,
That I find a peaceful place.

A place where I look down at
Sunflowers, rising
Butterfly wings, fallen
Earthworms, crawling in
The soil.

The soil.

The soil I plant my feet in,
A part of a huge whole.
It greets me heartily.
This soil of my soul.