In a dark and distant galaxy-
Upon a new world I seek-
You're healthy and smiling-
because, because, because, because
there is nothing as romantic
as dying on your kitchen floor-
There is nothing romantic
about waiting for you
to come home
from war.

Daughter, daughter
on the wall-
Why'd you let your picture fall?
Killing yourself for instant
pseudo-safety-
Killing yourself for nothing, maybe-
But the gun is still pretend enough
to put into your mouth and bluff
And say that no one can
save you now-
because, because, because, because:

You are your own lover
and you are your own daughter.
And you're left in hot water
but you stay in to try to forget
that you're cold inside.
And you drown yourself
so you can hide.

Xeroxed vitals on paperplanes
Crashing into window panes
Broken-heart blisters and voyeuristic veins
Appear and create transparent glass stains
Blue-Green grass on the other side
Laying there, our fathers died
Dreams and streams of alcohol
Run from their mouths with no control.
Shaking, breaking, no where to decompose
Skin peeling off of worn down toes.
Tell me where their love goes
Tell me where their love goes
Everything turned into gun-shy eyes
Blue-lipped Sunday surprise
Bodies breaking into waiting
This is nothing but carbon dating
Bottles breaking of ***** that's so clear
That I won't see until they're near
God and Jesus in picture frames
Suburban families with jungle brains
Broken homes and replacement Brad's
401 k's and missing ads
Finding our homes that aren't so black and white
Let us sleep in our dreams tonight
Validation through our existence
Is dead but still our resistance

The tree of life grows in a graveyard-
With my hands around the air,
I imagine you over there-
Sitting under the branches,
inhaling abuse
and
exhaling cursive.

i love you this morning
it's a come home safe morning
fog on the road
& no seatbelt kind of morning
the sun is over easy
& nothing's on fire
there's punctuation
where i don't want it
and extra love
in the glovebox of my car
been thinking about being honest
how these poems are all me
but they tell the story
how someone else
might believe it happened
within reasonable doubt
no copy & pasted love letters
no 'who ever says hello first gets my attention for the day'
try a little tenderness
in my ears and today
there are instruments
in the back of my head
i think you love me
because i'm sunburned
felt it in a 'come hell or high water' kinda way, that 'touched from far away' kinda way that 'if i touch this piano one more time one of us is going to break' kinda way
and i drove over 17 bridges yesterday and today i'll do it again
and i think nobody gets
what that means except maybe you
i just tell them i love the scenery
that somebody must've made
these trees blush just for me
you know how i love
to change the subject
i bet they'd love the view
i bet you would too
and all these metaphors
for other things are beside the point
this is a metaphor
for why i don't wear my seatbelt
a metaphor for why whiskey
knows me better than you
could ever try to
all the buildings seemed to sag yesterday and all the stars
are doing that cliche thing
where they talk
quiet jet noise
& some lumbering giant
made everything shake
not those hand metaphors
not another one of those
& keep the sea to yourself
i think it was a train
it's sound hugged the embankment
for a moment
and then trailed off into nowhere
and that's kind of like me
how there's a town called 'rescue'
close to my home &
it's no coincidence
that i've never been there

The words I can't help but repeat
makes every line feel so incomplete.
The bones under alabaster skin shake.
She whispers,
"Be calm, this is no time to quake."

I don't know what I did
to bring myself to this place.
They ask me how I feel
and I say, "I need some space."

To you that you can't recall,
to love her is to love most of all.
I try to rearrange how I feel
and I allow you to take the wheel.

You can cause a wreck-
I said, "You can cause a wreck."
And I promise to pull you from the debris
because that's what you did for me.

Chestnu-uh-uh-uh-ut.
Chestnu-uh-uh-uh-ut.

I don't know what I did
to bring myself to this place.
They ask how I feel
and I say, "I need some space."

To put myself together
in puzzle pieces, forever.
To try to solve a ******
when the victim is the killer.

Chestnu-uh-uh-uh-ut.
Chestnu-uh-uh-uh-ut.

The words I can't help but repeat
make me feel so incomplete.
I let the words escape
and I promise myself I won't break.

They ask me what is wrong.
I say, "Everything about this song."
I feel so helpless and weak,
I couldn't sing this, let alone speak.

The rhyme scheme isn't diverse.
I say, "Take a look at this verse.
And I'm not sure if it has a bridge,
or that anyone knows I'm at Chestnut Ridge."

Chestnu-uh-uh-uh-ut.
Chestnu-uh-uh-uh-ut.

The words I can't help but repeat,
make me feel so broken down.
Alabaster bones shake.
She whispers,
"Please don't stop looking now."

Monday morning vultures at your feet
Carelessly as you sleep
Sentimental weeping not without a blind headache
I imagine that you'd run away

I was carried to a burning landscape by the arms of trees
I dug my hands into the soil and pulled out the spine of the terrain
I love with the curiosity of acidic rain
And the fire that burns inside burns through the smother of pain

Floating onto too much too soon, to be without an impending doom,
and to shame my feelings to a newly familiar tune,
brings what was happiness
and transforms it into sitting alone in a dark room
muttering, "I was happy, I was carried into a heart by the arms of trees."

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every breath I take feels like it's way too much
Since you're counting down from three
I trust that you'll stay with me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
I'd cut myself if I knew how to bleed
Just because I'm on morphine
doesn't mean my heart is as numb as me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every step I take feels like it's way too far
If you want to hold my hand
as I go then I'll understand

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying  
It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

Being in this class
reminds me
of how unhappy
I am.
It reminds me
of all the dreams
and goals that
I want to accomplish.
The freedom
that I linger for
in my life.
The people that
I want to meet
and all the knowledge
that I want to
acquire before
I reach weakening
bones and white hair.

I want to live.