you return to the house
 of ghosts
that have taken up
 residence in haunting

you wander into the backyard

you stand on each of the graves

of all of the people you have been

that you have laid down to rest

so long ago

you take a step closer

to the newly blossomed lilac tree

that you planted

on a day you were trying

hard not to be a ghost

the scent of beauty surrounds

everything
 and suddenly
death
 is not death

but an underwater birth

where drowning is blooming

and breathing is drowning

you pluck a lilac

you bring it home

you put it in a vase

and you smell it
until you can’t 
anymore.

and I can’t help but
think of you every time I hear
the sound of Julian Casablancas’s
voice
and I can’t help it
I will never be able to listen to
the Strokes without
remembering why i loved you
and I can’t help it
there isn’t a single September I’ve lived through without
being reminded of the first time
we fell in love
and it’s quite funny actually
that even after all this time
you’re still my favourite muse
and it’s quite remarkable actually
that even after how much you
hurt me
I could never ever
not love you
you never did realize
how lucky you were,
did you?
or perhaps I’m asking myself
that same question
either way,
you’re still
there
in those songs
in those places
and it will always be
the most bittersweet
of returns.

he's never patient with me
and thats the only thing i want him to be
he cares only for himself
and his thoughts
and his feelings
and disregards mine

i'm never patient with him
but does he even notice?
all i care for
are my thoughts
and my moods
(deep and blue)
that allow me to drown
and escape from his grasp

Some friends will never understand
people never can
what you see
is impossible to them

even to the closest friends
what we all see is indifferent
why cant we all just respect it
and not let whats different affect it

I wish people would see what i see
then things would be
a beautiful rainbow of clouds in the sea
like a abstract painting

with tons of colorful fishys
flowing with the current
no one going against it
opening paths that were once forbidden

we can all be accepted
free to be
without judgement here in the sea
adventures for everyone
for all those beautiful beings

a true journey  
with leaves that fall
to let us know
our time is short and sometimes cold
but we have each other to keep warm

forgetting the sun
we have warmth from within
a soul with a smile
that can warm it all

its like im looking through eyes
that are watching something bizarre
a fairy tale world out there
large plants that touch the clouds making my toes curl

color everywhere like a cone of ice cream swirls
with a light that lights it up just for us to make it flavorsome
bugs light up the the sky near when i see myself in the stars, i stare
in awe i notice bugs on the ground near that scare

we are fairys
living in a abstract mystical world
wings are clipped
but i guarantee i will still fly

life is to short for us.
And this.
To be acting like someone don't belong.
we live in a world where everything is different
from who we are to what we do

we live in a world where we really don't even know who we are
or why we are
its such afar
luckily im here for it all

its a gift to me here in the bizarre

my lips are quivering
so desperate
to feel you
against me

your voice is
filling my head
and your heart
filling my chest

your silky fingertips
flowing over my soul
your mind working
in harmony with mine

the way that the morning air
kissed your skin before i had
                               the chance
and the way that your lips
tasted so sweet
but not bitter
just perfect
and your hands
in my hair and
our legs entwined
and the                              beauty
of knowing that you were
all mine even
just
for
a night