I knew it was time to say goodbye
So I did
We kissed one last bittersweet kiss
The sun set
I love you, so I'm letting go
Yet it hurts
To see you moving on, being okay
I'm still hurting
I know it's incredibly selfish to feel
But I do
In all my humanness and vulnerability
To let go
I'm ripping the other half of me off
It's hell
I pray it gets better and that someday
It's okay

You have touched every piece of my life
I smell you on my sheets, my clothes
Your face plastered on my walls
You've stolen my sleep and dreams
There's no escaping you
Everything reminds me
You, you, you
I wish I could breathe for a second
I wish I could forget for a moment
The pain is suffocating
I feel like an addict in rehab
but I feel no rehabilitation
Only pain resurfacing
Over and over and over
I wish I could scrub myself clean of you
You're deep in my bones
You've grasped my heart beat
You're snuggled up into my soul
Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere
I don't know what's heavier
Your place in my memory
Or your absence

I hope my tears water the sadness planted in my heart, so someday flowers grow again

When 12am knocks, I answer
There is no sleep
Only constant reminders
There are no doors to hide behind
The nighttime brings silence
Silence lets a loud mind roar
To the darkest corners
Only there's no where to hide
No distractions
It hits me like a wall
Insurmountable
When 12am calls, I answer

What's your darkest demon
or deepest secret?
Who would forgive you?
Who would love you nonetheless?
Try finding a friend who you can ignore
for days, months on end
that will pick right back up with you
If you can't think of one I can tell you one
One who loves
One who forgives
You can meet Him anytime
Just bow your head
and hit your knees
He'll meet you right there

How can I make a change in this world
if I have not yet seen it?
How can I see the change that needs to be made in this world if I have not yet traveled it?