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Jun 2021 · 595
anesthesia
fallacies Jun 2021
i have since then lost the ability to feel love
ever since i failed to make you feel that i did
fallacies Apr 2021
had i known that we'd be strangers again
i would have called you by your name
more often than i had when we were still together

and to compensate for what i haven't done for so long
i recite your name like they are words from my favorite song
Jan 2021 · 277
never the same soul twice
fallacies Jan 2021
as the void in my soul
pulls me towards its center
with both hands tied together,
i can't seem to remember the last time i held yours
and it seems that forever has passed by
no— it's been an eternity
since mine last held grasp of your soul
and had conversations with the billions of pieces
that make it up—
tiny bits of your identity
i once all knew

now?
i don't seem to know whether they're still part of you—
or has your soul been shattered too much
that more pieces have made their presence
making up the very essence of you
that mine lost the opportunity to touch

what i do know
every piece that make up your soul
is part of a perfectly-fitted-never-ending puzzle—
an ever-evolving beautiful masterpiece
no one could ever take apart
Jan 2021 · 642
every night before i sleep
fallacies Jan 2021
almost three years since then
and a year since the other
yet, i still cannot forgive myself
and i still think about you
over and over
Jan 2021 · 733
• •
fallacies Jan 2021
if your eyes look at me
like i'm some stranger
would it be possible that we
start everything over?
fallacies Jan 2021
i thought the days will start to get warmer
despite the cold breeze and the cold frozen sugar
melting in the warmth of our tongues-

they just got colder as soon as we're done
Jan 2021 · 270
oh well
fallacies Jan 2021
just when i thought that my wells have dried up- buckets fill as i pull them back up
fallacies Jan 2021
whenever i try to sleep past midnight
i always get a call that would keep me up

it's from sadness

asking if i am okay
i'll tell how it went- the rest of my day
and sadness would listen,
sadness would stay

but i usually keep our conversation short
not any more than an hour or past two,
because if it kept going,
and the more time passes by
the more time for regret to arrive
and would want to talk to me too
Jan 2021 · 119
so i wake up to the truth
fallacies Jan 2021
i like to believe that i rarely think of you
but my dreams always prove me otherwise
Dec 2020 · 96
once in a blue moon
fallacies Dec 2020
underneath the borrowed light of borrowed time
wide awake in a sleeping town
of what used to be a garden of words;

from the silence we made sentences
of the things we promised to never forget

outstretched in the horizon,
an empty sight,
an empty site,
an empty skeleton we once considered our home–

not the ones we grew up in,

but the one we grew up in

filled with all the half-hearted dreams
we screamed silently to the top of our lungs,
so as to not disturb the sleeping sun
so as to not be heard by the eavesdropping wind,

because somehow we always knew-
by the moment the sun wakes up to reclaim its lent light and time
by the moment the wind blows all the secrets it couldn't keep,
from what used to be vibrant yellow petals-
turned to seeds of white and gray,
our dandelion dreams shall be carried away

and so do our forgotten promises
Jul 2020 · 96
the day i'll be set free
fallacies Jul 2020
i long for the day i'd grasp on the idea that not being able to say your name nor think of you, doesn't mean that i've forgotten you- but learned to live with the thought that i haven't
Jun 2020 · 96
001
fallacies Jun 2020
001
sadness lurks on me in the shadows just like how a predator stalks its prey
waiting for an opportune moment- a momentary lapse of judgement
or the moment ignorance gives bliss, that everything is- and will be alright
but everything is not alright
it never was, it never is, and following that same logic- maybe it never will

because the moment a predator decides to stalk its prey
is the very same moment a gruesome fate has been decided on behalf of the latter-
and just like a helpless little prey,
when the predator comes- all i can do is run

but for how much longer can i run, before the sadness consumes me?
Apr 2020 · 96
and the cycle goes
fallacies Apr 2020
i keep dreading the night because i always wonder how long it will take me to shake off every thought of you- that's how long it usually takes before i can fall asleep
Mar 2020 · 101
what do you mean?
fallacies Mar 2020
if you would ask me.
what is the meaning
of all the words that,
i have been offering

i would tell you,
they are everything

i write to find meaning
i write to give meaning
i write so i could mean something
at times when i feel like nothing

and the thing is,
i'll keep offering words to you
because you mean so much to me

and that is my meaning,
so, i would never stop writing
Feb 2020 · 94
sea of faces
fallacies Feb 2020
i hate that in a crowd of people, i frantically look for your familiar face
no matter how small the probability of that happening is

