my lover is the pinnacle of my pride
my lover hails the oceans and
directs the breeze
my lover does not hesitate to conjure seasons
one after the other
my lover does not discourage my uncontrollable awe
instead, my lover rips open my carefully contained cages
and sets free my inner workings
my lover makes the sun blush a bright rufescent hue
every morning
and the moon glow with joy
at the sight of my lover's resting eyes
my lover tips my earth over on each side
my lover makes my world turn so much so that i make sure everyone else can feel it too

i want to hold you through one winter,
let you hibernate in my warmth,
i want to cover your body through two autumns,
engulf you with my branched out arms as if the falling leaves would scar your skin,
i want to chase you through three summers, and catch you every single time,
because you could never bear to be away from my radiance for too long,
i want to open my eyes with you through four springs,
watch as the daffodils bloom beneath your lashes,
and watch as the irises start to glow their magnificent coloured hue,
feeling pride’s synchronised bloom behind my chest because i know that yours are everlastingly more magnificent,
and i want to do it all again from winter.

i’m starting to wonder if it was ever real
the way you stared at me, enraptured by my average eyes and mundane smile
the way you touched me, gentle yet callous in a way that covered the pain
the way you called out to me, as if my name was the last drop of water and you were searching for an oasis

was it ever real?

it was real when we sat in the back corner of Mosa,
i could feel it then, i know i could

you could too
could you?

it was real when i unravelled you with the tips of my fingers, the graze of my mouth - you were mine
it was real in that moment
because you gave yourself to me
and in that moment you made your name mine

the sky has never looked darker, even though i am absolutely sure that the sun was gleaming just yesterday
but the sky has never looked darker

and i’m starting to wonder if the light was ever real either

fleeting moments disappear
along with the cowering darkness of air
the light stings and you may be tormented by fear
but above all else, a sun has risen
and i will you to stay alive

terrible thoughts scratching at the base of your mind
you drown them with effort and begin to rewind
the foreshadowing of a deathly midnight seems unkind
but you will be set free at last
and i will you to stay alive

be proud for all you can know will be missed
the temporary permanence of all that exists
the night will fall, your terror will turn to schist
gripping at your collar while you hope you’re not the only one
who wills you to stay alive.

oh how you breathe, the sweet air that fills lonesome lungs.
the moon may crawl on your skin and still you’d feel the darkness.
it seeps,
oh how it seeps,
into the creases of sleep, between your palms and your eyes.
no crickets, no engines, no breeze
could ever bring you out of your reverie.
your melodic blinks, the wisps of eyelashes dance against your cheekbones.
and still,
you’d let your mind flee.
it’s cold now, my love, close up that window by your side.
sink into the embrace of my touch
from miles away
i look into the endless black sky
and i just know that you see me too.

fingers intertwined, branches of a tree
you looked down to me, greedy eyes, pollen-grained
“draw me in” my mind wanders
thighs, or beehives, succulent and alive
fragmented sighs
a deathly sting, honey on my lips
breath on skin, wisps of hair like wings
dizzy desires
“draw me in”

there are some things i will never understand.

you are deserving of the pulse that beats through your fragmented skin.
every echo of your heartbeat proves to me just how alive, how real, you are

i will never understand why the universe thinks i deserve the privilege of existing alongside of you

every flutter of your eyelid,
every flicker of your hair,
every speckled star-dust on your body,

you are real
you are real
you are real

and you are a phenomenon, a diverse wildfire, a soul chasing the wind.
my whole entire world
rests upon your breath