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Jul 2019 · 113
hello summer
grey Jul 2019
it's summer and i am awake
forced to live with myself
i often think to just how simple it would be
to curve the metal across
or drape silk around my neck
winter asks no questions
just wraps its arms around and lulls me away
summer torments me
mocks me with every waking moment
spits in my eye as i'm forced to breathe
it won't leave a visible mark
i'm too old for that now
i'm a coward at heart
and that summer knows
Jul 2019 · 82
spoiled milk
grey Jul 2019
if i cared enough
about you
or the way you think about me
perhaps i'd choose a better
synonym
for our love
but you don't deserve that
and neither do i
Jul 2019 · 1.1k
loneliness
grey Jul 2019
i don't miss you
let me establish this
the second guessing
the guilt
your overwhelming presence
i know i'm better off
it will never be you i miss
just the company
Jul 2019 · 113
bubbles
grey Jul 2019
effervescent in winter
yet drawled in summer
i despise the way you crawl over my mind
scratching each surface
this position could have landed to anyone
anyone but you
well it's half two and im crying, we really out here living the tortured artist lifestyle
grey Jul 2019
i will whisper you stories of the sea
i will comb through your hair and with each stroke tell you
just how much you mean to me
i will wipe away each and every tear and blue
i will kiss you goodnight and check on you every single day
just to check your feeling alright

i will never belittle or embarrass or degrade you
i will never flaunt you
instead i will encourage and respect you
i will love you so much and you won't even know it
and that will be okay
Jul 2019 · 110
Untitled
grey Jul 2019
it's easy i suppose
to ignore the neon pills
to look past the crumpled notes
to forget the stained face
but it wasn't easy i suppose
to ignore the teachers qualms
to look past the overnight stay
to forget the growing grudge

my life still hangs by a thread
but its easy i suppose
suicide wasn't something i attempted in order to hurt you, it was an escape. However, it hurt me that you saw all the warning signs, confronted me and STILL denied me help. STILL pretended it didn't happen. It took school intervention in order for you to even consider this was real, and even then you did it so you didn't appear as a bad parent. but go off i guess
Jul 2019 · 97
i hope you miss me
grey Jul 2019
i find it hard to love
the girl in the mirror
grotesque in every form
not from my iris
but from yours
your own child
agape spun of lies
raised out of spite
strangers by blood
words said with a smile
leaving a bitter taste
i've hated my body for as long as i can remember, and it would be so easy for me to blame it on the media, when the reality is this stems from my mother. A woman who always has something to say about how i look. Every subconscious flaw comes from her, whether it be my teeth or my weight. i don't think she realizes how much i resent her
grey Jun 2019
where was i?
i was fifteen and too old to be naive
too young to lose hope
too young to vote
too young to do anything except beg my parents for change
plead to the masses
go on a strike
it fell upon deaf ears and we left

where was i?
i was fourteen and british
and i still remember the sick feeling
the taste i couldn't wash away
the candle starts to dimmer
i still see my history teachers sullen face
as he taught us about a culture we're doomed to repeat
the world stood still and he got into power

where am i?
im seventeen and watching it happen again
another fool into power
my future being washed away
the candle has blown out
the culture from the west infecting us again
i hold my breath and watch silently

where am i?
im seventeen and forgetting
forgetting the humming fuzzes
struggling to breathe
i watch it cut down and set alight
another species lost again
my voice suffocated by silence
Jun 2019 · 57
Untitled
grey Jun 2019
in the morning i will walk away
pack away the wire and felt
chuckle awkwardly about silly things
pretend to have forgotten

but right now i am in your arms
my head is swirling
a kaleidoscope is forming around me
you keep me steady and focus my vision
i am overwhelmed and intoxicated
by you alone

and in the morning I'll forget
Jun 2019 · 71
wick
grey Jun 2019
you cradle me
causing me to ****
and twist in front of you
you melt away in order for me to flourish
its all for you
i do this all for you
all things aside you're burning me
this was written about my old best friend who used to manipulate me and say she was the best person for me, and when we stopped being friends she told me no one would ever love me again. Taking a step back i can now see how unnecessary and hurtful that friendship was. On a lighter side this is my first poem not about Her which is itself a blessing
Jun 2019 · 116
a lesson learned
grey Jun 2019
I crave the mediocrity
as a scorned woman tainted by spoils
seeking the excitement with water has left
exhaustion and a lesson learned
I miss it sometimes
such as lily misses the sun
nurtured and shrived
May 2019 · 274
the allotment
grey May 2019
I am both a sadist and a *******
When it comes to myself

The brown-eyed boy, a beauty
A distraction
It develops and flourishes
I knock it down

The girl who sings, a star
A nuisance
The roots intertwine
I set the fire

At last
The red-haired girl, my past
My love
The seed begins to bloom
I salt the earth

— The End —