but i would still love to see it
fallacies Jan 2020
i have this urge to remove my glasses
when i walk around campus
just so that, if ever you were somewhere near
i would not see you
because even just the thought of you
is enough to make me cry,
what more if i saw you there, clear as day?
i think that's when my internal clouds would turn gray
and my eyes would rain their woes away
fallacies Jan 2020
i got used to never letting myself breathe- i mean, what's the point when everyone around wants to suffocate you?
Jan 2020 · 89
better there than here
fallacies Jan 2020
if loving you is a sin, then send me straight to hell
Jan 2020 · 88
i hope not
fallacies Jan 2020
have you lost your words?
Jan 2020 · 82
........
fallacies Jan 2020
if you are looking for a way for me to give up and hate you, i am sorry to disappoint you,
but i am already blinded by the many reasons to love you
Dec 2019 · 106
no compass can save me
fallacies Dec 2019
i used to think that i was good with directions-
but why am i lost and can't find my place in you
Dec 2019 · 361
i'll always be
fallacies Dec 2019
please understand that i text you, not to annoy you; i only want you to know that i'm still here,

even if you make it feel like i am not
fallacies Dec 2019
you saw every gesture of love i had in me as nothing more than friendly ones
Dec 2019 · 257
and maybe it is
fallacies Dec 2019
i will love you as if it is the only thing i know how to do best
Dec 2019 · 115
looking for my place
fallacies Dec 2019
i'm sorry if i always seem too eager to see you
or if i always seem too happy to be near you
or if i always present myself to do things for you

it's just that now that i am no longer what i used to be to you
i never want to waste what could be the last moment i'd share with you,
before i'd completely be just another person you once knew

but even before and after then,
i still want you to feel that i love you, and i'd still do anything for you-
because i do.
Dec 2019 · 720
tayo (us)
fallacies Dec 2019
kinuha mo ang aking mga kamay- tinitigan mo ako
at sinabi mo, 'halika, lumayo tayo dito,' kaya tayo'y nagtungo
sa lugar na walang sakit at nakapanlulumong,
mga problema na ating dinaranas dati;
at nuon ding panahon na iyon,
nahanap natin ang tunay na kasiyahan
sa piling ng isa't isa, walang kamalayan
sa ibang tao sa paligid, pagkat magkasama na tayo;
wala nang problema na maaaring magdala ng bagyo

masaya na tayo, sa simpleng mga bagay na mayroon tayo
mga bagay na hindi man bago,
hindi man sapat para masabing masaya, pero alam ko,
ramdam ko, na masaya na tayo

pero
teka, ano ito?
Teka, bakit nawawala na
ang lahat ng nasa paligid natin
TEKA LANG! -sambit ng mga labi ko
yun na ang huling nasabi ko sayo

akala ko, masaya na tayo
sa mga simpleng bagay na  mayroon tayo,
mga bagay na hindi man bago
ngunit ngayon, bumalik na ang simple sa kumplikado
hinahanap ngayon ang saya sa salitang 'tayo'

pero nagising ako;
at kahit anong pilit na ipikit muli ang aking mga mata
at subukang mahimbing sa kaisipan na mayroong ikaw at ako
huli na ang lahat, di ko na maibalik ang panandaliang suyo
ng minsang nanaginip ako na mayroong tayo
(rough english translation)

you took both my hands- you looked at me
and said, 'let us go, far away from here,' and so we did;
to a place where pain would never find us,
where no problem would ever exist like the ones we had before;
and at that moment
we found true happiness
in the comfort of each other's arms,
oblivious to the people around us, for we are now together
no more problems that would bring us storms

we were happy and content, with the simple things
that we have, things that may not be new; things that
may not be enough to consider ourselves happy, but i know
for i feel, that together- we are happy

but
wait, what is this?
why can't i make up a single detail from your face
Wait, why is everything fading
'WAIT!-'
that was the last thing that i have told you

i thought that we were already happy and content,
with the simple things that we have, things that may not be new;
but now everything was the same as before,
what was simple became complicated again
desperately looking for the happiness in the word 'us'

but i woke up
and no matter how hard i try to close my eyes, and
try to fall asleep with the thought of me and you
it was too late, i could never bring back the temporary comfort
of that one time that i had a dream that there was an us
fallacies Dec 2019
i know every inch and detail of your body
i know every single piece that makes up your soul
i know every thing that makes your heart beat fast or slow
i know every thought that keeps you awake at night
i know every start and every end to any of your stories
i know every joy, sadness, and pain hiding behind your sight


and you just know my name
Dec 2019 · 229
...right?
fallacies Dec 2019
i gave you company
i gave you things you never even knew you wanted
but you still accepted them as if you knew that i would have given you anything if it meant the world to you;

and you were right

i gave you my company
i gave you comfort through every moment life has mistreated you
away from all the unnecessary pain, stress, and heartbreaks

and i was alright

or so i thought...

