hello: Favorites

Jul 2013 hello

I Don't Even Know What I'm Saying Half The Time

Jul 2013 hello

Evynne

I Don't Even Know What I'm Saying Half The Time

Sometimes I can't explain what I mean
A lot of the time actually
More like all of the time I think
So I guess people never really know what I'm talking about
But who's to say I don't either?
I can't explain what I mean
But when I think about it
If I could
I'm not quite sure I'd feel like it
So that is just how it is I guess

Jul 2013 hello

This Is How It Is

Jul 2013 hello

Evynne

This Is How It Is

Throughout my entire life
I've constantly thirsted for approval
From those whom I love and admire
And at different stages
It was different kinds of approval
But all the while
I was always on a quest for some form of it

I think it's more of a
My first priority is to make sure you are satisfied
And if you are not
What can I do to make it so that you are content?
Because for as long as I can remember
I have always put other people's happiness before my own
And still, other's needs before my own
I've never known how to say "No" when something is asked of me
I guess a part of it is a desperate hope that sings
If I am willing to do it for someone else, someone else would surely be willing to do it for me
But most of the time that is not the case
I am always giving people
Every single person I come into contact with
The benefit of the doubt
And a lot of times I shortchange myself because of it
So I guess I need to start reminding myself
That I don't need to hold on to anyone who can't
Or won't
Have me
And I don't need to reach out to people
Who never reach out to me
I don't need to drag my feet or my heart or my body
Through glass and destruction
For anyone

Because people are not prizes
And love is not a journey's end

But most importantly
I shouldn't ever be just another milestone
Crossed off someone's list

I should be a heartbeat
A phenomenon
An endless flame

Jul 2013 hello

Loser! :)

Jul 2013 hello

Zephyr

Loser! :)

Yeah, I'm a loser, I know.

But I like it that way

cause that means I'm being me

My sister has dubbed me as Loser, so that's my official name at home for her :) She doesn't mean it seriously but it's fun.

Jul 2013 hello

star dust

Jul 2013 hello

Elise

star dust

You traced the marks on my back and told me they looked like the big dipper
I wanted to tell you that your eyes shone brighter than any orbs of light we have desperately tried to make into
constellations
We have created stories for every star
Put so much thought into every light in the sky
Just to wish on them as they fall
When in reality

The north star is going to fall someday
And you'll still find your way just fine

I do not love you anymore

Jul 2013 hello

you're

Jul 2013 hello

Lyra Brown

you're

you’re so beautiful
sometimes I don’t think I’ve ever
seen a creature more beautiful
but then I remember how much
you hate yourself
and suddenly am aware
that you aren’t as beautiful
as you could be
if you recognized your own
beauty. Because self hatred
is not pretty. Although there is a strange
beauty in it, it is not pure.
It is not full. It is cryptic
and raw and utterly
selfish. There is beauty in that.
But not enough to make me
fall in love with you
again.

Jul 2013 hello

a/l/o/n/e

Jul 2013 hello

j

a/l/o/n/e

you went from being the brightest star in my sky
and my moon in the morning air
to being the anchor
weighing me down
in the murky waters
that keep me trapped in my head
you abandoned me
in pools so deep
and waves too strong for me to break free
you left me without any precaution or safety
a l o n e

Jul 2013 hello

Bittersweet

Jul 2013 hello

R

Bittersweet

she keeps saying I'm beautiful
but

I don't believe her.

I believe my proana friends.
they understand.

Jul 2013 hello

and if nothing else makes sense, I think i am afraid

Jul 2013 hello

j

and if nothing else makes sense, I think i am afraid

you are the hint of something sweeter
better than this
and more comprehendable
to my sour mind
than anything else
and if nothing else
in these incoherent realms of abstinence
makes any sense to me
but you
then I think
I am afraid

Jul 2013 hello

Attraction.

Jul 2013 hello

modelb0nes

Attraction.

I was a traveler.
She was a poet.
l visited almost half of the world.
She wrote about it.
I loved to wonder.
She was wanderlust.
I've been from North to West,
from Australia to Antarctica.
She saw them from her computer screen.
I loved her,
as much as I loved to travel the world.
She loved me as if I was the world..
or something. Though in my eyes,
she didn't even compare to the Eiffel tower
or the great wall of China.
She was much more majestic.
She said she could write about me all day.
I said I could explore every inch of her,
every day. And although I traveled everywhere
and anywhere you could imagine,
she was by far my favorite tourist attraction.
She was my world.
She was the whole world.
In a day.

Jul 2013 hello

Untitled

Jul 2013 hello

Dilectus

Untitled

i mumbled under the covers, my misery in words not as sharp
and spun on my back through tears of remorse
because i made
countless
mistakes
i screamed internally the insecurity that was building day after day
and rolled my regret up like quarters, getting heavier and heavier
then i lied
to myself
again
i woke up to shady memories of a sorry self-conscience
and i was pulled out of bed with a force not my own
then i cried
to myself
in the car
you showed me the things that brought back smiles
and sang with me in the corner
so that i
felt light
again
you sat me down gently, you spoke through my hair
and you told me not to worry
that death
could not
take me
you showed me the middle, where i stood then,
and nodded behind me before pointing forward
so i knew
which way
to go