I cried for days not knowing why sometimes.
I had to fake a smile for weeks.
I had to pretend I was fine for months.
And I had to live for years.

And guess what I'm still here.
Full stronger than ever.
Pshhh I guess I made it.

The cuts on my arms.
The ideas of suicide.
The feeling of being alone.
The fear I had to carry.
The anger I had to hide.
It was all hard but I guess I'm strong.
Cause guess what I made it.

Betrayed by the people who claimed to love you.
Abandoned by people who promised to always be there.
Lied to by people who told you to trust them,and u did.
Heartbroken by people who were supposed to love you.
Pshh all that but I still made it.

Yeah I never thought I would.
No ,
I didn't
Even  it I never imagined coming out so strong.
I now know more.
I now know how to really fight.
And I know between
Love and hate
Happiness and anger
Real and fake
I thought I did but I didn't but because of my experience I learned along the hard road....

Hey guess what I made it!!!

I look in the mirror sometimes and I'm scared I look in my eyes and I become scared so much hate.
I'm like a ticking bom waiting to blow out and every one will realise she time was moving but it will be too late.
Everyone is going to see she was crying everyday.
Everyone is going to see that pain is all she has been carrying all the way.

I have been sick the whole not really sick but emotionally sick mentally and physically.
Crying everyday sleeping every minute depressed the whole time sitting lonely.
I love the darkness.
When I'm the I have happiness.
I know its weird but its been a place I can be.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be fine.
I look at happy people and go like is that real I just don't believe in it.
Dissapointments
Heartbreaks
Betrayal
Lies
Is all I ever got from people.
How do I move on ?
How do I go futher ?
I don't think I will.
I feel a thousand miles from happiness.

I sometimes wanna just open my heart love someone but I can't.
I once gave someone that information of how I felt about them I was left on the cold hard ground.
I'm just lost feeling like its never going to get better.
Tears day after day.
Fake smiles day after day.
Anger is all I carry day after day

There is just this big hole in my soul that seems to get bigger everyday.
And no mater how much I cry.
No mater how much I listen to sad music.
No mater how much I cut myself.
No mater how much I sleep.
It doesn't seem to get filled.

I laugh sometimes but during the laugh I start to cry because I know I'm laughing at my own life its one big joke.
Its a dance that walks a song that speaks.
How does one live a life she hates.
I look at my self in the miRror and say I'm goin be fine but I can see through my eyes I dnt evn mean it.
I just feel a thousand miles from happiness

I'm that girl that is afraid to fall inlove cause she has been hurt.
I'm that girl who can't trust anyone cause she has been dissapointed.
I'm that girl that once shared my weaknesess with someone and the they used it against me.

I'm that girl that smiles while she is hurting inside.
I'm that girl that hates to be happy.
I'm that girl who always tries to stand out but can't.
I'm that girl that stays in the dark when the sky is painted blue.
I'm that girl that thinks of ways to end her life.
I'm that girl crying everyday.
I'm that girl who wonders if she is ever goin to have peace.

Yah I'm that girl sitting next to you...

When I walk in the street I feel like I always have to hold my breath as I pass people.
When I'm in a crowded place I litrally freak out because I always feel like around people something bad happens to me.
Am I weird ??
I look at people sometimes and I'm like how the hell do they get it to always be this happy.
I look at relationships sometimes and I'm like how the **** can u be so inlove with someone and get along.
I look at friends and I'm like they trust each other??
Am I weird?
I sometimes stare at the mirror and then start to cry when I think.
I want something so bad but when its here I don't want it anymore.
Am I weird ?
I'm scared to get attached to someone.
Am I weird?
I don't really think I'm weird or anything I just think I have been dissapointed too much...

My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop

Shhhhh keep quiet I'm trying to think.
Get out of here I'm trying to be nice.
Shut up I'm trying to hold on.
My demons can't drown they know how to swim.
And no mater how much I try getting rid of them they don't go.
It all started with a heartbreak betrayal.
It started with little tears a bit of anger and paranoia.
It grew bigger I ignored and know its destroying me.
I'm losing my mind because of these demons.
I seem to cry every chance I get but they don't drown they just swim around everything gets more complicated.

My demons tell me to hate so much they give me all this bitterness.
I can't look at my wrist because of the scars I have.
Caused by me can't stand the girl I see when I look in the mirror.
Hating on everyone who loves me.
My demons don't trust no body.
Mt demons are horrible I hate them I try to do everything to chase them but its hard.
I Can't drown my demons they know how to swim