i gave you company and i gave you things you never even knew you wanted
i gave you comfort through every moment life has mistreated you

i gave you company and comfort through the cold harsh night

but as soon as the first sight of light in the morning embraced your face
the moment you opened your eyes...

i ceased to exist to you,
as if i was a dream you had last night
but soon forgot in the morning...
Nov 2019 · 117
honestly i-
fallacies Nov 2019
i don't want to love anyone else anymore, but you
Nov 2019 · 193
am i[n]visible?
fallacies Nov 2019
: i hope to be seen even when i'm not of use to anyone; more than when i am of use to them
fallacies Nov 2019
i hate listening to the songs we used to sing,
songs that engraved a memory of you in my mind

but in the end, i'd still end up listening to them
because that's the closest you'll ever be,
now that you are not here with me;

the closest memory that i'll have of you.
Nov 2019 · 128
the decisions we make
fallacies Nov 2019
do you know how i'm sure i love you?
because i chose you- every single day

even if i am not your choice, anymore
the first two lines are not my own words,  i really felt and relate to the message they wanted to convey- but i added a little twist of my own reality in the last line which was also pointed out by a friend
Nov 2019 · 365
you know why it's hard?
fallacies Nov 2019
it's because i love you
fallacies Oct 2019
through the numbing pain -
i still feel you, everyday
Oct 2019 · 111
double-edged
fallacies Oct 2019
everyday i am reminded of the many reasons why i love you

yet, everyday i am struggling to find an answer to the question- why did i even do you wrong?

still, i'd love you no matter what
fallacies Oct 2019
i've exhausted all the words i know
yet i still have a lot of things
that i want to tell you

but it's been so hard
not having to talk to you-
like how we used to
Oct 2019 · 18.3k
they see me as a stranger
fallacies Oct 2019
your eyes still look familiar
but the looks they give me now are foreign
fallacies Oct 2019
i'd do anything for you, use me as you will-
i only wished i had the same will to use myself, still
Oct 2019 · 233
it always does
fallacies Oct 2019
no matter what i do
no matter what i try to feel
i legitimately keep coming back to you
Sep 2019 · 696
downpour
fallacies Sep 2019
why is it that you are my calm and my storm at the same time?
Sep 2019 · 95
that feeling again
fallacies Sep 2019
my body seemed to have forgotten how to cry
it knows the feeling of wanting to do so
but somehow it doesn't remember how tears worked
Sep 2019 · 119
i'll go even farther
fallacies Sep 2019
i made it this far— loving you;
what's that point of giving it up?
Sep 2019 · 126
i want to stay, should i?
fallacies Sep 2019
how do you walk away from something that's been a part of you for so long?

or do you even walk away at all?
Sep 2019 · 125
i don't know anymore
fallacies Sep 2019
i really wish i hated you right now
so that moving on wouldn't be so hard
but the thing is i can't;
i think i never will

maybe it's one of the consequences
of loving you so much
that i couldn't even remember who i was
without you
Sep 2019 · 345
i'm sorry,
fallacies Sep 2019
for making you believe in forever
when i didn't even know what it meant.
Sep 2019 · 238
<
fallacies Sep 2019
<
i don't want to settle for less
and i know you don't want to, too
but i guess what you meant
by not settling for less
is that i was not more than
what you expected me to
Sep 2019 · 164
and made life worth living
fallacies Sep 2019
you were the certain uncertainty my heart needed-- to know that it was living

loving you was the most certain uncertainty it did-- that made it feel alive
Sep 2019 · 141
to a certain chaos,
Sep 2019 · 673
i just want to love you
fallacies Sep 2019
so let me love you until the time you'll feel the same too
and even after then, I'll love you--
through and through
Aug 2019 · 151
let me love you 'til then
fallacies Aug 2019
don't give up, for i won't
and when i say you're worth it,
you're worth it
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