Do you remember that night?
This was moment I loved you.
I was so deeply terrified;
I cried in relief as I burrowed my face in your embrace;
So silly of me,
All that fear in being left alone for the first time.
You probably never knew.

I'm always taken by your memory
And we're long and over,
The people we were no longer exist.

I am in love with a kind man
Who is my world.

And you are a friend to me,
No longer the shining knight
But a sentimental bestie
Too far away to talk often.

But sometimes I dream about you;
Back when you were the safest place I knew

It takes me to a forgotten sanctuary
You put deep in my heart
I go there and I feel again.
I go there and I'm free.
I'm reborn a newer self.

And now I know why all the famous lyricists
Lament the great mystique of young love
For I find my former self anew
In the memory of you.
And though words fail to convey;
I am forever grateful.

Let's weave a web of Grace,
Where intuition sings to feeling;
Here
Compassion finds sanctuary.
Power hides in cunning,
And beauty is a front
Disguising a strength
Much deeper than eyes can see.

Let's braid an unbreakable thread,
Long and subtle let it run through the world;
Ready?
We'll capture understanding
And showcase it for the world to see.

I am part of you, I run with you,
Dear sister.
I will not waver by your side,
Nor will

I think deep down you know.
You drink me down
Like tequila shots
And get drunk on my chemistry.

Darling,
I can't love you.
I'll pretend.
I'll make art with my words,
My body will be your sanctuary.
When the world hurts you,
I'll kiss every cut and bruise
Until they become beautiful scars.
In my arms
I'll make you king.

But I wear your adoration
As a blanket
To smother my fire for another.  
It never goes out.
You make the flame bearable,
A comfortable warmth,
Not raging destruction.
You make it possible to love him.

Do you feel used?
You are.

I'm poison.
I'll swim through your veins,
I'll bind with every inch of you
And alter your perceptions.
Maybe you'll see things,
Maybe you'll see yourself the way I would see you
If only I could.

I'll destroy you.
And still you inhale my smoke and guns.
The hangover will hit,
Things will be worse,
Because I wanted to help,
And it only let me sink deeper
Into your skin.
I'm deceptive like that.

I can't say I'm sorry.
It'd be an apology
From a parasite.
To survive
I act as medicine
While I sign your death.
I care about you,
Only to sustain
So I can keep consuming.

And only when I'm cashed,
Will my ashes whisper,
I'm poison.

Our lips are so in love
Even our words intertwining
Sign betrayal
Well before our mouths touch.
So come kiss me.
It'd be like talking
But more honest.

I love you.**
Tonight I wrote that
So I could begin to understand why.
But it's like the name God.
The word can't explain something so immense it encompasses the universe.
And neither can I.

What is my faith?
Because I know it's in you.
It's in God too.
I've always trusted it,
I believed.
No doubt.
But now you have some of it.
You'll be mine again.
I know it.
Experience, logic, rules say no.
You said no.
But we're not done.
I'm sure.
...And not.
Is the only reason I'm so secure
That I've never been challenged?
Will God go away
When you do?
My heart knows you'll be mine again.
My head isn't so sure.
Who to trust?
Time.
Patience.
Maybe one day I'll know.